Create life through coaching
Have fellow pastors and pastors ever fallen into the following dilemmas:
1. After many years of pastoring, do you often find it difficult to shepherd the congregation?
2. Spending a lot of time with church members, but often without results?
3. Pastoral care and pastoral work have exhausted a lot of energy and you often feel tired?
4. When a member of the church comes to complain to you about family problems, do you think it is difficult for an upright official to resolve household affairs, or do you just tell him the teachings of the Bible and everything will be fine?
5. If someone among the members is a homosexual, a reformed person, or a sex worker, should the pastor (or members) accept him?
6. Do you think your friend is weird, but you don’t know that he has symptoms of depression, yet you keep telling him to always be happy, but his condition has not improved?
7. Do you feel that members have high expectations for pastors, like a 7/11 convenience store that has to cope with and meet the needs of members at any time?
8. Do you think there should be clear boundaries between church members and the pastor, so that each should shoulder its responsibilities?
9. Serving with zeal but no good results? How do you speak?
10. Is it enough to just teach friends to read the Bible and pray?
If you often fall into the above dilemma, have you tried different pastoral methods? From an organizational point of view, coaching is the future trend. Former GE CEO Jack Welch said: "The greatest leader is a first-class coach." Coaching is one of the abilities that a leader should possess. Coaching ability is an essential element for catalyzing the organization, and coaching leadership is one of the keys to organizational reform. one.
▲ "To Coach" means "to lead a person with value and potential from reality to goal."
What is coaching?
In the 15th century, coach meant a four-wheeled carriage that carried people from point A to point B in a comfortable manner. The verb "To Coach" refers to "leading a person with value and potential from reality to goal."
In 1889, there was no official coaching title in the sports world. Why can excellent coaches inspire unknown players to reach the pinnacle of competition through long-term training? On the other hand, a coach may not be able to play ball, run faster, or swim better than the players, but why can he be a coach? Because coaches have the insight to recognize heroes and understand principles, principles, methods and techniques, as well as motivational methods.
By the 1990s, the American business community was inspired by coaches in the sports world and began to apply the concept of coaching to the leadership and management level, achieving initial results. Seeing that subordinates can improve their self-awareness and realize their personal potential, managers can stimulate their team's potential and enhance their competitiveness. Since then, the coach has further borrowed the theories and techniques of psychological counseling, but instead of focusing on counseling or psychotherapy, more emphasis has been placed on examining the current situation and future actions.
Jenny Rogers, a well-known British business coach, said: "The coach helps the coachee to achieve rapid, more and sustainable results through learning. And during the interaction, the coach concentrates Committed to developing the potential of the trainees. 》1
▲The famous British business coach Jenny Rogers said: "The coach helps the coachee to obtain rapid, more and sustainable results through learning. And in the process of interaction, the coach Dedicated to developing the potential of the trainees.”
What functions does a coach have?
The coach does not provide answers to the coachee, but through the process of talking with the coach, clarify the problem, be aware of the hidden assumptions in the heart, use the existing strengths and resources, stimulate positive thinking to solve the problem, and make decisions from the heart Make decisions about self-commitment and put them into action.
A coach is like a farmer, who is responsible for planting and watering during the coaching process. As 1 Corinthians 3:6-7 says, "I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave it the growth. So he who planted, It is nothing, not even the one who waters it, but God who gives it the growth.”
Coaching takes the concept of "development" as God builds us through the process of life development. “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10). “…grow up to the full stature of Christ,” (see Ephesians 4:13).
"Development" in psychology refers to the ongoing interaction between an organism and its environment. However, no behavior develops solely through maturation or learning.
▲A coach is like a farmer, responsible for planting and watering during the coaching process.
God has given each of us different talents so that our talents can develop freely. Ken Robinson & Lou Aronica point out in The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything (2009) that we must live out our destiny. Destiny refers to what you like to do and what you are good at doing. What you like to do is your interest, and what you are good at is your ability (aptitude). Do the pastors and co-workers help co-workers or members find their destiny according to God’s ordination?
Coaching focuses on "change". Without change, nothing will happen! Change is inevitable, and the process of growth is the miracle of change.
▲Ken Robinson & Lou Aronica point out in "Let Your Gift Be Free" that we must live out our destiny.
What are some coaching skills?
appreciative orientation
Appreciation is not flattery or superficial words, but a response from the heart that sees objective facts. “Let no evil word proceed out of your mouth, but only such things as are good for edification as the occasion demands, that they may benefit those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29) “The mouth of a wise man speaks grace.” (Ecclesiastes 10) :12)
Focus and listen
In communication and interaction, we often think that "hearing" equals "understanding". “Therefore I spoke to them in parables, because they see but cannot see, hear cannot hear, and cannot understand.” (Matthew 13:13) There is a distance from hearing to understanding. True listening means catching and understanding the message communicated by the person involved, whether it is spoken (verbal) or physical (non-verbal), clear (I am very happy) or vague (I am fine).
We are often good at teaching others, and we like to teach others before they have finished listening. This is often where we make mistakes accidentally. For people who really know how to communicate, being able to understand what others say is more important than what they say themselves.
Have empathy
多數人了解同理心就是設身處地站在對方的立場想。亞瑟．喬拉米卡利和凱瑟琳．柯茜（Arthur P. Ciaramicoli & Katherine Ketcham）對同理心有其獨特的看法：「作一個能施展同理心的人，比擁有同理心的技術更重要，同理心包括準確地理解他人的情緒，並在回應時重視每個獨一無二的個人與情境。同理心是一種能深入他人的內心與靈魂，了解他們的思想、感知、情緒的能力。」Notes
Use open-ended questions
Questions designed to invite the person to clarify or explore an idea or feeling. Allow the parties to explore their own problems in multiple aspects. The functions of open-ended questions are: 1. Extend your thoughts and think about what is important; 2. Fully express what you want to express; 3. Be non-judgmental and show that you respect other people’s opinions; 4. Let the other person use their own words to talk about them. insights; 5. Collect information, enhance mutual understanding, and establish harmonious relationships.
