Loving couple ministry oriented towards "discipleship training"

【Ministry】

The starting point of the ministry: to fulfill the wish of growing old together and loving each other

In the 1870s, there was a folk song "White Hair Ode" that was sung in the United States. It has a moving melody and even more touching lyrics: "My dear, I am getting older, and my hair is as white as frost and silver. I am happy that life is like morning dew. How good is youth? But you will always be my lover, always beautiful and gentle... The years of life will never come back, and youth and beauty will never come back, but you will always be my lover, and this love will never change."

I can’t tell you how many times I saw a couple with white hair, supporting each other and cuddling up, walking in the park, waiting for the bus at the bus stop, or waiting for a doctor in the hospital... There are always... An indescribable warmth and joy surged from my heart, as if I could see what Jingfen and I would be like in the future, sharing life, supporting each other, loving and respecting each other for the rest of our lives. I can’t remember how many times I would walk forward quietly and quickly when I was moved by the scene, so as not to let my friends who were traveling with me see me raising my hands to wipe my tears.

Many lofty and ambitious teachings told me that marriage is a spiritual battlefield. The devil wants to destroy, steal, and kill; but God wants to establish, perfect, and save. Many spiritual books explain that marriage and family are a couple that builds each other up. Service ministry requires greater commitment and investment from many people. These are appropriate and true teachings, but they are not the most important reasons why I am committed to family ministry. My main reason is: In this era when family values are at stake and family connections are at stake, I hope more Christian couples can work hand in hand for the Lord throughout their lives, grow old together, multiply their love, and grow old full of joy. This humble wish was the starting point for my wife and I to embark on husband and wife ministry together.

▲A loving couples camp led by the author and his wife (second from right in the back row and second from left in the front row).

A turning point in ministry: Participating in Family Renewal Association’s “Loving Couples Camp”

Since 2006, my wife and I first came into contact with the loving couples camp course of the Family Renewal Association (referred to as "Family Renewal") in Chicago. After returning to New Jersey, we began to follow the group and happily devoted ourselves to couples and family ministry. At that time, I really didn’t know how great the world was, but fortunately I had my beloved wife by my side to encourage and support me. The equipment she accumulated in school - professional social work knowledge and clinical training - is a treasure trove of resources for our couples ministry. With her suggestions and planning, we can gradually lead more than ten camps and follow-up groups after the sessions.

In the past ten years of service, we have slowly come to understand the persistence of our new president Qiu Qingtai and Mrs. Zhujun, and gradually understood how to lead couples from "respecting each other like "ice"" to being willing to communicate and understand each other. , rekindle the fire of love, then enter a harmonious relationship between husband and wife, and sublimate it to a relationship between husband and wife, such a step-by-step step cannot be rushed or hastened. Precisely because it takes a long time to invest in building relationships between people and share God’s intentions for couples and families in a profound and simple way, I realized that such in-depth camps and follow-up group training are actually the model of “disciple training”; and “ The goal of "Jiaxin" discipleship is: "Couples are gained by the Lord and used by the Lord, and then build a beautiful family in the kingdom of God."

Back in 2001, my wife and I began to lead family camps on special topics and share ways for couples to get along. After a few years, I discovered that there were two great difficulties in teaching family and husband-wife relationships in a camp with hundreds of people: First, the teaching could not be in-depth because there were too many people and it was difficult to arrange suitable family talks or small groups. The second is that the follow-up effect is not effective. The effect of the camp seems to be a special temporary first-aid medicine. After the effect of the medicine wears off, the trauma returns to the original level without improvement. Based on such restrictions, we began to actively search for more effective leadership methods. Meeting the new "Love Couple Camp" in Jiaxin was like finding a spring of water in the wilderness, injecting new ideas and hope into the bottlenecked ministry.

▲The author and his wife took a photo with their friends at the Global Co-workers Conference of the New Home Association.

Content of the ministry: According to the teachings of the Bible, let the marriage see spring again

Jiaxin is an international organization headquartered in Hong Kong, while the American branch is located in Los Angeles. There are two main camps promoted by Jiaxin: "Love Couple Camp MER1" and "Couple In-depth Camp MER2". MER means in English It is a "Marriage Enrichment Retreat". The functions and purposes of the two camps are different.

The main purpose of "Love Couple Camp MER1" is to build intimacy between couples. According to the teachings of the Bible, a couple should be one and the same, but in reality, it is quite difficult to become one. In daily life, couples will have differences of opinion in every aspect they face, including raising children, using money, living habits, etc. Among Christian couples, they have many differences in church ministry, belief understanding, and personal spiritual life status.

