gate of heaven
[Novel Group] 3rd place
Shunchang drove his car and rushed towards the Washington Bridge.
The Washington Bridge is as majestic and majestic as ever, but tonight, the fan-shaped steel cables have become a large net, and the arch of the steel frame is like an open tomb in Shunchang's eyes. The decorative lights above are like devil's eyes, blinking and laughing. The Mid-Autumn Festival moon was obscured by thick clouds. Maybe she knew that those families who could not be reunited were most afraid of the full moon.
"Do I really have no way out?" Shunchang walked onto the pedestrian walkway next to the bridge and moved towards the center of the bridge step by step, with huge waves rolling in his mind.
According to the original plan, it would take less than an hour's drive after crossing the bridge to reach home in Shunchang. But now, he only has one thought in his mind - leave this world, leave completely!
"Why? Why? Things like rape and filth happen to me? Why didn't I know that there are also criminal activities in famous institutions of higher learning?" Question marks bubbled up one after another, like a pot of porridge that has been simmering for a long time. Mud into a ball.
In just twenty-four hours from yesterday to today, the world has completely changed. How could life be like this?
* * * * * * * * * *
Dieter University is located on a hilltop slope. The school is famous for its public-private partnership and its large enrollment of students. Every year, 13,000 "fresh people" bring vitality to the college. Nearly 600 various clubs have taken turns partying since the first day of school, so that "fresh people" who have just left home will avoid the pain of homesickness.
"Freshman" Shunchang is 1.72 meters tall, with fair skin, delicate features, and a slight backache, which is a sign of sitting at the table for a long time.
Apart from studying, Shunchang has few hobbies.
Shunchang felt a little upset when his entrance exam results were not satisfactory. Does this school have a tradition of "showing off" to newcomers? Now, he really wanted to talk to someone, even his roommate Jimmy, whom he didn't like very much. However, as soon as it got dark, no one knew where they had gone.
Jimmy is a member of the basketball school team. He is a big man with a big voice and big moves. He was particularly friendly to Shunchang, but Shunchang felt that he always looked at him strangely, and sometimes would pat his back or butt intentionally or unintentionally. Shunchang doesn't like this.
The sky is getting dark, and the moon hanging in the sky is already very round. Shunchang walked out of the dormitory aimlessly. He thought, tomorrow is the Mid-Autumn Festival, which is also his eighteenth birthday. If he goes home to celebrate his birthday, how will he explain to his parents that he has a bad start in school?
In front of the college library building is a cement terrace of about 8,000 feet. Around the terrace is a cement flower bed over one foot high and several stone chairs and benches. The flower bed is filled with flowers or plants from time to time, just like the students in the college, always so prosperous and full of vitality. This is also the place with the broadest view in the entire college. Looking out into the distance makes you feel relaxed and happy. There are undulating hillsides now. After a few bursts of autumn wind, the grass begins to turn yellow and the trees become colorful.
Shunchang walked here subconsciously.
"Shunchang! Shunchang!" With a call, Jimmy came to him. "I've been looking for you for a long time, so I guess you're here."
"Looking for me, what's the matter? I also want to talk to you."
"There is a party tonight, I will take you to see it."
"What kind of party? I'm not in the mood."
"Oh, you are always so depressed. Let's go. I promise to make you happy tonight." Jimmy didn't let him say anything, grabbed his arm and led him to the edge of the campus, a building of independent houses.
Entering the door, there were already more than a dozen men and women inside. The lights were half-dark, the sound of music, laughter, the smell of alcohol and the strange smell of cigarette smoke mixed together. Some people were shirtless, some were holding wine bottles, some were telling playful and slightly pornographic jokes, and some were twisting their bodies to the music. Shunchang felt hot. He wanted to turn around and run away through the door, but Jimmy grabbed him. Jimmy pulled Shunchang to the sofa in the corner and gave him an open bottle of beer, but Shunchang didn't want to take it.
"You are a man, not a boy, drink!" Jimmy's voice was irresistible.
Yes, I will be eighteen tomorrow and I want to be a man! Be your own master. Thinking of this, Shunchang raised his head and started drinking.
After a few mouthfuls, a ball of fire slowly burned upwards from his abdomen, and Shunchang felt like he was floating lightly. In a daze, a warm hand touched his shoulder and back. It was so comfortable, and he gradually fell asleep.
