Faith Leaders: The Path to a Good End

▲Service is like a marathon. Replenish your supplies at the right time with a steward’s attitude and maintain a proper pace to achieve a happy ending.

Leaders’ families bear the brunt

Pastor Li Xiuquan, the former director-general of the Chinese Welfare Association who is over 80 years old, often reminds faith leaders to "die well" and finish well. I believe that from his height and breadth, I feel sorry for some faith leaders who have not been able to complete their journey of service in recent years.

Don’t think that serving until retirement is called a good death. In fact, it is a process. No matter what stage of service you are in, you need to be alert.

I have been involved in family ministry for decades, and the True Love Family Association has also entered its 23rd year. I deeply feel that this is an era of greatest crisis for families; it is also an era of greatest opportunities for family ministry. Without a vigilant heart and supportive peers, the families of faith leaders will also be affected.

Since the 1970s, the pastoral divorce rate in the United States has doubled almost every decade. The pastors of 70% admit to being depressed. The pastors’ addiction to pornographic websites and extramarital affairs cannot be ignored. Taiwanese teachers' wives suffer from depression at a higher rate than other women. Preacher's Kid (commonly known as PK) has long been spread as a name for the children of problematic pastoral families.

Faith leaders are encountering more and more family problems and impacts. There are two main reasons for this. One is the neglect of managing family relationships, and the other is Satan's attack on the weakness of human nature. Although religious leaders are servants of God called to serve, they are still sinners who receive grace.

The apostle John said: "For all the things in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the pride of life, are not from the Father but are from the world." From this passage, we can conclude that pastors Like ordinary people, they are susceptible to three major temptations: fame - lust for power corrupts people; eroticism - lustful lust corrupts people; and money - greed for money corrupts people.

The temptation of fame

Leaders have served for a long time, are successful, and are recognized. When the "power" is greater, the desire for control is likely to become greater and greater, and then the pursuit of more achievements and greater success. Since the early days of the True Love Family Association, some directors wanted me to serve as chairman. I said, "No, I'm looking for you because I want you to take charge of me; I have to be accountable to the board of directors." After more than 20 years, this is still the case. Persistence means not wanting to fall into the temptation of control.

Leaders also need supervision and management, checks and balances, in order to prevent them from falling into the temptation of fame and fame. When the service increases, so does the busyness and pressure. It is often easy to neglect family life, including me. Therefore, we often remind ourselves and all Christians, including faith leaders: "No success can make up for the brokenness of the family; no achievement can compare with the happiness of the family."

So, how to guard against the temptation of fame? First, be careful not to let service become an excuse for neglecting your family.Neglecting the family is not a natural or inevitable result of serving. When family members have dissatisfaction and protests and we cannot listen, we must be careful. Some people mistakenly believe that it is inevitable to sacrifice their family if they serve faithfully and zealously. Or have this thought: If I take care of God’s family, God will take care of my family. Marriage is a husband and wife’s commitment to God and each other, and the family is the first field of service. Taking good care of one's own home is the first step in serving God faithfully; running a good family team will become a boost for external service.

It is not easy to balance oneself, family, and service. I graduated from the seminary and entered the first Chinese Family Counseling Center. I went to the United States to obtain a doctorate in family counseling. After I returned to Taiwan and took on the important role of director of the center, I often lectured, taught, appeared in newspapers, and appeared on television. My son was just over two years old at the time. When I got home from a busy day, I lay down and didn't want to talk. One day my wife solemnly said, "You don't want to talk after you come back, but I want to talk to you after you come back. What should I do?" I replied confidently: "I am so enthusiastic about serving and you are so recognized. You are also a preacher, why are you so inconsiderate?" She said rudely: "If your service has caused our family to become like this, I will pray to God to change your service field." When I heard this, I became furious: "What are you doing? Can you challenge my sacred calling?" She said, "You forget that our marriage and family are also sacred!"

The Holy Spirit changed me through her powerful words that day.

