Talking about "seduction" from the Lin Yihan incident

Box text/Zheng Qiongyu, Wu Xinhui

▲In the exclusive talk about his final death, Lin Yihan said: "Is it possible that art has always been just rhetoric?" (Picture from the Internet)

The suicide of the beautiful writer Lin Yihan that occurred in Taiwan a few months ago was reported by the media and spread on the Internet, causing many people on both sides of the Taiwan Strait to lament and lament.

In particular, she has just published the novel "Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise", which has already been read five times before it was released. She is a beautiful writer with potential. Eight days before his suicide, he conducted an exclusive interview for a publishing house. In the camera, he quietly and movingly told his original intention of writing a book, as well as the short-lived smile that appeared before the break, and his outstanding temperament came over him. .

She said that what she wanted to present in the book was love, literature and beauty, and she did not want the whole book to just tell a story "about a girl being seduced or raped." Obviously, if we stay here, it will be too much like a news event disclosed by ordinary newspapers, and it will become another victim statistic in society.

Girl falls in love with seducer

She wanted to say, "This is a story about a girl falling in love with a seducer. There is a word love in it. It can be said that Siqi is destined to be destroyed and cannot look back. It is precisely because of her heart Full of tenderness, she has desire, she has love, and she even has sex in her heart at the end.”

But "falling in love with the seducer" itself is actually the result of "seduction". What this book reveals is not true "love", but the "hurt" caused by seduction. Because seduction involves the child being led into a relationship that ultimately leads to disillusionment. In the end, the seducer will definitely leave, but the child will always be stuck in the relationship and will never have difficulty in life.

Regardless of whether Lin Yihan was 13 years old as mentioned in the book or 18 years old as mentioned in reality, he was seduced by a teacher. He had a vague sexual consciousness, an unformed self, and no awakening to physical experience, that is, his body boundaries were violated. For young girls, guilt and hatred mixed with love are common confusing feelings. This is why Lin Yihan lived in a "black hole of the soul invisible to ordinary people" all his life, struggled hard with mental illness, and finally gave up and hanged himself.

In fact, the key to "seduction" lies in the word "lure". An adult full of social experience often has a clear understanding of the needs of minor children. If you are willing, provide candy or food, or give the child the attention, appreciation and recognition that it lacks, and the willing person will take the bait.

For a child who lives in an alienated family or whose parents are absent, this is the most common seduction technique: "I am the only one in the world who understands your needs best and can see your importance!" This is how many online perverts turn lonely people into children. Girls who hang out online every day looking for spiritual sustenance are deceived.

However, judging from Lin Yihan's active middle school life record, she has participated in the volleyball school team, edited a newspaper, had excellent test scores, and is both literary and martial arts. She is considered a smart girl with a flexible mind and lively personality. To lure such a girl, love, literature, beauty, and sexual enlightenment can be said to be the advanced bait for her to be lured into a relationship.

Literature is the religion and salvation of life that many people pursue. Many people fall in love with literary people because they devote themselves to the literature they love. When they get close to literary people, they think that they can enter the palace of literature. What kind of illusion is this? In the book "The Temple of the Golden Pavilion", Yukio Mishima used the experience of the protagonist Mizoguchi to say that "there is a dark place in the beauty." Too many young girls pursue literary masters, but fall into the darkness of beauty and die.

In her final conversation about her death, Lin Yi, half meditating and half gesticulating with her hands, sincerely expressed what the book discusses: "Could it be that art has always been just about words and expressions?" and explained that her "act of writing itself, It’s a very, very huge sophistry, questioning the so-called truth, goodness and beauty of art.”

In the end, the interview stopped at a sentence from the novel: "She suddenly felt that it was not the people who studied literature, but the literature that had failed them." This may be what she really meant by quoting Chekhov's novel "The Man in the Trap" "Condom" right?

Power can always easily become a temptation between the sexes

In the relationship between the sexes, power can always become a great temptation. For an example of this, look at David in the Bible. David has always been the favorite of Western sculptors. He is handsome in appearance, full of personality and strength, and has depth of thought. If you were Bathsheba, what if a David-like figure appeared today, a mature, well-established, attractive man. The most important thing is that he would appreciate you and make you feel that you are a woman full of femininity. Inviting you to spend a spring night with him, will you refuse?

What makes this temptation so hard to resist? Also, what is the reason for easy rejection?

Usually, it is unlikely for a married woman to have an extramarital affair just to have sex. The reason why you fall in love is mostly because you have feelings, and feelings are likely to be attracted and fall because the person has a certain charm, some special advantages or certain characteristics.

