The church is the home, the home is the church

The Construction and Practice of Family Ministry 3-3

Oral narration and pictures/Preacher Li Yitian (Timmy Ong)

Interview/Lin Minwen, Zheng Qiongyu‧Compilation/Zheng Qiongyu

Li Yitian and her husband Wang Hao accepted the call in 2011 to establish a family ministry at the Chinese Christian Church in Columbia. They started with no experience and "from zero to spirit". Over the years, they have adhered to the principles given by God and "step by step" Towards mission". In this article, she talks about the couple’s growth along the way; the cooperation among the iron triangle of churches, institutions, and seminaries; the reference steps and precautions for establishing a family ministry, etc. Their three children also shared how moved they were by their parents’ involvement in family ministry.

▲The seminary study provided Li Yitian with abundant ministry resources. The picture shows a photo with her husband and daughter at the graduation ceremony of the master's class in 2022.

Husband and wife serve together

Li Yitian and Wang Hao live in Ohio, in the midwestern United States. Although the couple has long heard about the loving couples camps of the Family Renewal Association (Jiaxin for short), most of these camps are held on the West Coast of the United States, where Chinese people gather. In 2009, the Loving Couples Camp in Detroit, Michigan came to Ohio for the first time. They and a total of 12 couples from the Columbia church drove long distances to participate.

That was the first time that Li Yitian and Wang Hao saw husband and wife become one, serving together on the podium, and they were very envious in their hearts. After returning home, the two prayed to God: If God allows, please give us the opportunity to receive equipment and serve together. Soon after, the church’s senior pastor invited them to start a family ministry. God had placed the burden of family ministry on the hearts of pastors at that time and observed that they were suitable co-workers. After praying, the couple clearly understood that this was God's call. Although they had no experience, they still accepted the challenge with faith.

After taking over as the director of the family ministry, they began to receive training in leading couples at the Loving Couples Camp. Since 2010, they have been leading the Loving Couples Camp in Detroit twice a year. The children were still young at the time, but the camp stipulated that only couples could participate, so in the years before the children entered middle school, they had to ask relatives and friends to help take care of them every time. The children saw with their own eyes the growth and changes of their parents in the service, and they were very supportive and always said, "Don't worry, we will take care of you."

There are many challenges when a husband and wife serve together; one of them focuses on details, the other on outlines, speaking at different speeds, matching body language, etc., which are all challenges. But the hard work is worth it. They found that working together as a couple can really get twice the result with half the effort, so they applied this model to the church’s family ministry. In addition to single-parent and singles ministry, all other projects invite couples to serve together.

Iron Triangle: Church, Institution, Seminary

Li Yitian emphasized the importance of the iron triangle composed of churches, institutions, and seminaries to family ministry, and explained how this iron triangle cooperates, hoping to achieve a multiplier effect.

At the beginning, family ministry was like a blank piece of paper for Li Yitian, and she didn’t know what elements to fill in. She searched the Internet for the keyword "family ministry" and found examples such as Family Renewal Association, International True Love Family Association, Focus on the Family (and its Chinese branch Love the Family Association), Love and Conflict Reconciliation Ministry, Living, and Far East Broadcasting Family Discipleship , messenger training, American Certificate Owners Association... and other institutions. After identifying urgently needed projects, such as premarital counseling, she also searched online for related courses provided by organizations, such as Prepare-Enrich and FOCCUS' premarital negotiation tools.

Li Yitian emphasized that family ministry requires the introduction of different resources into the church. “The advantage of the institution is that it has many resources, such as books, courses, lecturers, etc., while the seminary has a solid theological foundation. Institutions and seminaries are very helpful for me to engage in family ministry. Important. "For example, the relevant teaching materials provided by the organization are equivalent to using experts to help members; during the Family Month lectures, organizations and seminaries are important resources for finding speakers.

When speakers are invited to give lectures during Family Month, the church has the opportunity to build a deeper understanding and connection with them. Lectures held by institutions, seminaries and churches can also let churches know about their ministries, courses, books, magazines, radio, etc., providing Christians with more opportunities to absorb rich materials. The church can also support institutions and seminaries through donations. The three of them help each other, and the connection between them can snowball, getting bigger and bigger.

