Raising a Godly Next Generation
“This generation will praise your deeds to the next generation, and they will proclaim your mighty power.”
(Psalm 145:4)
godly family
A God-fearing family, that is, a godly family, is pleasing to God. The relationship between husband and wife and the upbringing of children in a godly family is a lifelong learning process. Although single parents have a heavier burden, they can still raise godly offspring (for example, the author described Ms. Chen Zhiniang in the article "Transmitting Faith and Life from Generation to Generation" in issue 51 of this magazine).
The ways to raise godly future generations include teaching by example and teaching by words. Both are important, but actual experience has proven that teaching by example is more important than teaching by words, while teaching by words is about practice. "I have no greater joy than this when I hear that my children walk in the truth." (3 John verse 4) When parents educate their children in harmony with their words and deeds, this is a sign of honesty and integrity. Instruction by example and words can cultivate children's upright character and is also the way to blessing, as Psalm 128:1 says: "Blessed are those who fear the Lord and keep his ways!"
If parents’ words and deeds are inconsistent and they do not follow God’s ways, their children will not listen to their parents’ teachings. For example, if parents want their children to read the Bible and pray every day, but they cannot do it themselves, they have no position to demand their children. The author has experience of failure in front of children. When my daughter was in middle school, she once called me a "hypocrite." Another time, when I was talking to my daughter, she unkindly called me an "atheist Christian." This was a very serious accusation—I had been a Christian for more than ten years at that time, but in the eyes of my daughter, I was actually an atheist Christian. My son also criticized my shortcomings very bluntly. The accusations made by my children and my wife made me deeply reflect and repent. Only family members can truly understand your strengths and weaknesses, correct them without hiding anything, and help you grow.
When our children grow up and have children of their own, our relationship with our children and grandchildren becomes very good. It is because we often reflect on ourselves, confess our sins and renew ourselves before God, and make up for the discord and alienation between parents and children that we are as good as we are now. result.
If parents fail to teach their children, or if they themselves do not practice the ways of God, their children will most likely be lost from the kingdom of God in the future. We have found that if the parents are godly, the rate of their children being godly is also higher. However, many middle school students who grew up in Christian families leave God and no longer attend church after entering college. The attrition rate of Christian youth in the United States is between 67% and 88%. After graduating from college, only 28% of young people aged 23 to 27 attend church. 1
The reasons for the loss of teenagers include: loss of relationships (losing friendships or not knowing how to make new friends after changing addresses, etc.), loneliness (facing a new environment and not knowing how to find a suitable spiritual home), but the biggest reason is the relationship with God Not firm. This is related to the parenting style. In the United States, teenagers who attend Christian universities are more likely to avoid losing faith, but it still depends on their relationship with God.
▲Participating in church fellowship will have a positive impact on your children’s future friendships.
How should couples raise their children together?
1. Concentricity and Consistency
When it comes to raising children, it is important for husband and wife to work together. Proverbs 6:20 says, "My son, keep the commandments of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother...for commandments are lamps, and law is light, and reproof is the word of life." It means parents. We must teach together and "discuss with each other and unite the front." If you are a single parent, you must also have consistent principles in upbringing.
2. Teaching according to age
Demonstrate this to your children when they are young, such as reading before going to bed. Young children have very good memories. Reading with them every night before bedtime, in addition to some interesting picture books, also includes children's Bible stories, it would be better if the children can memorize verses.
In addition, I learned from my daughter’s parenting experience that parents should prioritize spending time with their children. One time, my daughter's youngest was bored at home and asked her mother to play games with him. At that time, my daughter was working on a project draft, so she perfunctorily told her son to wait a moment, but she soon realized that she immediately put down her work and played with her son for a few minutes. The child was very satisfied and stopped disturbing his mother and went to play by himself. . If the daughter had continued to work at that time, she would have been interrupted by her son's requests from time to time, which would have been a waste of time. Parents should cherish the time they spend playing with their children. Many children no longer like playing with their parents after entering primary school or middle school!
3. Discuss with your child
You should respect your children just like you treat your friends, discuss everything carefully, and be your children's best friend and partner. For children who are shorter than adults, especially young children, adults should bend down or squat down when speaking to them. This is also an attitude of respect for the younger generation.