Therefore, a man who usually pleases a woman has a lot to do with the rich resources he possesses. This rich resource includes status, ambition, stability and maturity, or being knowledgeable and versatile in your favorite field. For those who love literature, it means literary talent and literary literacy.

If a woman becomes disappointed in her husband due to reality after entering into marriage, or some of her desires cannot be satisfied, there will be a break in the relationship. At this time, if an object with relatively abundant resources appears, it will become a temptation for women. Because of his excellence, he seduce the desire and yearning in women's hearts. The most difficult dream for a woman to give up is to be in the arms of a stronger, stronger, safer and more reliable person. So abundant resources are often a temptation.

But if you know that the first step is to go to bed, it will be a bit difficult for women. The desire for a sense of security makes women dare not act rashly. Because in order to subvert the safe environment and track, women have to go through layers of hurdles in their hearts. Will they first worry about what to say morally? If you are already a mother, what should you do with your child? If you are married, will your partner become violent if they find out? How to explain to your parents? How will I behave in the future? ……etc. Once a woman cheats on her, she will entrust herself to the other person with all her heart, and it will be difficult to shake.

▲In the relationship between the sexes, power can always become a great temptation. King David was handsome, powerful, and Bathsheba found it difficult to refuse. (Excerpted from a still from the movie "King David")

Teacher-student love is mostly based on admiration and adoration

In this way, those who possess authority and resources in the field of knowledge often have great attraction. There are many such examples both at home and abroad. On March 14, 1999, North American TV news reported that a female high school teacher in California had a relationship with a male student.

The male student had a problem and wanted to ask the teacher for after-school tutoring, but the teacher took him home and had sex with him. The teacher was convicted by the court of "sexual assault" on a minor child. According to news reports, the student was emotionally disturbed after returning home. It was obvious that this adult teacher used her position to violate the male student, not only physically but also mentally.

This makes us a little curious about the teacher who caused the harm. What kind of person would do such an inhumane thing to a child? Many psychological studies show that most perpetrators have themselves been sexually or violently abused. A low self-image and a deep sense of inferiority force them to use pathological ways to satisfy their needs.

Moreover, in their adult world, they cannot satisfy their deep inner needs for love and care. The environment itself may put a lot of pressure on them, and they must conquer weaker people in unsound ways to prove their importance and self-existence. Such people will often "seed" over and over again and will not be satisfied by being in one relationship.

Another American example is the 36-year-old female teacher Mary Kay Letourneau who had a love affair with a 13-year-old boy and was sentenced to prison.

It was mentioned in the news that the boy's mother once said that she was very moved by the great love between the female teacher and the little boy. When the female teacher completes her sentence, if they still love each other, they will consider letting the female teacher live in their home. Some people say that as long as it is true love, it has its greatness and sublimity and must be respected. If the true feelings between teachers and students are revealed, should they be more tolerant and less accusatory? Is there any reason to convict "sexual assault" legally?

Although the male student repeatedly claimed that they truly loved each other and that no one bullied the other or violated the other, because the legal age of majority in the United States is eighteen, he was a child before he was a minor. A child is easily provoked and induced, whether physically, mentally, or emotionally.

There is a characteristic of this stage of teenagers. Their sexual characteristics are developing, their bodies are undergoing some changes, and their psychological sexual desires are also awakening. It is a feeling of shaking the world, and at the same time they are eager to find intimacy outside of the family. However, he is not yet mature enough to handle a relationship with the opposite sex. He doesn't know when to let go? When should I collect? What does physical intimacy mean? What was the impact on his psychology? How can your mind and heart not be completely occupied by emotions and concentrate on your studies?

▲Thirty-six-year-old female teacher Mary Kay Letourneau had a teacher-student relationship with a 13-year-old boy and was sentenced to prison. After serving time and giving birth in prison, they finally got married, but are currently going through a divorce. (pictures from the Internet)

Basically, he is unable to make a decision independently and maturely, make a commitment in the relationship, and take responsibility. He will only be "influenced" and swayed by a figure who is older than him and has some kind of authority in his life. Therefore, when a teacher gives special attention and special treatment to a specific person in the class, it is easy for the student to feel that he is cared for and highlighted, and basically has no ability to refuse. On the contrary, he will enjoy getting this attention and will be obedient and obedient like a lamb, letting you do whatever you want. A child has complete trust and love for the important adults in his or her life. If adults follow the trend, it is easy to violate children's ignorance and innocence and have sexual relations. Even though the child is willing, it should still be considered a "sexual assault."

