out of silence

Mother of two hearing-impaired daughters confesses

Oral narration/Wang Meimei

Interview/Liu Shuman

In the afternoon, the wind lazily roamed through the room, and the sunlight warmed the walls. My fourth daughter, Renee, was focused on the light and shadow on the wall, her hair combed by the wind, her mouth that had been locked for a long time, and she suddenly smiled like a spring flower blooming, while I, my empty heart, was full of things. .

The child who lost his music

That day at a friend's house, a plane flew over the sky and the noise was like thunder. Enen, who was only seven or eight months old, was not afraid at all. As usual, he only focused on the toys in his hands. After we got home in the evening, we used the microwave to test her hearing. She could turn her head when she heard the last "ding", and it never failed. One day, while I was using the microwave during the day, she didn't respond to the last "ding" and my heart began to sink.

The doctor found that her daughter has hereditary severe hearing loss. The average person's speaking volume is 40 to 60 decibels, but she needs a noise of up to 90 decibels, which is equivalent to being on a crowded street, to hear the sound. . I thought she was listening to her father playing the piano so attentively, but it turned out that she was just curious about his every move; she knew so accurately that the food in the microwave was hot because it was strange that the light from the microwave disappeared at night; she always slept soundly, and her sisters were practicing the piano or laughing. The noise never woke her up. It turned out that she was shut out of the sound and kept in silence.

Both generations of my family are majoring in music. My husband, Pastor Tang Kan, and I learned violin from my uncle when we were young. My mother specializes in vocal music, and my mother-in-law is a pianist. Music not only embodies the emotions between families, but also accompanies us through the hardships of life; it is also music that opened up a smooth path for me from the desperate situation of the black five categories, allowing me to further my studies in the United States and live and work in peace. Being immersed in music is like entering a painting, with a broad mind. Today, the three daughters are also studying piano, voice, cello and violin respectively. However, my heart is broken when I think that Enen will no longer be part of the family legacy.

My husband has quit his full-time job in the band and is studying in a seminary. I have been receiving endless caring calls at home, repeatedly explaining the child's condition and clarifying various speculations. Someone even asked me out of kindness: "Did you take antibiotics when you were pregnant? Did you do anything you shouldn't have done?..." Negative emotions came one after another, and I couldn't get out of my depression. I locked myself up tightly. Isolated from the outside world.

One day, Enen shouted "Ah! Ah!" and stretched out her little hand to point here and there. I held it this way and she didn't want it. That was wrong. She started to get anxious. In the end, even I couldn't bear it anymore and simply opened all the cabinets. Understand what she wants. I was frightened that the communication between us had turned red, and then I came to my senses. I couldn't remain negative like this, or I would risk my daughter's life, so I forced myself to go out and seek help.

▲In 2001, Renee and Ranita wore new artificial electronic ears, showed angelic smiles, and entered the world of sound.

▲Pastor Tang Kan, Mrs. Wang Meimei and their five precious daughters - the eldest daughter Tang Hui (back left), the second daughter Tang Wei (back right), the third daughter Tang Rui (front right), the fourth daughter Tang En (front right second) and Mo Daughter Tang Si (the one sitting in the arms of the master’s wife). In the love of God and the church, the whole family is happy.

Pay the price for "listening and speaking"

Should I go to a "sign language education" school or a "spoken language teaching" school? Debates over the two hundred years of history of deaf education have been endless, and opinions vary. An audiologist friend told me that her sister is hearing-impaired but uses spoken language to communicate. One day, the two of them dined out with another hearing-impaired friend who communicated in sign language. The younger sister ordered the food herself. , talking about politics and economics with nearby guests, talking and laughing. The friend looked at the menu and could only use his "fingers" to order. He was unable to join other people's conversations and was unhappy. I thought that if my daughter learns sign language, the whole family, relatives and friends, the church, and even the people in the places she frequents must also know sign language, otherwise it will be difficult to communicate with her. Suddenly, I decided to let my daughter receive oral education.