4. Pay attention to listening and communication
Parents should pay attention to the way they communicate with their children and avoid using a lecturing tone. Remember to use discipline as a supportive method rather than a punitive tool; when your children are older, avoid corporal punishment, especially when they are angry. It is necessary to control language and avoid harshly blaming children. Praise rather than blame should be used so that children can learn their mistakes and correct them, and have a positive attitude. "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and admonition of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4) 2
5. Family altar
Many devout Christian families have family altars. The whole family gathers together every night or regularly to read the Bible and pray. This is the best way to teach their children the truth. (The author often traveled on business when my children were growing up, and I did not do this, and I still feel very regretful). Preaching the gospel to our children so that they have the hope of eternal life is the top priority. We can call it the "first button principle", which is to know that the purpose of life is to glorify God and enjoy God (see Corinthians 1 Titus 10:31 and Romans 5:11), when we take care of God’s kingdom first, God will take care of our worldly needs (see Matthew 6:33). Proverbs 14:26 also says: “The fear of the Lord is a great confidence, and his children have a refuge.” Proverbs 4:13 instructs us: “Take hold of the instruction and do not slacken it; you must keep it, for it It's your life."
6. Worship and serve together
Joshua Chapter 24:15 should be the heartbeat of every Christian: “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” We must help our children develop the habit of worshiping God on Sundays from an early age, and be willing to do so on Sundays. Looking forward to going to church. During the teenage years (middle and high school), friends are most needed. Lead your children to participate in the church’s youth group. Because of their peer relationships, they naturally like to go to church. In addition to worshiping God, they also meet with friends. If you force your children to attend church, not only will the effect be limited, but it will also easily lead to the children becoming disgusted with the church and losing them after they go to college.
7. Choose friendly friends
When children are growing up, making friends is very important. Participating in the church’s youth group and children’s Sunday school will have a positive impact on your children’s future friendships. When children are growing up and later in the workplace, they should be encouraged to find good friends and mentors who can help them grow. Parents should also encourage their children to seek consultation when they encounter decision-making problems. The children's guidance friends, school teachers, and church pastors are all candidates for consultation. "Whoever walks with wise people will gain wisdom; but whoever keeps company with fools will suffer loss." (Proverbs 13:20)
8. Aptitude test
In high school, when faced with choosing a college, it is best to conduct an aptitude test for your child. High schools in the United States have these services to help children find schools that suit their talents and interests, as well as future careers. There are also some tests on the market, some are free and some require payment, and they are all worth your reference. Both Crown Financial Ministries of the United States and Crown Faith Association of Taiwan provide paid career planning aptitude tests (Career Direct), which are designed using biblical principles. Readers may consider using them (Taiwan www.crown.org.tw/12; United States www.careerdirectonline.org /). USA Crown also offers a free Personality ID, but it is different from the more comprehensive career guidance test mentioned above (www.careerdirectonline.org/personalityID/).
▲Parents should respect their children and look into their eyes when talking to young children. If they can bend down and squat down, their children will be able to feel that their parents value them more.
Be a good, faithful and wise steward
"Children are an inheritance from the Lord; the womb is a reward from Him." (Psalm 127:3) God is the owner of our children's lives. It is He who entrusts our children to the management of our parents, and we are just stewards. Therefore, we must have a kind and loyal attitude and manage our families, marriages and children knowledgeably.
Before passing on your worldly possessions to your descendants, you must first pass on your spiritual possessions—the way of life and faith—to your children. At the same time, you must teach your children how to use biblical principles to manage money. The purpose is to glorify God and benefit others, because money is also Belongs to God. (In this regard, please refer to the relevant works and articles in Note 3.)
As parents, the most important thing is to pass on the faith of eternal life to the next generation. This is the way to be blessed by God. We as parents all have experience of failure or have not done well enough, but if we can recognize our mistakes and repent, serve faithfully before God, and educate our children, I believe God will bless us greatly.
Note:
1. Several sources: reachrightstudios.com/9-important-church-statistics-2017/; www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2014/may/dropouts-and-disciples-how-many-students-are-really- leaving.html; coldcasechristianity.com/2017/are-young-people-really-leaving-christianity/
2. See Wen Yingqian, "60 Sentences to Praise Your Family," originally published in "True Love Magazine" Issue 37, September 2007, on the website ykwen.blogspot.com/2008/05/60.html.
3. See Wen Yingqian, "12 Required Lessons to Enjoy Financial Freedom", Taiwan Crown True Taoist Association, published in December 2017. (Order crowns in Taiwan at crown.org.tw; in the U.S. at afcinc.org) or refer to Wen Yingqian, "Financial Management and Giving after God's Intention," "Ambassador Magazine" November-December 2014, website www.ambassadorsmagazine. org/category articles/theory and discussion/financial management and dedication in line with God’s will-Wen Yingqian/. (Biblical principles of financial management and how to achieve financial freedom so that you have more resources to serve God)
Wen Yingqian is an honorary professor at Donghua University in Taiwan. Kingdom Resources is the chairman of the board of directors of the Christian Association and the editor of the talent unit of "Kingdom of God Magazine".