She said: "Institutions have resources, but they usually don't have flocks; churches have flocks, but they need resources. Family ministry can be like a bridge to connect the two. The same is true for seminaries. The strength of seminaries is truth teaching, but The service targets are often limited to pastors and seminarians. By cooperating with the church’s family ministry, the strengths of the seminary can be promoted and applied in the lives of ordinary believers.”

Right Way Theological Seminary is currently developing a church version of family ministry (les.edu/fmt), using the teachers and courses of the seminary to accompany and support churches that intend to establish family ministries. Not only do seminaries support the church, but theological students majoring in family ministry also need practical experience to become a helper according to the needs of the church and create a win-win situation. In addition, seminaries and institutions can also connect each other’s resources by holding seminars together.

Deepening spiritual life and broadening service

After Li Yitian learned that Zhengdao Theological Seminary offered a degree in family ministry, she seized the opportunity of remote and synchronous teaching in the cloud. At that time, a thought in her mind pushed her to move forward bravely: "Four or five years have passed by in a flash. Start studying now. In five years, you can complete your degree and serve God more effectively." In addition to her busy family and service responsibilities, she has been Take two courses per semester and complete a master's degree in family ministry in 2022 in five years.

Because the school's online course software and hardware are very well set up, even if the class is held remotely, the interactions, discussions, and questions between her and the instructor, online classmates, and on-site classmates are all smooth and real-time, as if she is in the classroom. The seminary focuses on spiritual formation, and requires students to take many basic theological courses and study the Bible with awe.

The seminary experience deepened her life. For example, when taking the minor prophets, she discovered that in the Lamentations of Jeremiah, God did not say a word, but allowed the people to complain and lament. But after they express their bitterness, they often usher in a change of direction. When studying "Spiritual Life Formation", Pastor Liu Fuli asked his classmates to write letters to Jesus every day. Li Yitian still maintains this habit to this day, seeing Jesus first every morning before doing anything else.

After Li Yitian received his degree, he still devoted himself to family ministry, but his attitude in serving was no longer the same. "I used to use the Bible to serve God, but now I let the Bible use me to serve God." In the past, wherever she talked, she would take a verse from the Bible to support her point of view; now she lets the Bible use her and follows the Bible's teachings. Context serves the family of the church. She said happily: "God gave me two gifts through the seminary, one is the deepening of spiritual life, and the other is the broadening of service."

She has extensively studied theories on family ministry, human development, different caring and counseling methods, as well as ethical issues such as abortion, euthanasia, and homosexuality. These are real issues that arise when engaging in family ministry.

She also learned many important skills from seminary teachers that can be applied in ministry, such as how to develop Sunday school teaching materials or special workshops based on good books; use relevant research data; create down-to-earth and applicable group discussion topics, and Interactive elements such as experiential games; using audio and video to illustrate the topic... These trainings helped her ground the teachings of the Bible and convey the truth in a vivid and flexible way.

The connections and cooperation among classmates are also wonderful. Students who study part-time usually have experience in family ministry. Li Yitian seems to have access to a huge resource library, and he can establish connections, cooperate and share resources with his classmates outside the classroom, and exchange knowledge. The connections she established in the seminary helped her bring the iron triangle of churches, institutions, and seminaries closer together, which not only enriched her life, but also became a solid backing for her service.

Li Yitian has served in the field of family ministry for more than 11 years, and has experienced ups and downs along the way. "On the road to family ministry, God is the lamp before my feet and the light on the road. Every step I take illuminates each step. He does not let me look at it for a moment. Clear the scenery of the whole road."

Counting past graces, Li Yitian said from the bottom of his heart: "No matter what activities are launched, the ultimate goal is to bring people to Jesus. Only the gospel and salvation can truly change people's hearts. If your life has not changed, no matter how many activities you participate in, it will not matter." You can’t really change. When you encounter problems in service and feel that you can’t do it, you must come back to Jesus.”