So my daughter and I took the first step of learning at the Children's Choice For Hearing and Talk Center, Sacramento, CA, which is 45 minutes away from home. On the long road to community in this country, Overcoming obstacles. Enen is one and a half years old, wearing a hearing aid and studying in the infant department for one hour a day, three days a week. In class, the teacher blew soap bubbles, popped one and said "ba!" I immediately imitated the "ba!" sound, and my daughter followed me after seeing my "sound". After class, come back with homework and practice again and again. In one year, I only learned 20 basic pronunciations, and my progress was slow. I had endless, time-consuming and nerve-wracking meetings with teachers and directors, and the process of applying for tuition subsidies was so cumbersome that I wanted to give up several times. But as soon as I saw the articulate three- and four-year-old children in the center, hope turned into motivation again, pushing me forward.

Just when I was gradually getting used to being with me, the doctor tested Ranita, my daughter, and confirmed that she also had severe hearing impairment. She required a volume of up to 110 decibels, which is equivalent to the unbearable sound emitted by the engine of an airplane when it takes off. She could only hear the noise of Ren. Instead of feeling bitter and adding insult to injury, I felt calm. This time, I knew how to deal with it.

When Enen was three years old, she had to go to kindergarten. Because our family was not in the school district of the "Children's Listening and Speaking Choice Center", we could only go to the school that was originally affiliated with us near our home. Although this school also had special education courses, we recognized the "Decision Center" "We attach great importance to the concept of whole-person education, not only teaching listening and speaking, but also encouraging students to express their own ideas, teaching the establishment of good interpersonal relationships, and then cultivating children's sound personality. We asked the original school for permission for our daughter to continue studying at the center and let the Education Bureau allocate funds to the center. However, repeated explanations and communications with the original school were ineffective, and we were forced to take legal action.

In order to provide a strong testimony, I visited the original school and carefully wrote down my experience. I explained the pros and cons of the two schools and the pros and cons of studying in detail to the lawyer I hired. After frightening back and forth, the original school convinced the original school to settle out of court and reach an agreement. When I first came to the United States to study, my supervisor said that the music department was an international department and students only needed to be able to say "yes" and "no". Now I can't help but smile when I think about it. With my limited English skills, where did I get the ability and courage to explain and communicate with lawyers in English in detail? In addition to the mother who loves her daughter and is willing to go through fire and water, there is also the admonition of the Lord Jesus to his disciples:“With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26)Have faith and rely on it!

▲The artificial electronic ear is composed of three parts outside the body: microphone, speech processor and coil signal transmitter.

▲After implanting artificial electronic ears, children who have never learned to speak need constant listening and speaking training.

The days of artificial electronic ears

When Enen was more than three years old and Sisi was two years old, the two underwent artificial ear (Cochlear Implant, also known as cochlear implant) surgery together. Since then, their studies have made great progress. Enen returned to public school at the age of six. At first, her language expression skills were not as good as those of her classmates. During the Individual Education Plan (Individual Education Plan) meeting, the school decided to send a special assistant to help, and supplemented it with speech therapy courses. Soon she Followed.

On the first day of school every time, I ask the teacher to give Enen a chance to introduce himself and show his classmates the artificial electronic ear worn on his ear. She explained to her classmates that the electronic ear helped her hear, just like someone who wears glasses to see.

I also remind new teachers that Enen’s seat should be face to face with the teacher, as far forward as possible so that our eyes can meet. Every night I check whether the electronic ear has sufficient power and put the spare battery in my school bag; I remind her every morning to remind the teacher to turn on the microphone in class; when the electronic ear is not in use, I turn off the power to save expensive batteries. Public schools only have half-day classes. In the morning, Enen and her sister study together for half a day at the "Children's Listening and Speaking Choice Center." I carefully write down what I learned in the morning in a contact book and give it to the teacher of the regular class in the afternoon, so that they can study together in the two schools. The learning is coherent and complementary to each other.

Last time I went back to Shanghai, I saw hearing-impaired compatriots selling homemade items in public places to make a living. I wanted to say some words of encouragement to them, but I was "speechless" - I couldn't communicate, and I had mixed feelings in my heart. Enen is twelve years old this year, and Sisi is ten and a half years old. Due to the right time and place, they both enjoy a good education. If they don't point it out, others won't know that they are hearing-impaired. Both of them studied piano, were inseparable, and were each other's closest friends. The days when my husband and I were going through many hardships were difficult and unbearable, and we relied on the Lord to carry us through them. Looking back now, the suffering was really short-lived and light.

