Are All Parents Always Right?
Tamar sprinkled dust on her head, tore her colorful garments, held her head in her hands, and walked and cried. Her brother Absalom asked her, "Is it possible that your brother Amnon is close to you? My sister, please be silent for now. He is your brother. Do not take this matter to your heart." So Tamar was alone. and lived in the house of her brother Absalom. When King David heard this, he was very angry. Absalom did not speak good to his brother Amnon; Absalom hated Amnon because he had dishonored his sister Tamar. (2 Samuel 13:19-22)
There was no one in all the land of Israel who was so handsome and praised as Absalom, who was without blemish from the soles of his feet to the top of his head. His hair was very heavy, and it was cut off every year at the end of the year; the cut was weighed according to the king's weight, and weighed two hundred shekels. (2 Samuel 14:25-26)
⋯⋯Absalom rode on a mule and passed under the thick branches of a large oak tree. His hair got caught in the branches and he hung up. The mule he was riding on left him. Joab had three daggers in his hand, and he pierced Absalom's heart while he was still alive in the oak tree. (Refer to 2 Samuel 18:9-14)
David and Absalom
The "coolest" person in the history books of the Old Testament is none other than Absalom. He was flawless from the top of his head to the soles of his feet, which is simply unbelievable. But the way of his death was unbelievable, and it was also Absalom who was simply "cool"! The reason was that he was deeply dissatisfied with his father's handling of his sister Tamar's rape: As the king of a country and the head of the family, his father only got angry but did not punish his half-brother Amnon! Where is the fairness? Is it tolerable? Which one is intolerable? Absalom, who loved his sister (his only daughter was named Tamar), endured the rape for two years, and used sheep shearing as an excuse for a family trip, and coaxed his eldest brother Amnon out to kill him to vent his hatred!
After Absalom got into trouble, he fled to the king of Geshur to take refuge. For three years, David missed him deeply and mourned for Absalom who fled every day (his father's heart was really "glassy"). The captain Joab, who knew about the incident, invited a woman from Tekoa to persuade the king to allow Absalom to return, and David agreed.
Absalom returned to the capital, but after waiting for two years, he still could not see his father's face. So he set fire to Joab's fields to provoke Joab to beg his father. Sure enough, he met his father. But Absalom did not stop doing anything, playing the role of the underground king of Israel, taking away the "opinion polls", accumulating enough "public opinion", and then plotted to usurp the throne in broad daylight, boldly took away the throne, and even wanted to put his father to death. ! (The above refers to 2 Samuel Chapters 13-15) Mutinies that often occur in palaces at home and abroad in ancient and modern times are actually staged in the Old Testament!
In the first half of David's life, he was chased by Saul, but in the second half, he was chased by his son! The first half of the ordeal ends with the death of the workplace boss at the hands of the Philistines, and at that time David writes a lament for the house of Saul. But what probably made him even more heartbroken was that in the second half, he was chased by his son and fled, but Absalom was unexpectedly assassinated! After the palace mutiny ended, David heard the news of the death of his third son Absalom, and his grief was beyond words:“Then the king was grieved in heart, and went up to the gate tower to mourn, saying as he went, ‘My son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! I wish I could die for you, Absalom, my son! Son!’” (2 Samuel 18:33)
Karamazhufu brothers
The last novel of the Russian writer Dostoevsky, which is also the pinnacle of his literary creation, "The Brothers Karamazov", uses family tragedy as the main axis to explore the issue of the existence of God! Comparing the family changes in David, which resulted in the death of only his son Absalom, the Kalamazhufu family, who also experienced family changes, lost their father and the illegitimate son who killed his father.
In David's family tragedy, the reader knows from the beginning that the instigator is Absalom, David's beloved third son; and it was not his three sons who assassinated the dissolute old Karamazhu husband, and of course it would not be the court. The mistaken boss Dmitry. The reader finally discovers that it is the illegitimate son Pavel "Smirdyakov" (meaning "idiot" or "shameless person" in Russian) who was despised and insulted by his father!
The entire book "Brothers of Karamazhufu" testifies that "if there is no God, everything is possible." The illegitimate son was influenced by the atheistic thinking of the second son Ivan that "the world was not created by God and everything is allowed." He killed his father under the guise of pretending to be epileptic. What incited the tragedy in David's court was not Ivan's atheistic fallacy, but an ethical issue - how could parents treat their children so unfairly?
Although the direct motivations behind the two tragedies are different, they both present the most unquenchable cry deep in the hearts of children who have been hurt by their original families: How to treat parents who are obviously at fault? Children who have been hurt by their original family always whisper: Are there really no parents in the world who are not good? Does God exist? Why doesn't He do justice? Is there justice in the world?