Back to the female teacher Mary Kay Lituño. In order to marry her students, she abandoned her family, divorced her children and went to jail. But later, after surviving the time in prison, "the lovers finally got married." The two got married and had several children. Twelve years have passed, and the marriage between the two is not happy. Not only have they been living on the edge of poverty, but they have also had different affairs. What is worrying is that their next generation will become the victims of this "teacher-student love".

The teacher-student love in traditional Chinese culture has a feeling of being against moral will

The most famous example in Chinese society is the story of Qiong Yao and her teacher. She later wrote it into a novel and also made it into a movie "Outside the Window". When Qiong Yao was in junior high school, she fell in love with her teacher, but did not have sexual relations. But because of the conservative nature of that era, it also caused an uproar in society. Later, the teacher was forced to resign due to social pressure, and he lived in poverty throughout his life.

Since there is no relationship, it cannot be called "seduction", right? So why does the Chinese community react so strongly against such a thing? It has something to do with how the Chinese culture at that time viewed teachers.

The Chinese believe that "one day is a teacher, and a lifetime is a father." Teachers not only transfer knowledge to students, but also shape personality and morality. The relationship is from top to bottom. Once a teacher-student relationship occurs, it will give people a feeling that goes against common sense, a bit like a daughter and her father falling in love, like incest, which is very unacceptable.

Therefore, regardless of whether there is a relationship or not, it is love that hurts justice. The teacher can no longer maintain the dignity of a teacher and continue his identity of "preaching, teaching, and solving doubts." This is why Qiong Yao's incident caused an uproar in society.

▲Teacher-student relationships usually have a hard time ending for various reasons. (The picture shows a still from the movie "Outside the Window")

As times change, many relationships between teachers and students turn into extramarital affairs

However, in 1998, after the scandal broke out between Wang Wenyang, the son of Taiwan's "God of Management" Wang Yongqing, and Wang Anni, no one seemed to blame their teacher-student relationship anymore, and instead focused on the controversy surrounding their extramarital affair. This may also be due to the changes in modern society. Teachers no longer have so much dignity as teachers. In addition to imparting knowledge, the impact of moral character is becoming less and less. The relationship between teachers and students is no longer "a teacher for one day, a father for a lifetime", but has become a very simple "work" relationship, one pays tuition, the other sells knowledge, that's all. The perverse, incestuous feeling was no longer so obvious.

On the contrary, as long as students enter university or graduate school, it is equivalent to two adults falling in love. Since both of them have matured and can take responsibility for their own emotions and psychology, most people, even their parents, seem to have nothing to argue with. The problem is that when students enter university, most of the teachers have obtained doctorate degrees, are a bit older, and most of them are married, so there are disputes about extramarital affairs. Lin Yihan and supplementary school teacher Chen Xing are such common examples. However, this does not mean that they meet on an equal and free basis, which makes the relationship full of problems.

In 1998, there was an example of Professor Li and a female student named Wu at Taiwan Normal University. When the news first broke, it was the students who accused the teacher of "sexual harassment." Later, the teacher's wife came out to accuse the female students of interfering with the family and committing adultery. It can also be said that this is a problem of adult teacher-student love. It goes well, but it doesn't go well. The two people are not happy with each other, or the teacher cheats the student in the homework, or the student sues the teacher for sexual harassment. It is difficult for outsiders to figure out who is responsible for who between the two.

This is also like an office romance. How does a work relationship work if personal feelings are mixed in? When two people interact, how should students' grades be handled so that they are not unfair? How come they have different perceptions of grades? One thinks she deserves an A, but the teacher only gives her a C. Will the student still agree to date you when you return? The relationship between a teacher and a lover has its own ethical conflicts. A strict teacher will produce a good disciple, and this is not always the case in an intimate relationship.

It is difficult to distinguish between public and private matters, which can also cause dissatisfaction among other students. This layer can only be shed after students graduate. But there is still a danger that feelings may arise, feelings may lead to hatred, and if things go wrong, you may file a complaint and be labeled as a sexual harasser. The book "Shame" written by the Nobel Prize-winning South African writer Ke Ci also tells this version of the story.

So, if the teacher-student relationship happens when the man is unmarried and the woman is unmarried, it is a pure love, and the students graduate, will there be a chance that it will become a beautiful thing? I'm afraid there are still some congenital defects. Because the teacher-student relationship is basically a relationship of worship and being worshiped. Think about it, how stable is a relationship between the sexes based on worship? How healthy will it be?

