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In my memory, the scene when my son was born is still clearly printed. In the quiet little town in the north, the winter snow has just melted, and it is mid-autumn when the warmth turns cold. The son's slender body and thick black eyebrows seem to be just yesterday. The shock and surprise are still in my heart. I can still feel it clearly. The heart-wrenching pain of having my son fall ill on the fifth day of his life and getting an intravenous drip, the high hopes when he named his son "Bo Xiao", the tears of joy when his son called "Mom" for the first time, the joy of watching his son learn to walk... …Suddenly, the little baby has grown into a fifteen-year-old boy.
Fifteen years passed quietly through the fingers. Looking back on every minute and every moment, God’s protection is reflected in everything, and God’s blessings are always present. From the time when my son was a toddler, babbling, to a tall and strong teenager, there were conflicts, hesitations, arguments, laughter, and countless happy moments in his growing up days. Under God’s protection and guidance, I learned to be with my son. Grow together.
The whole family travels together to see God’s grace
When our son was young, we lived in China. The beautiful "Tsinghua Garden", beside the lotus pond and on the lawn, is full of his laughter and laughter. Since he was two years old, we have taken him to the Old Summer Palace, the Summer Palace, and the zoo almost every weekend; in the spring, he went to Tiananmen Square to fly kites; in the autumn, he went to the Xiangshan Botanical Garden to enjoy flowers. Every summer I take him back to his grandma's house to enjoy the cool summer on the Loess Plateau.
During the fifteen years of my life, traveling brought the happiest time and beautiful memories to the whole family. Driving on a flat highway, green grass, pastures, lakes, small bridges, deserts and mountains slide past your sight. My husband was driving, and my son and I were busy taking photos. The laughter along the way and the singing of the car will forever echo on the river of memory.
When my son was four and a half years old, on a cold Christmas Eve, he went with me to Canada to visit his husband, who had been away from home for eight months. The next year, when the weather got warmer and the spring rain fell in March, we traveled to the world-famous Niagara Falls together. Fall. My son still remembers the majestic and hazy spectacular scene.
After immigrating to the United States, family trips once or several times a year not only cultivated my son's interest in appreciating nature, but also gave me a wonderful time to completely forget worldly worries, relax physically and mentally, and communicate better. The Christmas before last year, we traveled to the Grand Canyon. We were in the endless red-brown Grand Canyon. My son said: "This is God's masterpiece. No one can create such a work." My son can be in the world between heaven and earth. See God’s great creation and be thankful.
Growing up together with life
Over the past fifteen years, we have developed the habit of doing things together with our son, allowing him to participate in whatever he can do. For example, my son’s favorite food is dumplings. Every weekend, the whole family makes dumplings together, and he learns how to roll dough from an early age. Of course, at the beginning, the little guy ran around and was more active than anyone else, but he became more and more helpful; now he is doing an absolutely standard job.
Last summer, my son and I studied together every morning. My son is my best English teacher. Sometimes we read a book together and then analyze and discuss our thoughts together; sometimes we bake cakes and make soup together, go to the gym to exercise in the afternoon, and watch videos or TV together in the evening. That summer vacation, we had a very pleasant and unforgettable experience.
Since my son was ten years old, every Saturday morning has been a regular time for my husband and son to play basketball, rain or shine, year after year. At dusk, in the afterglow of the setting sun, the whole family would take a walk or chat; sometimes they would play cards, chess, or even game consoles with childlike innocence.
Whatever a man sows, that will he also reap. Because we have established a good parent-child relationship and communication channels with our son since childhood, even though our son is in adolescence, he still maintains cordial interactions with us. Thank you God for giving us heavenly wisdom, love, and patience to study with our son, have fun together, and grow together in the Lord and love.
God protects the relationship between father and son
My son entered high school last year. During the summer vacation, I started taking some minor courses in high school, one of which was "Health". Once, my son discussed the father-son relationship with me. I said that according to surveys, before the age of fourteen, boys think their father is the most capable person; after the age of fourteen, 90% of boys think their father is the stupidest person in the world. The man regards his father as his enemy. My son said, yes, that’s what the “health” textbook says.
I asked my son: "Then what do you think of Dad?" My son replied: "Dad is still cool and my best friend." At this moment, my heart is filled with gratitude and praise. Lord, we are so virtuous and capable that You have given us such a good son. It is precisely because of Heavenly Father’s blessing and guidance that we have established a beautiful relationship with our son as father, mother, teacher, and friend.
Accept advice and have the courage to make corrections
We have learned many lessons and lessons over the years growing up with our son. First of all, teaching by example is better than teaching by words. If you want your children to be who you want them to be, what kind of people should your parents be first? Witness life with life, enrich life, and thus influence life.
We have been committed to cultivating good living habits in our son since he was a child. From one to nine every night (changed to 9:30 after his freshman year), he puts his son to bed. I myself was addicted to dozens of episodes of TV series and could not extricate myself, while my husband started surfing the Internet. My son kept moving around on and off the bed.
