The home that hits the bullseye

▲What is the bullseye of a happy family? Have you taken aim? (Image source: http://www.teresabraam.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/archery-flying-arrows-bullseye-bow-arrow-214884.jpg)

Start with a couple’s prayer

Tear open the envelope, open the thank you card, wow! Colorful sequins are scattered all over the floor! In my heart, I am grateful for the cards sent to us by our children and the love we show to our parents. Although everyone wants to run a happy home, what does happiness mean? Is there any way to help a family hit the bullseye of happiness? Some families are filled with warm sequins, while others are filled with broken pieces of their souls scattered all over the floor!

Every time I go on a trip, what I look forward to most is always going home. We are always so excited every time the kids come home or family comes to visit. Why do you feel this way?

Ever since I (Yue Yue) was five or six years old, I went to my eighth uncle and aunt's house for dinner. The image of their prayers and spiritual practice after the meal was still imprinted in my mind and heart after more than fifty years.

The eighth aunt is an American missionary. She and her uncle have no children. After breakfast every day, the couple would always sit at the dinner table and let their family members take turns reading a passage from the Bible and some words of encouragement. Next, my aunt would pray for everyone in the family.

Now that I have grown up, Meiji and I have been building a family for more than thirty years. How did we get through this?

Remember that premarital counseling told us the secret to a happy marriage—to maintain the habit of reading the Bible and praying together as a couple every day. During this time, God wants to tell us how to live for the Lord and how to build a family together. When reading the Bible, you can say something to us. We go to bed at the same time and pray together at night, although sometimes he has to wait for me, or I have to wait for him, just like brushing our teeth and washing our face. This is what we must do every day, and we cherish this time very much.

Devotional with children

Although we experienced physical, mental, and spiritual troughs in the first three years of our marriage, they passed quickly. After the first child was born, I listened to the teachings of the Sunday school teacher. I led her to pray and give thanks from the time she was breastfeeding. I read "The Bible for Little Eyes" to my daughter every night for five years.

When the second child was five years old, we started reading a Proverb to him every day. I remember one day, the teacher told us that he had strong reading ability. I didn’t understand it at first, but later I realized that it was cultivated through reading the Bible every day, and I was filled with gratitude.

After the children went to school, we started to put some scripture cards on the dining table. The children would pick out a scripture before meals. They would read it in English and we would read it in Chinese, memorize it and share our experiences at the same time.

Sing hymns and read devotionals together one night a week. Everyone takes turns in serving, but we often have to worry about who plays the piano, and we face challenges every time. My younger brother is the youngest in the family, the slowest at reading music, and poor at playing, but he always competes to play. What was supposed to be a spiritual atmosphere has become the "best time" for disagreements. What poem to choose? He could only choose a few songs that he could play, and he insisted on playing them every time, so the fast songs became slow songs. I am very grateful that, as a result of long-term patience, he has become a pianist who can read music very quickly and can play it just by picking up the music.

Because of the frequent family altar time, the family has become the Huggy Bears. My younger brother wants to hug everyone seven times a day. I don’t know when he developed it in his little mind - Only those who hug three times a day can live a normal life; Only those who hug six times can feel loved and can love others; Hug Those who do it seven times can fly high!

When children enter high school, they have less and less time to get together and have heart-to-heart conversations, and the family altar is on the verge of collapse. As a result, I had an idea and put a spiritual journal in the car. Every day when my father took them to school, one person would read the Bible and the three of them would take turns praying. This was how the family altar continued!

Now ask my two adult children, which period of time do they cherish most in their memories? Both my daughter and my son will say, "The most cherished time every Friday night is when our father puts his hands on our heads, speaks words of love to us, and blesses us."

How are these family traditions passed on? What are the benefits? Why is the family altar a "safe haven of love"? Everyone needs encouragement, but for some reason they just can't say the kind words that encourage and build others up. Is it because we are all prone to being self-centered and seeing things from our own perspective? In the long run, problems will arise in the relationship between family members. But family altar time allows the family to actively connect with God and connect with family, which is absolutely necessary for physical, mental, and spiritual health. Because "love" takes time to understand, experience, and express the love of God and the love of family members here.

If we want to define a family altar, it is actually a family’s testimony and lifestyle of worshiping God and communicating with God. Therefore, family altars are not limited to some form of external worship activities, but are a living expression of faith.