She hopes to equip parents and children to have more spiritual interactions in the family, not only bringing the children to the church, but also bringing the church back to the family; "The church is the home, and the home is the church" was the goal of family ministry in the past. It will also be the direction that she and her husband have been working hard.

Reminders and Suggestions for Starting a Family Ministry

1. God gives a vision. The most important thing is God’s intention for the church. The Holy Spirit inspires the senior pastor of the church to see the vision for the ministry, and then the senior pastor invites couples with potential to be responsible.
2. Pray persistently. The scope and targets of the ministry are wide and require dedicated prayer and seeking. If God has supplied all the requirements, resources, and manpower indicators, then proceed.
3. Think about what mission God has entrusted to the church. Vision provides the general direction, while mission focuses on the goals of the ministry.
4. Invite co-workers. Most of the couples who are willing to participate in the ministry have participated in the Loving Couples Camp. This may be because couples who are willing to pay the price to attend camp often have a commitment to family ministry.
5. Set up ministry representatives in fellowships and small groups to understand and promptly report the actual needs of members.
6. Work together and work together. The team prays together, receives training, builds common goals and trusts each other.
7. Apply for funds from the church and set up a family month. Invite experts who can complement the pastor’s teachings. The sooner you invite speakers, the better. When contacting an agency, you may not always hear back quickly. Don’t be discouraged, knock on doors everywhere, God will definitely open the most suitable door at the most suitable time.
8. Ask the senior pastor to introduce the mission and projects of family ministry to the whole church.
9. Always seek advice from the senior pastor, determine the direction of the ministry, and become the pastor’s help. Horizontally, we need to cooperate with other departments of the church and avoid working alone.
10. Try your best to communicate and never give up easily. When a new ministry is established in a church, members may have different opinions. God will definitely protect the call that comes from God. As long as you don’t give up, rely on God’s guidance, and try your best to communicate different opinions.
11. Refer extensively to family ministries in other churches. Setting up the resource table was inspired by other churches.
12. When the time is right, you can go into schools and communities to hold lectures and activities, and you can also help other churches to establish family ministries.

Come with the whole family

Li Yitian’s three children share their feelings and deep memories of their parents’ participation in family ministry

• Watching my parents positively impact my family in church reinforced the positive impact my family has on me. Not only do they run their own families, they actively work to uplift other families. Seeing parents form a team, working together and working hard for a common goal, taught me by example the importance of communication, trust, and cooperation.
I remember when I was young, I would often go to church to help my mother make small gifts on the day before Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and other large events. It was a great experience to have the opportunity to help my mom with something she was passionate about. The next day at the event, I felt so happy to see the finished product that I had worked hard on the day before bring smiles, joy, and hugs to the participating families.

• Rather than saying that my parents’ relationship with me was positively affected by their involvement in family ministry, I would say that it was their commitment to their own family that burdened them with serving other families in the church.
My parents always prioritized our relationship with our three children, spending a lot of time alone with each child or arranging family gatherings. For example, our family goes camping with church friends every year; we go to the restaurant for late-night snacks after fellowship on Friday nights; they also have lunch or dinner with us alone to make sure they have established a connection with each child. They practice what they preach about their family and their ministry.

• As parents involved in family ministry, we are constantly evaluating our family dynamics and the way they parent. Witnessing our parents take responsibility for their actions inspired the three of us to have a deeper understanding of our important roles in the family.
A cherished memory is going to Malaysia as a missionary with my parents. Witnessing that my parents' words and deeds are consistent while serving is also a lesson worth learning for me throughout my life. My family’s dedication to serving inspired me to find ways to serve the community in my own life!

Respondents
Li Yitian Preacher (Timmy Ong), Master of Family Ministry from True Evangelical Theological Seminary. Dedicated to children’s ministry for 38 years, he and his husband Dennis Wang founded the family ministry of Columbia Chinese Christian Church in 2010. The couple is the couple’s director of the Loving Couple Camp of the Family Renewal Association, a certified premarital counselor, and a member of the American Family Loving Association. "Youth Without Regrets" certified teacher and a special co-worker of the training ministry of the Christian Messengers Association. They have three adult children.