There is God’s rich grace in the church

“He comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those who are in any kind of trouble with the comfort that God has given us.” (2 Corinthians 1:4)Here, I would like to encourage my hearing-impaired friends who are walking in the valley together:

1. Don’t miss out on your rights and interests:The United States provides various benefits for children with special needs. When a child is one year old and can sit up, the school district will allocate funds for children with special needs to receive appropriate training courses. You should apply early and diligently.
2. Family members should actively participate in:In particular, parents' participation and support are more important than medical treatment itself in the process of children developing language skills.
3. Choose a professional audiologist carefully:Find an excellent and experienced professional audiologist to make a personal "Mapping" to determine the amount of current stimulation according to the child's condition. This will determine the quality of future listening; the audiologist's assessment of the child's Learning and training will have a decisive impact.
4. Be persistent and never give up.Everything is difficult at the beginning, and tedious things come one after another. Several times I really want to give up, but once you take the first step, you will gradually get better.

In the church, it is best to ask a suitable brother or sister to be your liaison for prayer matters to prevent you from repeating your pain again and again, and to avoid words that, although they are out of love, will make you fall into the abyss of self-blame and guilt. Sunday school teachers should teach hearing-impaired children with the same truths and rules as normal children. They should not pamper or pamper them. They just need to pay more attention to whether they understand them. It is best to teach in English.

Our church has set up a medical fund account, and all the expenses that the insurance company does not pay are paid for on our behalf. The church’s intercession for us becomes the strength of the whole family and is our best support. What moved us the most was that when the church learned that our daughter was severely hearing-impaired, she mobilized everyone to learn sign language. Apart from the love of God, there is no greater love on earth.

“They passed through the Valley of Weeping, and they turned it into a place of springs; and the blessing of the autumn rains covered the whole valley.” (Psalm 84:6)What seems unfortunate to the world has caused God’s children to experience transformation and growth in life. Not only do they enjoy the extra love shown to us by the whole church, but they also experience God’s rich grace!

Cochlear Implant (also known as cochlear implant) tips

An artificial electronic ear is a set of sophisticated electronic equipment. Simply put, it is an electrode wire device that can generate a weak current. It is surgically implanted into the inner ear and directly stimulates the auditory nerve endings of the inner ear with current. It is different from a hearing aid that amplifies sound. .

✽Applicable persons: Patients with severe hearing impairment on both sides.
✽Mechanism: First, the microphone attached to the skin receives the sound and transmits it to the processor. This processor converts the sound into electric current, and then through the induction of the inner and outer coils of the skin, the sensor in the body generates electric current. The electric current passes through the electrode wire and is directly Stimulate the auditory nerve endings located in different locations and at different high and low frequencies to achieve the purpose of conducting sound.
✽Sound quality: The sound quality is distorted and different from the timbre transmitted by ordinary people through the vibration of the auditory bones. A listener who has lost his hearing for many years after undergoing artificial electronic ear surgery described the sound he heard again as "a robot talking with an inflamed throat", and Everyone has different feelings about sound quality.
✽Training: More of a signal than a sound. Whether it is a patient who has learned to speak before or has never learned to speak, it is a new stimulus and requires learning and persistent listening training.
✽Cost: Approximately US$40,000, or NT$800,000.

【Main reference materials】
"Mentors and Friends Discuss Medical Care - Otolaryngology", Lin Kainan, 2003, Taiwan Commercial Press, pp. 21~22.

Interviewee profile

Mrs. Wang Meimei and her husband Pastor Tang Kan were both born into musical families. They came to the United States in 1986 and have five daughters. Pastor Tang has served in symphony orchestras in China, Hawaii and San Diego. In 1993, he was called by God to attend the seminary. Since 2001, the couple has been pastoring together at the Lord’s Grace Church in the West District of San Diego.

Journalist profile

During the summer vacation of 2008, Liu Shuman was in the mood to buy some good books and participated in a writing practice training camp organized by the "Resources for Christ Association of the Kingdom of God". There, "one tael" of silver buried in the ground was unearthed. Thanks to the encouragement and cultivation of my good teachers and friends, I will not be questioned by the Lord as a lazy and evil servant in the future.