Covenant family with God

The family altar is a covenant with God to become a family for worshiping God, serving God, glorifying God, enjoying God, and communing with God. Joshua said a famous saying when he was old. He said, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:14,15) For their children, parents have the attributes given by God. The authority of the spirit. When Joshua said that, he was making a declaration for his whole family as the head of the family. Whether a family is a family that serves God has a very close relationship with the parents.

How can we bring our children to the Lord? Should we just bring them to church and leave them to pastors and Sunday school teachers to teach them? It is the responsibility of every parent to bring their children to the Lord, and this cannot be done solely by the church. They may be able to help us, but what they do cannot replace the responsibilities of being a parent.

The day for our children to leave home will soon come. Before they go to college, there are two very important things to do: lead them to make a decision to believe in the Lord, and lead them to be baptized into the name of the Lord. You must know that if you are not born again and saved, you will lose them forever in eternity. Therefore, the sooner you lead your children to decide to believe in the Lord, the better. Don’t think that the children are still young and ignorant. Let them know that they are little sinners and need to accept the Lord Jesus as their personal savior.

I remember that when I (Meiji) led my daughter to accept the Lord Jesus as her Savior, she was three and a half years old. She still remembers it very clearly, even the color and pattern of the bedroom curtains at that time are clear to her mind. Because she has known since she was a child that she would do something wrong, and that she could not change it, so she needed Jesus to save her.

▲Some families are full of warm sequins, while others are filled with broken pieces of their souls scattered all over the floor. (Image source: http://funhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Valentines-day-wallpaper-2015.jpg)

Home Altar Practice

If you want to build a family altar to worship God, you must offer something on the altar, which means living a life of consecration. . The altar and the offering are inseparable. So what to offer on the family altar? Paul said, “Therefore I urge you, brothers, because of God’s mercy, to present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship” (Romans 12). : 1-2) Let us always renew our devotion to God. As husband and wife, we should offer ourselves as living sacrifices together and be willing to live for Christ. The Holy Spirit will surely fill us and make us passionate about loving God and loving others!

What else can be offered to God on the family altar other than a living sacrifice of the body? That is the sacrifice of praise, as well as the sacrifice of doing good and donating. The sacrifice of praise is a fruit of lips sealed by Jesus. That is a very blessed thing, because our God is enthroned with the praise of Israel.

The home altar must also have the teaching and discussion of God’s Word. Moses said to the Israelites at the beginning, "These words that I command you today shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your children; you shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the road, when you lie down, and when you rise up." (Deuteronomy 6:6-7) We still do this today. At the same time, Amos chapter 8 verse 11 says, "Behold, the days are coming, declares the Lord God, when I will send famine on the earth. People will be hungry, not for lack of bread, nor thirsty for lack of water, but because they will not obey the voice of the Lord." Let us always remember and obey God’s words.

Family Altar Blessings

For more than thirty years, the family altar has been the best way to connect us. Especially now that our children have left home, we as a couple can spend an hour on weekends praising God, praising His name, confessing our sins to each other, and giving thanks and intercession for everything at home. When reading the Bible, you can repeat a passage three or four times. While reading and listening, you can also pray and discuss the passage with your spouse and Heavenly Father, and finally achieve a state of unity. It’s been a wonderful time, and we wish each other the best at the end!

What blessings will building a family altar bring us? A home altar brings all kinds of spiritual blessings. I (Meiji) believe that there are two types of Christians in the world: one is like Esau, who is very capable and powerful, but only knows how to hunt for earthly benefits and has no interest in spiritual things; the other is like Jacob, although he is not Good but know how to hold on to God. He said, "If you don't bless me, I won't let you go."

In fact, it does not mean that there will be no problem if the family has established a family altar. It is just that from the family altar we learn to respect the Lord as the greatest, and to regard God and His truth as the bullseye of happiness. The family altar allows us to experience the Lord’s mercy in our weaknesses, and because of God’s presence, there will be love and tolerance among family members. Let us realize and long for living in the temple of God while we are still alive.

In fact, the most precious thing in a person’s life is the blessing given by God Himself. Let God Himself become our personal inheritance, because if we gain the Lord, we will gain everything. The blessing that the family altar brings us is that God often appears to us and speaks to us. How beautiful is that sweet communication with the Lord!

Are you willing to aim for the bullseye and shoot for a happy family?

Author profile

He Mingzhi and Xue Yueyue are from Taiwan and now live on the east coast of the United States. He teaches "couple relationships" and "child rearing" in adult Sunday school classes, and also tutors some young people, and serves as the couple leader of the American Family Renewal Association's Loving Couples Camp.