Xu Beihong and female student Sun Duoci did not succeed. Because "worship" is viewed from the bottom up, there is a platform that lifts people up very high. Students admire their teachers for their talent and style. If you enter into a marriage and the person you admire steps down from the stage and stands beside you, the situation will be completely different.

In particular, many people with high knowledge and talents have extremely weak living abilities, and the greater the embarrassment and deficiencies exposed in their lives. At that time, an idol that students admired and worshiped seems to have collapsed, and disappointment and complaints will follow. The worst thing is that when the student's spouse gradually grows up and matures in talent and life, and surpasses the teacher in professional performance, the relationship between the two will become tense. For example, many of Rodin's works plagiarized the creative ideas of his lover Carmeile, and also exploited Carmeile's opportunity to publish under her name.

Therefore, if the teacher-student relationship is to develop into a beautiful marriage, two conditions must be met: 1. The teacher is indeed irresistible and worthy of admiration. 2. On the one hand, students worship the teacher to the end, on the other hand, they can accept the teacher's shortcomings and deficiencies in life, and are willing to do everything for them and make up for them without any regrets. Then, the dream comes true, and teachers and students can become a couple. But how many people can?

In this way, it is basically difficult for teacher-student love to end well. A relationship that is originally based on worshiping illusions should be avoided as much as possible. Every once in a while, American universities will ask professors to reread a statement on avoiding sexual harassment and then sign it as a bond. Since the admired teacher is much older than the student and has more knowledge than the student, he should be in control. He should not encourage, let alone hint at seduction, and let an abnormal love begin casually.

This is a trap for teachers, because "being worshiped" is a very tempting feeling. Being stared up at by a pair of star-like eyes can light up one's own dim heart and explode with brilliant fireworks. Teachers must always remind themselves that it is an illusion, do not be fooled by the illusion, and be cautious in their words and deeds.

Returning to Lin Yihan, whether her relationship with her teacher was a "teacher-student love" or a "seduction", the consequences of it happening in her teenage years turned her life upside down. Let her live like a damaged doll, her soul completely hollowed out. She claimed that the purpose of writing the book was not to accuse, but to express the pain of her life. However, what a heavy statement that is! Although she said that what she expressed in the book was not accusation, but love. But she made the biggest accusation with this sentence:

"The largest massacre in human history was Fang Siqi's rape."

I believe that many girls who have had similar experiences and were sexually assaulted when they were minors will shed tears when they read this. The huge shadow that happened in my life when I was young is unspeakable and unclear, but it largely destroyed my ability to enter into intimate relationships and became a lifelong emotional disability.

What they lost was not only their innocence, but also their innocence and hope for life, and their right to be a carefree little girl. What is lost is precious childhood, confidence in people, the ability to be close to the opposite sex and the sense of security in life. This situation is still happening, is happening, and there is such persecution and massacre all over the world. This is why after writing this book, Lin Yihan still couldn't bear the weight of such a life and the sorrow of his soul, and chose to commit suicide!

To prevent such harm, only parents must always be present in their children's lives, start teaching physical boundaries and sex education to their children when they are young, and help them understand how to draw boundaries and protect themselves without getting hurt. When I was young, I didn’t know how to resist. I still felt that it was my fault and kept apologizing to life.

At the same time, parents should also try their best to prevent their children from disappearing into dark corners without knowing it, and often observe whether their children's physical and mental reactions are abnormal. Once the child reacts, do not be like many parents who easily brush off the child's words and say, "You are thinking too much! He is absolutely impossible!"

On the contrary, even if the person who harmed the child is a close relative, he must be trusted and thoroughly investigated, and resolute action must be taken to bring the other person to justice to avoid harming more children. Naturally, there are always corners in life that parents cannot cover, so the only way is to pray and ask God to take care of and protect them.

As for those girls who have been hurt, I pray that in God and faith, you can find the face you once lost, the dignity and beauty that belongs to the daughter of God, and believe that relying on God, you will always be able to recover from the brokenness. The possibility of producing beautiful flowers.

▲For those girls who have been hurt, we pray that in faith, they can find their lost faces and the dignity and beauty that belong to the daughters of God. We believe that relying on God, there will always be beautiful flowers blooming from the brokenness. possible.