* * * * * * * * * *
Shunchang woke up from a heavy headache and tried to remember what happened last night. Just listen to Jimmy's voice: "Do you understand? We are a gay club. I fell in love with you from the first day I met you. To tell you the truth, I "fucked" you last night. Look, there are pictures As proof." As he spoke, Jimmy shook a handful of photos in his hand.
Shunchang's head exploded with a bang. It was a nightmare he had never imagined.
Jimmy added: "Remember, you belong to me from now on. Follow me and you will enjoy the greatest fun in life. If you refuse, don't blame me for posting these photos online."
In front of Shunchang's eyes, Jimmy's twisted face and domineering eyes were all seen.
Unprecedented coldness and darkness are pressing towards Shunchang.
* * * * * * * * * *
As Shunchang walked to the center of the bridge, the autumn night wind became stronger and more chilly. The waves under the bridge were beating against the bridge piers. In Shunchang's ears, it was like a devil howling: "Come down, come down!"
Shunchang's heart screamed, where is God? Why did He give me this unbearable burden? Oh, how many lives have been lost to this tall bridge for more than half a century. Now I know that "death" is sometimes simpler and easier than "life".
Shunchang climbed up to the chest-high railing, put his head down, and kicked off with his feet. I could only hear the wind whistling by my ears, and the surroundings became completely dark...
Suddenly, Shunchang felt like he had entered a revolving theater, much like the Astronomical Science Museum he had been to before, where he was surrounded by stars. But this time, it was a movie screen, continuously showing fragments of his life over the past eighteen years.
When he was three years old, his mother taught him to recite his first poem, "Wandering Son's Song". The words "I'm afraid I'll be back soon" gradually enlarged. His mother's eyes and smile have been deeply imprinted on his young heart since then, and have accompanied him till now.
The first day of school at the age of seven. His mother put a schoolbag on his back and told him to listen to the teacher, study hard, and become a useful person to society and mankind in the future. However, when his mother turned and left at the school gate, her inadvertent sigh impressed him more deeply than any words.
When he was ten years old, his family immigrated to the United States. One day, at school, his classmates laughed at his accent, his clothes, and his smell. He was crying secretly. He missed his classmates and friends in China. He didn't know why his parents had to come to the United States so that he and his sister could get a better education. Shunchang felt that he did not belong in the United States.
At the age of thirteen, Shunchang discovered that the world of knowledge is a peaceful world, without noise, ridicule, or indifference. How much time you spend will lead to success. He finally became a member of the school's Mathematical Olympiad team, winning trophies for the school and himself. In school, the eyes of classmates also changed from contempt and indifference to envy and adoration. Shunchang feels better and better about himself.
At the age of fifteen, his parents began to take Shunchang and his sister to church, and the family was baptized as Christians at the same time. From then on, I went to church every week to worship and attend Sunday. Shunchang likes to praise hymns and often wonders what angels look like and how many angels the choir in heaven consists of. It’s just that the Bible knowledge in Sunday worship and Sunday school is always not closely connected with reality.
When he was sixteen, he fell in love with Liz, a beautiful girl in his Sunday school class. He wrote her a card on Valentine's Day, hinting that he wanted to date her. Unexpectedly, Liz gave the card to her mother, and her mother told her parents about it. His parents taught him a serious lesson, such as "establish a career first, and then think about falling in love and marriage", and "this is the critical moment for applying to college, don't be distracted." etc. This really turned Shunchang off, and he no longer went to church with his parents.
On the eve of his eighteenth year, Shunchang entered the Ivy League University as he wished. But instead of the excitement he expected, he felt a little lost and heavy.
Last night, everything that happened last night also became apparent, and the scene after he fell asleep was unsightly. He couldn't help but yell: "You damn beasts!"
* * * * * * * * * *
I don’t know how long it took, but the darkness behind the shadow turned into a bright light. He remembered that when he was a child, his teacher asked them to draw the sun. He stood in the midday sun and wanted to see the sun clearly. As a result, he tried several times and his eyes were stabbed to tears. But this time, he felt that he had no eyes and did not need to open them. He only felt that the light surrounded him from all directions, with warmth and fragrance.
"Child, I understand you." A three-dimensional and loud voice came over.
Shunchang asked: "Who are you?"
"I am the God you once worshiped."
"God? Really? Where am I now?"
