Live till old age, learn till old age, teach till old age

▲ Elder Su Tongzhong (1914-2007) took a photo of the sand dunes in Death Valley National Park, California, in 2003. During his lifetime, he was very interested in the formation of natural sand dunes and the challenges of long-distance hiking.

The deepest impression on me about my father is that he is not complacent at all. He is always learning, striving for improvement, and is willing to pass on what he has learned to the next generation.

Full of spirituality

He has the habit of getting up early to exercise. So when I went to Los Angeles to visit my parents, I often went hiking with my dad in the morning. The route he takes most often is from his fifth brother Wen'an's home to a nearby primary school, and then back again. There is a large picture painted on the wall facing the street of that school, which is the head of the Bald Eagle, the national emblem of the United States.

Every time I pass by there, my father will definitely say: "This eagle has sharp eyes that can see the target clearly; it has a downward-hooking peck that can hold its prey tightly; it has white head hair. It represents holy behavior; it has psychic nostrils, representing spiritual breathing and maintaining a life connection with God.”

Because my father said so, every time I walk there, I look at the picture carefully. The eyes and pecks are quite obvious. The crown feathers are white, and there is no baldness in the English name. Look carefully for the nostrils and you will find a small hole on the upper right side of the base of the mouth. Because Dad often thinks about spiritual things, he can often explain people and things in a "spiritual sense." Although sometimes I find his explanations a bit confusing or incoherent, behind them, you can see his lively and abundant imagination.

accept new ideas

One day, when we were walking, my father suddenly said to me: "Wenbo, I want to apologize to you!" I was surprised because I couldn't think of anything that he needed to apologize for, and I thought it was something serious. event and I don't know.

Dad continued: "Yesterday morning you repeatedly emphasized that 'it is very noble to carry a cane.' You asked me to use a cane as much as possible when walking, in case I step on small stones or potholes on the road and fall; this kind of 'just in case' avoids using a cane." The troublesome thoughts and actions of myself and my family are noble. But I always feel that it is useless to use a cane, so I answered rudely: "Everyone has his own style!"

As soon as Dad said that, I remembered that we did have "communication" when we were walking yesterday. However, I respected the old man's intention and did not force him at all; since my father frankly expressed his different views, I did not feel that he was rude at all, but it was a valuable exchange. So I quickly said to him: "Dad, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to force what I said yesterday. Please tell me what you mean, thank you!"

I once wrote a "Learning from Joy" column in Taiwan's "Campus Magazine", which included two articles and games, "Holding a Cane, It's Very Noble" and "My Walker, a Good Reliance". I hope that it will be useful to the elderly and those who are about to enter the university. People in their golden years should cultivate this awareness and concept. While my father mentioned this matter himself, I communicated with him again in a friendly manner, and the relationship between father and son deepened.

From September 8 to 15, 2007, my father, accompanied by his third brother Wenfeng, once again participated in the True Love In-depth Tour with me as the volunteer tour guide and the fifth brother Wen'an as the team leader. I saw him taking his Walker with him and using it faithfully every time he got out of the car or the boat. Just like when I led them to play the two games "Get the Cane" and "My Walker" at the Evergreen Fellowship of Hepingfu Church in Los Angeles, even though it required many "nurturings", my father was actually able to grow up in his old age. Learn new concepts and implement them. I am really honored for him and express my appreciation to him!

Exercises for longevity and longevity

Since 2002, the True Love Family Association has held an in-depth whole-person tour every year. It not only goes to see the scenery and take photos, but also hopes to make deeper progress in various aspects such as physical health, intellectual growth, interpersonal relationships, and understanding of the true God. I have volunteered to be a volunteer tour guide from the beginning. Except for the first time when my father had a gout attack that prevented him from making the trip, he actively participated every year thereafter.

From 2003 to 2006, the fourth brother Wenzhe accompanied his father to attend the event to prevent him from forgetting things or falling down. He insists on being present at any activity during the tour, whether it is hiking on the mountain trails (free to participate), evening gatherings, explaining the texture of flowers and grass, etc. in order to learn new things. During lectures or classes, he dozed most of the time, and even snored occasionally, and he had to be touched with his elbow. However, when we talked with him afterwards, he seemed to have remembered the key points.

There is aerobics every morning. Dad likes to contribute most; he may preside over it, or he may take turns teaching morning exercises with other volunteers. This comprehensive trip to Hawaii, which ended two weeks before his death, was his fifth time as a teacher of "life-prolonging exercises." My father’s example of being old and healthy deeply inspired all the group members.