Read the four Gospels carefully and look at the conversations between Jesus and his disciples. When the disciples didn't understand something, they would ask Jesus. Sometimes Jesus would not answer the question directly, but would ask the disciples to think about it and find the answer by themselves. Here are a few examples:
1. Luke 12:41-48:
Peter said, "Lord, is this parable for us, or for all the people?" The Lord said, "Who is the faithful and wise steward, whom his master has put over those in his household, to give them their food in due season? "When the master comes and sees his servant doing this, he will be blessed. Truly I say to you, the Master will put him in charge of all that he has.
2. Luke 10:25-37:
(The scribes) stood up and tested Jesus, saying, "Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
Jesus said to him, "What is written in the law? How do you read it?"
He answered, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind; and you shall love your neighbor as yourself."
Jesus said, "You answered, If you do this, you will have eternal life."
The man wanted to show that he was right, so he said to Jesus, "Who is my neighbor?"
Jesus answered and said to them, "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him half to death, and then left him. By chance a priest came down this road. When he saw him, he passed by on the other side. And a certain Levite came to the place, and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, who was traveling on the road, came to the place and was moved with compassion when he saw him. He poured oil and wine on his wound, tied it up, put him on his own animal, and took him to the inn to take care of him. The next day he took out two denarii and gave it to the innkeeper, saying: Take care of him, and I will repay you any additional expenses when I return. Do you think any of these three is a neighbor who fell into the hands of a robber?"
He said, "It was mercy on him."
Jesus said: Go and do likewise.
If you rewrite the previous situation into a modern version, imagine what it means:
Subordinates ask: "How much performance should I achieve to win recognition and respect?"
The boss answered him: "What are the relevant regulations of the company? How much do you understand?"
The subordinate replied: "You must love your job with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind and work hard to perform; you must also care about the efforts and performance of your colleagues as you do yourself."
The boss said: "Your answer is; if you do this, you will win recognition and respect."
The subordinate wanted to show that he was right, so he said to his boss, "Who is my colleague?"
A colleague transferred from one department to another and was bullied by his colleagues in the new unit. They treated him with indifference, showed no concern for his adjustment problems, and left him to fend for himself. Occasionally, a department manager passed by the office and turned around to leave when he saw him. Another senior colleague came to this department and turned away when he saw him. Only a colleague who had nothing to do with his business happened to pass by and saw that he was depressed, so he cared about him, stepped forward to understand his difficulties (oil) and dealt with his injured emotions (wine), and after comforting and supporting him, he helped him stick to his job. position and brought it to the human resources department to take care of him.
The next day, he still came to take care of him and told the human resources department, "You take care of him. If there are other needs, I will take care of them."
The boss asked: "Which one of these three people do you think is the one who cares about his colleagues?"
The subordinate said: "I am willing to care about my new colleagues."
The boss said, "Just go ahead and do the same!"
What Jesus did, you can do too! From the scriptures, we see that Jesus showed several examples: no blame (attitude), no anger (emotion), timely guidance (timing), good at asking questions (clarification), using metaphors (understanding), leading by example (compassion), and clear instructions (teaching) ).
▲Coaching ability is an essential element for catalyzing an organization, and coaching leadership is one of the keys to organizational change.
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!
Faith is the source of power.
After the publication of the coaching book, I was invited to travel to Japan, the United States, Malaysia and other places on both sides of the Taiwan Strait to share my practical experience in coaching. The professional theory and faith background can be applied in different fields, such as parenting (see "COACH Parenting"). 》), leadership training in enterprises or government departments, non-profit organizations, finance or churches, etc., you can see the benefits of learning and application.
Today's coaching development is directed towards the education sector (the UK is the most common country in the world where training teachers and applying coaches to improve students' academic performance and self-confidence), career development and planning (career coaching), and hospital systems (European and American countries train medical staff to apply coaches. (Improve the doctor-patient relationship), and even pastors of European and American churches use coaches to build churches and lead groups (pastoral coaching).
For many years, I have been serving professionally as a workplace minister. I have traveled here and there. Although it is very physically demanding, I am very energetic. Where does this power come from? Comes from a calling from God, a clear role, and an inner passion. The Greek word for enthusiasm (enthusiasm) means "God is within. Enthusiasm inspires people, God is within, and the spirit is within." This is why we never tire of it!
▲In the 1990s, the American corporate world was inspired by coaches in the sports world and began to apply the concept of coaching to the leadership and management level. The picture shows the coaching leadership course led by the author in Taiwan.
Finally, I share my belief in professional service: an attitude based on "love" - "If I can speak in the tongues of all people and the words of angels, but do not have love, I will become a sounding gong and a clanging cymbal. Normally. If I have the power of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and have all knowledge, and have perfect faith, so that I can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing if I give all that I have. To give to the poor, and to give one's body to be burned, without love, does not profit me...if faith, hope, and love abide all these three, the greatest of which is love." 13:1-3, 13), plus the power of positive words - "The tongue of a wise man is healing." (Proverbs 12:18) "A soft answer turns away wrath. ... A gentle tongue It is a tree of life” (Proverbs 15:1, 4).
Notes: http://jennyrogerscoaching.com/index.html
Dr. Chen Henglin, is an associate professor at Kunshan University of Science and Technology in Taiwan and the founder and dean of Peiying International Coaching Leadership Academy; he has a counseling psychologist certificate and a coaching qualification from the California government certification organization.