▲The goal of the discipleship training of the "Family Renewal Association" is: for couples to be gained by the Lord, used by the Lord, and then build a beautiful family in the kingdom of God.

The course design of the Loving Couples Camp is to use biblical teachings to help couples further understand each other's differences, thereby increasing mutual understanding and understanding, so that there will be fewer and fewer differences between couples and more and more areas of agreement. . Usually after the three-day and two-night camp course ends, the couple needs to attend a follow-up meeting once a month for ten months to repeatedly practice what they learned in the camp course and let new living habits replace the old ones. mode of interaction.

In my many years of experience in ministry, my wife and I have seen that the two-way combination of "camp" and "follow-up meetings" can achieve long-lasting effects on the relationship between husband and wife. As mentioned before, the love between a husband and wife cannot be achieved only once and for all. It is a first-aid medicine, but it is necessary to continue to absorb nutrients in life and provide nutrients for the common life, so that the marriage will continue to heat up.

"Couple Advanced Camp MER2" is to help couples whose relationship has been improved in the "Loving Couple Camp" to learn more about walking with God. In church teachings, there are few teachings specifically designed for couples to practice together spiritually, practice together in ministry, and seek together in prayer. The "Couple's In-depth Camp" focuses on the deepening of the relationship between the two and their relationship with God, and establishes a spiritual intimacy with the Lord and the three of them. This course is also three days and two nights, followed by a ten-month follow-up course.

▲Lovely couple MER1 follow-up group.

The deepening of ministry: Across national boundaries and age, holiness covenants start from the young

Looking back on the past ten years of service, our sons and daughters are growing up from elementary school and middle school to college. As parents, we often think about how to teach our children what they have received before God so that they can also get married. Blessed on the way.

At the end of 2013, we were very honored to be invited by Elder Fan Dasheng and Teacher Qian Zhiyu of "European Campus Ministry" to go to Germany during the Christmas holiday for a short-term New Year's training, targeting young Chinese students studying there, focusing on "making friends and preparing for Shared on the topic "Entering Marriage".

My treasure trove of resources, and also my beloved wife, Jingfen, specially designed a special course for this conference, aiming to teach young people to truly understand themselves, understand God’s divine plan for marriage, and further understand their own future marriage. There should be some planning.

This youth growth singles camp was held for the first time in "European Campus Ministry", with a large number of international students participating. My wife insisted on teaching the young people to make holy intentions before God, so we specially arranged a night in the course as a ceremony to make a holy covenant.

In the afternoon before the ceremony, I always felt that the students were not prepared and I was deeply afraid of causing an awkward atmosphere in the venue. However, because my wife insisted, I finally chose to support her. I realized in that moment that my wife was more spiritually sensitive than I was in many things, so I worked with her willingly and with one heart, and God did wonderful things through the Holy Spirit. Similar experiences have occurred more than once. When a husband and wife are of one mind and submit to the Lord's leadership together, it can bring great blessings to their lives and marriage.

▲Members participating in family ministry learn to open themselves up during the activities.

The vision of the ministry: God’s favored couples are for the Lord, and Christ’s discipleship brings prosperity to thousands of families

In recent years, feeling that brothers and sisters in the church have urgent needs at different levels in their relationships as husband and wife, parents and children, and elders, our husband and wife began to participate in translation ministry and also completed our seminary degrees. No matter we are in high mountains or low valleys, God always leads us step by step according to our strength, and we are grateful to God for this.

We are certainly still learning, and marriage and family ministry is a ministry that requires long-term commitment. On such a long journey, I thank God for always giving me and my wife a suitable spiritual mentor to guide us when we are ready. We firmly believe that the Creator who loves us will be gracious to brothers and sisters who are willing to devote themselves to such ministry. If a couple can connect with God and walk hand in hand on the road to heaven, it will not only be extremely beautiful, but it will also be the most precious gift in this life!

Yang Binggang·Xu Jingfencouple
Brother Yang Binggang graduated from National Cheng Kung University in Taiwan and Rutgers State University in New Jersey, majoring in environmental engineering. He completed a master's degree in Christian theology from Zhengdao Theological Seminary in May 2018 and currently works in a pharmaceutical factory. He is a co-leader of the "Loving Couples Camp" of the "Family Renewal Association" in the New Jersey area of the United States. He is a qualified facilitator in the "FOCCUS Premarital Counseling" training and has the third-level leader qualification of "JTI".
Sister Xu Jingfen graduated from the Church and Community Service Department of Tainan Theological Seminary in Taiwan. She has a professional training background in "social work". She served as a church care preacher and participated in church development, church planting and youth ministry. Together with her husband, she participates in children's, small group, marriage and family ministries, and works with her husband through Sunday school and lectures in various churches.