It's too early to stop driving

Dad is quite stubborn about his views and practices. Of course, without this kind of "persistence" and "perseverance", how could he have survived many natural and man-made disasters, economic difficulties, setbacks and disappointments in his life?

For example, he learned to drive only after immigrating to the United States at the age of seventy-three. After driving for many years, I am getting older and more prone to making mistakes. But if his children asked him to stop driving, it would be like cutting off his feet. They absolutely refused.

After praying and discussing with my eldest brother Wenlong and my family, I decided that since I live out of state and don't have to "face" my dad very often, I shouldered the responsibility of giving him "advice". I know that it takes a long time for dad, or most elderly people, to change their minds. So the possibility that one day he would have to stop driving was instilled in him many years ago.

When we are doing activities together, such as hiking in the morning, and I see a car driving erratically on the street, or running a yellow light, I take the opportunity to say, "This person is driving unsafely, making us a little worried when walking on the roadside." Dad also said fairly: "Actually, the older you get, the more careful you drive. It's not the elderly who really drive carelessly, but young people who are most likely to cause car accidents." What the elderly don't want to hear the most is that they say they are not careful because of their age. Large enough to cause a car accident.

Then I asked my father: "Dad, you are very careful in everything you do and don't want to cause harm to others. Do you think it would be harder for older people to see a child suddenly jump out to pick up a ball on the roadside, or because of the other party?" What if something goes wrong and it hits you, but you can't stop the car?" Dad is a fair person and admits that this possibility is possible. I asked again, "Will there come a time when you have to stop driving?" The answer was, of course, "It's too early!"

A person who is reasonable and willing to change

A few months or a year later, when we do activities together again, I will ask similar questions again, or start asking him what other modes of transportation are available for people who don’t drive in the area where he lives? When it comes to taking the bus, Dad thinks it's a waste of time and inconvenient. Taking a taxi felt too expensive for him who was frugal. I would ask him: "If the car is hit by someone else, if someone is injured, how much are the repair fees, medical fees, and insurance premiums here?" In the end, the decision of whether to drive or not must be made by Dad himself. We can only provide the pros and cons of various possibilities and sincerely think and suggest what is best for him.

When my father was eighty-nine, he got a ticket for speeding and running a red light and went to court. Later, he spent his own money to hire a new coach, learn to drive, read traffic rules, and then obtain a driving license. A year later, he drove into a large truck in front of him. Fortunately, no one was injured, but the car was completely destroyed. He wanted to buy another car. I quickly asked my father: "How much will the insurance premium be now? It will probably be very expensive. How much does it cost to buy a car? Is it cheaper to take a taxi a few times a week?" ?” I asked him to pray and think by himself. We were all relieved when he decided not to drive again. It can be seen that although he has a very persistent personality, he is always a reasonable person and willing to change.

Life inheritance is the most valuable

Dad's "teaching" is not lectures in the classroom. Every time he had to share publicly, he quickly "sent in reinforcements" to his children. But dad’s life itself is our best teacher. He felt that he was ordinary and had not worked hard enough to preach the gospel to God and lead people to believe in the Lord. So when the Peace Church was about to host a short-term missionary trip to Taiwan, he signed up immediately. Although his physical condition was not suitable for participating in the short-term missionary trip to Taiwan, there was no doubt about his inner enthusiasm. Dad finally accepted it: the best way for him to participate in the short-term mission team was to be a prayer warrior for each team member, not to go to Taiwan alone.

Thinking of my teaching methods in medical schools or hospitals, I focus on letting students think and make their own decisions, helping them to be motivated to do better, and then giving them sincere encouragement after they do well. This is a "teaching" influenced by my father. Just like a long time ago, after the pharmacy in Tainan closed, he would ask us children to take turns standing on the tatami bed to practice our speeches. After speaking, he will first praise him, and then talk about what he said well, what needs improvement, etc.

Every brother and sister in our family is deeply grateful to Heavenly Father for giving us such a good father. Although Dad is not perfect, he has many shortcomings. But he has an excellent spirit of learning and always strives to make progress; and he has given us the most beautiful and valuable example in both words and deeds.

Author profile

Su Wenbo, professor of dermatology at Mayo Medical Center in Minnesota, USA. True Love is a volunteer guide for in-depth travel. My father, Elder Su Tongzhong, passed away on October 4, 2007. I write this article in memory of him.