How does the church confront domestic violence? One of the pastor’s responses

Interview/Liao Meihui

▲Victims of violence "stand up and speak out!" The courage to "expose" and the willingness to let outside forces, such as professional counseling institutions, churches, police, etc., intervene to help is the first step towards solving the problem.

Mrs. Xu Chen Meijin has provided long-term counseling and helped countless families regain marital happiness. Mrs. Xu not only has professional training in psychological counseling, but also has more than 20 years of practical counseling experience. Regarding domestic violence, Mrs. Xu put forward the following five pieces of advice and suggestions:

1. Victims of violence must be willing to “expose”

For victims of violence, the most important first step is: come out! Get rid of shame and fear, have the courage to "expose", don't hide in the dark, and be willing to let outside forces (such as professional counseling agencies, churches, police, etc.) intervene.

2. Let the abuser know the consequences

Let the perpetrator know that domestic violence is not a domestic matter, but a crime. Tell the abuser that if he is unwilling to change, he will face legal liability and may even face the consequences of losing his family, losing his marriage, etc.

3. Let God intervene

No matter how bad things are, no matter how bad the situation is, don’t think it’s impossible to change, and let God intervene as soon as possible, because what needs to be solved is not only the violence itself, but also the sin within people. You need to understand that the perpetrator also has a lot of fears and fears in his heart, and even suffered a lot of hurt during his growth.

4. Find the root cause

Church pastors and members must understand that behind domestic violence lies the hatred and sin in people’s hearts. Every situation of domestic violence is different, and the way to deal with it is also different. Do not easily persuade divorce. You must find out the root cause of domestic violence, where the hearts of both parties are hurt, and provide separate counseling for the husband and wife.

5. Support groups

Encourage domestic violence families to join support groups (such as church fellowships and small groups) with love and patience. Once in a healthy group, you will see good family relationship models. After being accepted and understood, you will slowly be influenced and willing to change, and establish New model. When the body experiences the benefits of healing brought about by change, domestic violence families may gradually experience a turnaround.

Interviewee profile
"New Jersey Evangelization Center" Mrs. Xu Chenmei-jin
She met, fell in love with, and became acquainted with her husband, Pastor Xu Zongshi, at Tunghai University. After their marriage, the two went to the United States to further their studies. Mrs. Xu specializes in psychological counseling and has pastored together with Pastor Xu for more than 26 years. From 1981 to 1997, he pastored the Harvest Church in New Jersey. In 1998, he established the Harvest International Center. HIC is a multi-ethnic church that focuses on the next generation of English ministry. They have two sons, the eldest son is married and has two grandchildren.