Tragedy must be followed by remorse, and remorse is fertile ground for rich spiritual lessons. Absalom, who tried to murder David, was eventually killed by Joab, murdered the illegitimate son of the old Karamazhufu, and finally committed suicide. The second son Ivan, who hated his father deeply, was shocked to discover that his atheism was an accomplice in his father's murder. He felt so guilty that he suffered a mental breakdown! Compare David's cry after Absalom's death: "My son, I wish I could die for you!" Alessa, the third child who saw the destruction of his family, helplessly said on behalf of the whole family: "It's not that I don't accept the existence of God, it's just that I refuse it. His salvation.”
Need for salvation between generations
From these two family tragedies, I hope readers can see that what is most needed between the two generations is salvation. People in the world must experience suffering and torture, and through such torture, the body and mind can be purified and redeemed. I pray that from the House of David, we can release the following spiritual lessons that can achieve purification and salvation to families facing the challenge of the generation gap, especially the younger generations who question "there are no bad parents in the world":
1. Accept that parents will also have moments of weakness.
What makes Absalom dissatisfied and puzzled is why his father allowed his brother Amnon to pretend to be sick and deceitful, and then only dealt with the matter coldly. In fact, after David committed adultery with Bathsheba, he completely lost his authority and position in family and state affairs.
In matters of state, he did not dare to pursue or deal with Joab, who secretly killed two generals of Israel. It was not until his death that he asked Solomon, who succeeded him as king, to deal with it. The reason was that David's secret letter sending Bathsheba's husband to die on the front line became a clue in the hands of Joab. In family matters, David did not dare to accuse Amnon to his face, lest he ask, "Didn't you also insult Bathsheba?" It turns out that leaders of any level lose their justice, dignity, and authority to judge as long as they commit a crime.As subordinates or children, we must realize that our superiors or parents are not gods, and we must accept their weaknesses, and we must not apply a perfectionist framework to them. Therefore, children of God must "respect their ancestors" but not "worship their ancestors."
2. Seeing sin from parents is contagious
When David learned that Bathsheba was pregnant, in order to cover up his sin of adultery, he immediately transferred Uriah home from the front line so that they could have sex as husband and wife. Who knew that Uriah had not fallen into the trap. In order to prevent "the incident from happening", David had no choice but to act evil and commit another crime. He sent Uriah back to the front line to be killed by the enemy, so that he would not be able to clean up the mess in the future. David then committed adultery, false witness, and murder (with a borrowed sword).
As Shakespeare said:“What begins with unrighteousness must be strengthened with sin.”Martin Luther also said:"Original sin is like a beard, which is shaved off every day and appears again the next day."Children of God should not be complacent in not committing major sins but continuing in small sins. They must also beware of the hidden contagiousness and expansion of sins, and as Psalm 51 says, they directly offend God. GK Chesterton said:"When you go to a prostitute, you're knocking on God's door."Because "when we break the other commandments, we must have broken the first." (Martin Luther)
3. When growing up, you should pay more attention to your heart than your appearance.
After Absalom learned that his sister had been raped, he waited for two years before plotting to murder Amnon. He then spent three years running away from home, and it took another two years after returning home before he finally saw his father. During this period, the scriptures only mention Absalom's flawless appearance and unusually thick hair. It seems that he never actively sought to deal with and express the anger, humiliation, and injustice in his heart. So after committing the crime of murder, he should have been the subject of trial, but instead he played a role of manipulation and conspiracy, setting fire to Joab's fields, seizing the people's hearts, plotting for power, forcing his father to retreat, and establishing himself as king... Self-centeredness emerges completely.
As you and I grow up, we need to pay more attention to our inner life than our appearance.Napoleon was right:"I can command an army of millions, but I cannot command the temper within me!"The proverb says: “It is better to conquer one’s own spirit than to take a city.”Remember to show empathy to your parents when they do something wrong, and don’t let the fire of Absalom brew and burn in your heart, lest you embark on the path of self-destruction that he, and Smirdyakov, took!
▲Absalom’s flawless appearance and lush hair became the focus of attention. But who has seen the various emotions in his heart?
4. Never remove the roof when people are in the house
He acted as the savior of the people at the city gate and secretly recruited his subjects, causing "the hearts of the Israelites to turn to Absalom." David had no choice but to flee for his life in a hurry with his family and his family. "He went up to the Mount of Olives with his head covered and barefoot. While weeping..." Absalom, who had seized the throne at this time, actually set up a tent on the flat roof of the palace, got close to his father's concubines in front of all the Israelites, and deliberately tore down his father's roof in front of the people. !