The new generation writer Lin Yihan (pictured left) suddenly committed suicide, causing a lot of reluctance and heartache in China, Hong Kong and Taiwan. The male teacher involved in the incident publicly stated that their relationship was mutually exclusive. However, Lin Yihan clearly pointed out in the novel that "this is a story about a girl who fell in love with a seducer." That experience left her trapped in the scarred past, making it difficult to move forward.

Although she did not refuse to "associate" with the teacher back then, she often felt unbearable pain and hesitation. In the article "Discussing "Seduction" from the Lin Yihan Incident", Mo Fei quoted many cases of teacher-student love and pointedly pointed out that this is an unbalanced relationship between worshiping and being worshiped. The male teacher is personable and has extraordinary literary talent. It is easy for a literary girl who has just started to admire her to rationalize the teacher's behavior and take all the pain and mistakes on herself. She even thinks that this is love. Until she sees the truth clearly, her life is full of holes. .

After Lin Yihan's parents lost their beloved daughter, they expressed their hope on several occasions to help Fang Siqi (name of the heroine in the novel) who are still suffering and to prevent the next Fang Siqi from being born. Mo Fei, who has an adult daughter, gave many practical suggestions on how to protect girls, but she also admitted that human power is limited after all, and no matter how careful you are, there are always corners that cannot be covered. Fortunately, we have God, and we can ask Him to take care and protect us through unremitting prayer. As for the injured girls, parents must pray for them urgently. When they understand that they are God's cherished treasures, and even if their body and mind have been trampled upon, they are still noble daughters in the eyes of God, they will have the opportunity to say goodbye to the past and embrace a new life.

(Zheng Qiongyu)

warder

While the Lin Yihan incident triggered discussions in the three places across the Taiwan Strait, there was also news about "seduction" in the United States, which was discussed by all parties. Moreover, because this incident was related to a murder case, this long-buried "cold case" Being noisy again.

On May 19, 2017, Netflix released a seven-episode documentary "The Keepers" (tentative translation: Watchmen), which tells the story of Jane Man and Abby, two graduates of the Catholic private high school for girls in Baltimore, USA. Teacher Sister Kathy. The beloved young nun disappeared during their senior year of high school. Her body was found in a wasteland three months later, but the cause and murderer could not be found. Many years later, Janeman and Abby set out to search for information about Sister Cathy's case, and inadvertently revealed that the resident priest and male clergy used the secret contents of the students' confessions to coerce the female students into the office and rape them. They brainwashed or threatened them, saying that the priests used sex to "cleanse" the female students who had committed crimes. Sister Kathy may have been murdered after she had a "showdown" with the priest after learning about the priest's evil deeds.

This was a case in 1969. More than 40 years later, the female students who were victims are now at retirement age. Some people bravely recounted their painful experiences in the past in the documentary, trembling. Those demons in uniforms, wearing the golden bell of power and status, threatened and deceived simple and ignorant female students, causing their lives to wither when they bloomed like flowers, and to live in poverty.

According to statistics, about one percent of abduction cases in the United States are committed by strangers, and most of the abductors are people close to them. The victims in the documentary were assaulted by priests, police officers, relatives and friends. 1 The biggest reason why The Keepers is controversial is that the school, police and local religious groups all knew that the main suspect, Father Maskell, had violated the female students, but no one came forward to expose or accuse them. Sister Cathy, who had a love for watching over the students, was brutally murdered. The documentary truly reveals the dark side of human nature, which is very heart-breaking. Where is the justice? It also makes people think: Are you and I willing and courageous to become watchmen for our neighbors?

The American magazine "Christianity Today" mentioned, "In Western societies where life is affluent, we cannot naturally discuss God's justice and judgment. We like to focus on God's love and grace. Even in missionary work Christians on the front lines want to avoid the harsh parts of the Bible..." 2 Many of the people involved in the "Watchmen" film have passed away, or are ill or have unclear memories, dating back fifty years. Sexual assault and murder cases are very difficult in terms of justice and time. This video awakened the public's pursuit of justice. There were many responses online, causing more people to provide clues or share memories. The murder case of Sister Cathy is still under investigation.

(Wu Xinhui)

Note 1: The Keepers Review by Steven Thrasher, June 15, 2017, Esquire. http://www.esquire.com/entertainment/tv/a55633/the-keepers-netflix-series-review/
Note 2: In 'The Keepers,' Harrowing Crimes Awaken Our Longing for Justice by Cameron Macallister, June 9, 2017.
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2017/june-web-only/in-keepers-harrowing-crimes-awaken-our-longing-for-justice.html

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