Influential faith leaders should also be aware of the myth of dedicated service. Some leaders have various talents and are hands-on in everything they do. It seems that no one can replace them.In fact, a very important responsibility of leaders is to “know people and assign them well.” After all, “people” are also resources given by God. Leaders can give and create appropriate opportunities to allow more people to participate in service. While completing the ministry, they also build lives. If you want a "good death", you need to deliberately cultivate talents and be willing to hand over the baton at the right time. This is not only for ministry, but also for the great cause of God’s kingdom.

Some leaders think that only by serving with all their strength can they not fail God, but do not admit that they are also human beings and must have limitations in ability, physical strength, and time. In order to "die well", we need to discern God's call, have faith but not be impulsive, do what we should do, and use tangible and intangible resources in a more planned way. Service is like an ultramarathon. In order to reach the finish line, you must replenish your energy at the right time and maintain an appropriate pace along the way. This is also a steward's moderation mentality: "For a better tomorrow to achieve a good ending."

erotic temptation

Jesus once said: "Whoever looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Jesus understood human nature. As long as the heart is moved, he will wait for the opportunity to act; many crimes begin with the lust of the eyes. He also taught us to pray like this: "Lead us not into temptation." That is to say, we must avoid even the opportunity of being tempted.

Some pastors or ministry leaders do not raise their guard. In order to "help" people, they say "it doesn't matter" or "it doesn't matter" once or twice. They feel that they have control over the situation, so they let down their guard. Or use the excuse of "I'm too tired from serving and need to relax" to get myself into inappropriate relationships.

Proverbs reminds you to “guard your heart above all else, for from it come the results of your life.” This is indeed true. The English word "guard" in English means to protect, protect, defend, guard, and resist attacks. It means being proactive, not passive. Setting up defenses in advance and keeping boundaries is what any leader who wants to "die well" needs to do.

▲The "conservative" heart is better than guarding anything. It means proactively protecting and defending. Faith leaders need to take precautions and keep boundaries to achieve a good death.

temptation of money

Money can be a great resource for ministry, but the love of money is the root of all evil. If successful service brings rich wealth, faith leaders should be careful not to be greedy and account for every penny. Paul said:"I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound; I have learned the secret for everything and in everything, whether I am full or hungry, whether I have plenty or whether I am in need.", is also what we should learn.

Looking back on the past 52 years of service, I have encountered several major decisions that tested my faith. I grew up in a poor family, and my dream after I was admitted to the Department of Chemical Engineering was to open a small soap factory one day. When I was in third grade, my professor invited me to work in his factory after graduation and promised to become the factory director within five years. Little did I know that during the summer vacation of that year, I would be called to serve the Lord full time. I told the professor who was an elder that I was called, but he responded coldly: "It's a waste of talent." This made me occasionally reflect on whether I regretted it, and I was able to stick to the service I was called to do.

While serving as the Director of Social Services of Chang Gung Memorial Hospital, the salary was much more generous than when serving in a gospel organization or church. Although he had the prospect of a promotion and a sharp increase in income, he became the principal of Guandu Christian College after he became aware of another "urgent calling to serve."

After serving for many years, I have never been rich or wealthy, but I still have food and clothing. “The Lord is my shepherd, I will never be in want.” This is God’s promise and my personal experience.

In fact, regardless of position or title, whether faith leader or layperson, the path of life is the path of service. In order to "die well", we must walk humbly with God at all times. You don’t necessarily need to be in a leadership position to have influence, and influence is not necessarily limited to visible achievements. We should adopt a stewardship mentality of "kindness, loyalty, and insight", use resources prudently, guard our words, deeds, and thoughts, so that the service footprints we leave behind will be full of the fragrance of Christ.

When the time and opportunity comes, being able to advance and retreat knowingly and passing on the baton, and allowing the newbies to create new realms and achieve transformation or breakthroughs in the ministry, isn’t this also trust in God?

"Good ending" starts today.

Dr. Ye Gaofang, the current president of the International True Love Family Association, is a pioneer in promoting professional family services and a well-known family education and consultation expert among Chinese people around the world. Since 1972, he has devoted himself to professional family ministry and enjoys the reputation of "Soul Catcher" and "Family Love Master".