When children face conflicts with their parents, they should not publicly humiliate their parents like Absalom and Ivan, the second eldest son of Karamazhu's family. Let’s learn from Jesus who also faced family “conflicts”: 1) The young Jesus who went to the temple for the festival did not use the excuse “Don’t you know I should be concerned about my Father’s business” as an excuse, but still obeyed his physical parents and returned to Nazareth Le; 2) On the cross, through "Look, your son" and "Look, your mother", John was asked to receive and take care of his mother Mary, whose heart had been pierced.
5. Pay special attention to the people you associate with when you are wronged
There are three friends that benefit people, and there are three friends that harm people: those who are good at catering to people's wishes; those who are good at persuading people with flattery; those who are clever in speech but too humble. Absalom and Amnon died because of bad company.
Absalom, who fled home, would have thought that his best friend was Joab, who persuaded his father to let him return home through the Tekoah woman. It was this Joab who stabbed Absalom to death. When the people who saw Absalom hanging on the tree rushed to report back, they reminded Joab that David had specially instructed "Do not harm the young man." However, Joab completely ignored it and turned around and stabbed Absalom to death. Amnon, who was so infatuated with Tamar that he became anxious and sick, also fell into following the trick of his cunning friend Jonadab. He pretended to be sick and asked his sister to send food and took the opportunity to rape her.
This reminds us that we should pay special attention to who our true friends are when we are wronged. Please remember what Proverbs 18:24 says, “Whoever keeps friends will bring about his own destruction.” True friends are the ones who bring you closer to the Lord!
▲When we are wronged, do the friends around us bring us closer to the Lord?
6. Spiritual law has its own father and son.
When children see their father's true face, they will inevitably whisper in their hearts: I will definitely be a better father in the future! Yeah? Come and see the David family, and the Karamatsufu family.
David, who fell into the trap of being a hero and a beauty, committed a series of crimes including adultery, false witnessing, and murder with a borrowed knife. Most of his sons also committed adultery: the eldest son Amnon raped his half-sister Tamar; the third son Absalom openly had sex with his father's concubines on the roof of the palace; the fourth son once tried to seize the throne left by David after his death. Adonijah was brutally put to death because he coveted his father’s personal virgin Jabeshah in his old age! King Solomon, who succeeded David on the throne, was even more serious: he had 700 concubines and 300 concubines. "These concubines tempted his heart." Because Solomon committed physical adultery, the United Kingdom fell into spiritual idolatry. From then on, the country Split in half. No wonder Chesterton said: "Original sin is the only doctrine that has been demonstrated in Christian theology."
7. Pride may become fatal
Like many people today, the wealthy Absalom was obsessed with personal "righteousness" (why his father did not punish him). Absalom's proud beauty was precisely his Achilles' heel - it was at that time that he grew up His hair, which weighed 200 shekels, got entangled in a branch and hung him up. Finally, he was stabbed to death by Joab while still alive!
You and I should also remember that beauty, talent, health, etc., are all given by God., so as not to fall into what Canadian Catholic theologian Charles Taylor said:"A secular age is the way people imagine their existence." (A secular age is the way people imagine their existence.)In this closed system and flat world without supernatural grace under the sun, focusing only on one's own existence leads to "You Are What You Love, by James KA Smith", which is Absalom, and Commentary on the death of the Karamatsufu family!
8. Don’t wait for it to rain before setting up a spiritual tent.
Indeed, from the perspective of the two families of David and Karamazov, perhaps it is as Tolstoy said in "Anna Karenina": "Happy families are all similar, and every unhappy family has its own characteristics." Everyone’s misfortune.” But we don’t need to be trapped by our family of origin. Don’t forget that we can “change our luck” by looking at Jesus on the cross.
Master Lu Yi is right:"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending."If you are still under the roof of your parents, prepare your body, mind and soul quickly. Don't wait until you get married to realize that you are not a good father or mother, and in the end you hurt your precious children, just like David and the old Karamatsu husband, making them complain: Are there any parents in the world who are all bad?
"Before the days of your youth and decline come near, those days when you say, my joy will be without joy, remember your Maker. . . . All these things have been heard, and the end is That is: fear God and keep His commandments. This is the duty of man. For God will judge everything that man does, including all hidden things, whether good or evil." (Reference Preaching. Joshua 12:1, 13-14)
▲There is no need to be trapped by our family of origin. You and I can look to Jesus and build a spiritual shelter.
Wu Xianzhang, professor of Old Testament at China Evangelical Theological Seminary, director of the Doctoral Department of Pastoral Studies and Doctoral Department of Mission.