One day, my son asked me: "Mom, doesn't that mean watching too much TV is bad? Then why do you always watch it?" I was suddenly shocked. As my son grew up, he began to observe that his mother's words and deeds were inconsistent. So my husband and I began to review our living habits. Especially last February, I participated in a literature camp organized by the church. The most profound impact was that I had to learn to live a simple and disciplined life. So make up your mind to get rid of the bad habit of being arbitrary and irregular.
After dinner, the whole family takes a walk together, watching the sunset, talking about interesting anecdotes, and listening to my son talk about school, friends, and homework. Then, we read the Bible and pray together, and like my son, we go to bed at ten o'clock and get up at six in the morning. In this way, my son naturally developed a good routine.
Secondly, parents must have the courage to admit their mistakes and sincerely apologize. Show with facts that we are all sinners and will commit sins, and we must show our repentance and love with our lives.
Study the Bible New Education
When our son was four and a half years old, he traveled across the ocean with us and struggled to survive in a completely unfamiliar environment. The dual pressures of schoolwork and work made my husband and I become irritable and upset. Especially for me, who was reduced from a working woman to a housewife, I thought that in my thirties, if I gave up the cultural background I was familiar with and the career foundation I had established, it would be the end of my life! So he placed all his hopes on his son.
He has been taught addition, subtraction, multiplication and division since he was five years old, and he has been asked to learn Chinese. He hopes that he will be good at both Chinese and English in the future, and be good at both humanities and science. However, my son has been naughty since he was a child, loves basketball and sports, and even hard and soft tactics cannot calm him down.
▲The author, his wife, and their son (right) were photographed in front of the Chinese Church in West Houston, where they grew up together in the Lord.
I tried to use provocation to force him into submission, and it worked in the early years. As he got older, such methods gradually became ineffective. Most of the time, he used the tactic of turning a deaf ear; as for me, I responded by getting angry and furious. Later, my husband and I were both baptized after Easter in 2002. We also participated in the "Blessed Family" Sunday School course organized by the church. We continued to study and finally improved the situation.
"Every way a man does is right in his own sight; but the Lord weighs the heart." (Proverbs 21:2) This sentence touched me very much, as if the Lord was speaking to me. I realized that: I tried my best to make my son study ahead of schedule, and it was called for his future, but it was actually for my own dreams and vanity. “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)
"You should confess your sins and repent." The light of the Lord illuminated the darkness deep in my heart, allowing me to see my sins. We said to our son: "Mom and dad ignored your ideas and interests in the past. We did many things wrong. Please forgive me. From now on, if mom and dad do something wrong, you have to tell us because we are all sinners."
From then on, we adopted a peaceful and step-by-step approach to education, focusing on our son’s spiritual needs and building up, and jointly building a personality that loves the Lord and others with all his heart. "Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will come true." (Proverbs 16:3) Now, my son controls his time at home, arranges studies, and takes elective subjects. There is no need for his mother to nag and get angry, and everything goes smoothly. , more harmonious.
Finally, the Bible says, parents, do not provoke your children to anger. You should speak more words that build others up, and do not lose the ambition of your children. Because children are not our private property, but God’s rewards and gifts, we must educate our children according to God’s will so that they can become people after God’s heart.
Accept the truth and enjoy the joy
I have loved owning a piano since I was a child, but in China in the 1970s, pianos were too far away from ordinary people's living standards. So I put the dream of realizing the piano on my son. There have been painful conflicts, and there have been regrets about hating iron and not being able to make steel. It even hurt my son's self-esteem and made me a lot of idle. My son's piano is still not up to par. It's hard to create a climate. It wasn't until I attended church Sunday school and learned that God created each person to have his or her own uniqueness, and that parents should accept their children as they are, that my heart suddenly became enlightened.
yes! Maybe my son has no musical talent, so why force it on him? From now on, stop nagging your son to practice piano and just make it a hobby! The most amazing thing is that my son likes playing the piano more and more. He no longer regards it as a drudgery, but has become a pleasure to enjoy leisure and life.
Thank God for choosing us from among all living beings, giving us His words, and giving us the Holy Spirit to live in our hearts. As our son grows up, because God is with us, we can rely on the grace of the Lord to minimize conflicts during his most difficult period of youth rebelliousness.
Life is wonderful, sacred, and contains God’s grace and blessings. In the years from the birth of my son to the current fifteen-year-old life, I have experienced a life process from conception, birth to growth, and I have also experienced how wonderful this is, such a sacred agreement, only as a parent can we do our best. , love your children with all your heart, because this life agreement is full of the miracle and love of the Creator. Therefore, parents must follow the will of the Lord of life, obey His will, and learn and grow together with their children.
Author profile
bamboo heart, worked in the university library after graduating from the law department. After coming to the United States, I switched to accounting. He once lived in Canada and now lives in Texas. I like traveling and music; I love reading and writing. In his spare time, he spends his free time growing flowers, sewing, and interior design. The happiest time is when the family drives around the United States. I also dream of traveling around the world.