"Heaven's Gate."
"I don't want to go to heaven, I want to go home. I miss my parents so much. They must be waiting for me to go home."
"Yes, I know. Come and see," God said, pointing downwards.
Shunchang saw the roof of his home, and then entered his house. From the ceiling, he saw his mother, father and sister sitting around the round table in the restaurant, and his seat was empty. The table was filled with delicacies made by my mother, with "Sixi" large mooncakes placed in the middle. Shunchang remembered that his mother told him on the phone two days ago that this was the most expensive mooncake on the market. She bought it to celebrate the Mid-Autumn Festival and his eighteenth birthday.
I saw my mother speak: "What's wrong with this kid in Shunchang? He said he got home around six o'clock, but it's almost nine o'clock now. Did something happen?"
Dad stood up and looked out the window, then walked behind his mother, patted her shoulder with his hand, and said, "Shunchang is a good boy. He said he would come back today. There may be a traffic jam on the road. Don't worry, believe in God. I will protect him." After sighing, his father added, "I was too strict with him before, and some of my promises were not fulfilled. When he comes back, I will apologize to him." Shunchang could feel that his father was more worried than his mother.
My sister said, "Americans say, 'The full moon is when people go crazy.' Are we also a little nervous? My brother will be very happy when he comes back and sees the birthday gift I gave him."
Shunchang saw the gift his sister gave him, neatly wrapped in wrapping paper, on the coffee table in the living room. In two years, my sister will also go to college. "I want to tell her that she must be vigilant and mentally prepared when she leaves the protection of her parents and faces the dangers of the world alone." Shunchang thought, and the idea of going home became stronger. He sensed the uneasiness and worry of his relatives.
Shunchang felt sad and shouted "I love you!" but they were indifferent. He wanted to hug them, but his body was as light as a hydrogen balloon and refused to obey.
“Look how much your family loves you, especially since they trusted me.” The voice of God.
Yes, before his parents believed in the Lord, they always urged him to study with his sister, and they often compared themselves with other children. After believing in the Lord, he never heard his parents say such words again. Instead, they often reminded him to spend more time reading the Bible, praying, and getting close to the Lord. It turns out that it is faith that makes parents change their perspective. They no longer regard their children as their own private property, and they no longer expect them to add a halo of glory to themselves.
"Yes, my family loves me, but I can't go back now," Shunchang said.
God immediately replied: "You will return to your parents soon. You are only eighteen years old, and I have only completed a quarter of the puzzle of your life. This is why I stopped you at the gate of heaven. Go back and be good." Alive." Shunchang secretly rejoiced. Thinking of my own experience, I felt a little hesitant.
God also said: "I know the scars in your heart and the filth in your body, but you must believe that my precious blood can wash away everything and make you as white as an angel." Shunchang's heart gradually warmed up. Although he had many questions in his mind, he did not want to ruin the beauty of being with God.
Shunchang suddenly remembered that he really wanted to know whether the praises of angels were the same as the praises in the church? Are the songs in heaven the same as the hymns in the church? He even wanted to know how the choir of angels sang.
"Dear God, I have one last request. Could you please let me see the choir of angels and hear the hymns of heaven?"
God said, "Son, one day you will hear it."
* * * * * * * * * *
The staff on the lifeboat and two ambulance personnel in white were putting Shunchang into an ambulance at the pier.
"After first aid, my heartbeat and breathing have resumed." The lifeguard told the doctor.
The nurses skillfully put an oxygen mask on Shunchang and opened the infusion line.
Shunchang's parents received the notification and were driving to the hospital's emergency room.
"Why did this child have such an accident? Was it suicide or homicide? Why didn't he have any premonition? Is there anything he couldn't tell his parents?" Shunchang's father thought.
Shunchang's mother blocked her mouth with a towel and tried not to cry.
The younger sister was holding a gift for her brother in her hand. She wanted to let him know that she loved him. This was a gift she bought for her brother with her first salary from a part-time job.
Award speechWhy is there no way out for a young life? Where is the salvation? Can love save life? A real incident made me think hard and couldn't understand it, so I tried to use it to create a discussion. Thanks to the judges for their encouragement.
About the Author
Ziying, whose real name is Xu Yun. Originally from the mainland, he settled in New Jersey, worked at a state university, and enjoyed reading and writing as a hobby.