The sudden outbreak of the epidemic ruffles a pool of spring water
Photo courtesy/Yanon
"Bang!" A text message came from the phone. When I opened it, I saw, "There will be a meeting from 10:30 to 11:30 today." This was from my daughter.
"Bang!" The text message came again, this time from my husband, "There will be a meeting at 12:30 today." Every day, such text messages became my schedule notification. These days, I accidentally got a new job - working as a lunch chef in a small office restaurant. The small office is my home, and the staff restaurant is in the kitchen. The "staff" in the office send me text messages every day, asking me to open the restaurant and serve meals on time. Today's lunch time is from 11:30 am to 12:30 pm.
Not too excited rookie employee
My daughter will graduate from college at the end of May 2020. After accumulating knowledge and experience for four years, I want to find a job where I can show my talents and step into the ranks of new people in society. At the peak of the COVID-19 epidemic, my daughter moved back home in desperation and graduated in a cloud ceremony, but she still didn’t feel down to earth. A few months later, I finally found a job and became a rookie employee.
In her imagination, she should live in an apartment and enter the office with trepidation every day to adapt to the new job and new environment. On the weekends, you may go out with new friends or gather with young people from the local church to enjoy the interesting growth process of "newbies".
In fact, the rookie freshman wasn't too excited. Her office is located in the corner of the living room. Her boss and colleagues are in a distant city and meet online from time to time. Her actual "colleagues" are the president/dad who works in the master bedroom on the second floor, her brother/member/computer installer at the next table, her sister-in-law/member/unlicensed legal advisor, and the cleaning staff/staff responsible for cleaning the office. Restaurant chef/delivery person/mom.
Apart from working from home and not having to go out, I can only chat with my friends on the computer on weekends, or occasionally go to the supermarket to buy groceries. If you can buy a cup of coffee and go to a friend's house, stand at the door keeping a distance from your friend, and have a small chat, it will be the highest point of the week's social activities!
▲The kitchen becomes a multi-functional space, where electric pots, coffee machines, sparkling water, etc. are often used simultaneously for work/leisure.
Developing slash relationship
Staying at home to prevent the epidemic for more than a year has changed the dynamics of working and getting along with friends. Colleagues only meet each other on the computer, or only participate in voice interaction without seeing facial expressions; relatives and friends greet each other on the phone, or wave from a distance at the door to show slight concern; interpersonal relationships can only be maintained on the surface due to spatial distance. But family members living under the same roof are tied together 24/7, looking for personal space in a restricted environment, developing diverse "slash" relationships, and learning and adapting to alternative intimacy.
The people and space at home no longer have just one role or one function. For children returning home, the living room serves as the office during working hours, the fitness center after get off work, and the gathering place on Sundays.
The kitchen is where I prepare, cook, and serve employee meals (lunch) and family meals (dinner). It is a pantry for employees to relax, and it is also my gym.
My husband and I are not only husband and wife, but also business partners, running the "home" of life and work together. In the past, the workplace and family were separated, and changing space meant changing roles. In fact, home is still home, but the slash has expanded the originally fixed space and role functions. How to use slashes to separate spaces and roles while maintaining an intimate relationship with a healthy distance in the post-epidemic era is a subject without a textbook.
▲The employees/children each occupy their own space and set up their own work layout. (schematic diagram)
Work from home, everyone has their own territory
Since my husband works from home, the master bedroom has become an office. He is dedicated and turns on the computer at 7:30 every morning. Of course, he didn't want a woman lying in bed with her eyes bleary-eyed to appear in the video. Therefore, I moved from the main hall to the side hall-guest room/laundry room.
Working from home saves you time on commuting, but it actually lengthens your working hours. Every time I want to go into the room to get something, change clothes, or take a shower, I have to check whether my husband has turned on the video call and whether he will be "in the mirror" when I walk over. This is also a very troublesome routine. The children believe that their working and sleeping spaces need to be separated, so they mark different areas in different corners of the living room and TV room, facing the most convenient angles for the Internet.
There is an L-shaped desk in the living room, with my son's electronic keyboard placed next to it. The passage is full of winding wires; all kinds of spare USBs, snacks, instant noodles, etc. occupy the tabletop of the dining table; the belongings they brought back from school are scattered here and there. throughout. My home has become a messy studio/warehouse. It is no longer my carefully arranged and well-organized living space, but more like a concession divided by various countries after the Eight-Power Allied Forces.
The housewife who lost her territory
I prepare staff meals according to the schedule they gave me every day. After finishing the meal, the employees go to the pantry to chat, drink tea, and scroll through their mobile phones. I took advantage of my free time to go out and replenish supplies. When I got home, before I could even sterilize the bottles and bags on my hands, my family members after get off work came to ask me what I wanted to eat for dinner!
Sometimes I was having an interesting chat with my friends on the phone, and an employee came to remind me that a work meeting was in progress, so I had to hang up in a hurry. After cleaning up after dinner, I wanted to take a short break in the TV room. I saw the children sitting on the floor playing puzzles, talking and laughing, so I decided to go back to the side hall!
The constant cooking of meals every day, the minor inconveniences, the severe epidemic, the endless disinfection SOPs...the emotions accumulated bit by bit gradually turned into invisible gunpowder.
I originally thought that the epidemic prevention days would only last a few months, but as spring passed and autumn came, snowflakes began to fall, and the flowers bloomed. Touching my rough hands (caused by spraying too much disinfectant), and watching YouTubers introduce the beautiful scenery and food of Taiwan (I am fascinated and greedy), I feel aggrieved and helpless, and a small anger is smoldering in my heart.
Then, my husband said the wrong thing to me at the wrong time and in the wrong tone! Just like that, I exploded!
▲ After more than a year of epidemic prevention, I cooked three meals a day until I was no longer creative, exhausted, and angry. The picture shows the author's creation/meal in the kitchen.
Running away from home with nowhere to go
With tears streaming down her face, she grabbed her anti-epidemic equipment, rushed out of the house, and jumped into the car. The evening was slightly chilly, so I drove forward quickly, thinking of chasing the sunset and looking for a trace of warmth in the distance. For several months, I couldn’t enter and exit my bedroom at will, and I couldn’t enjoy chatting and laughing with my friends. From being an empty-nest mother to a cook in the staff restaurant, one self-perceived grievance kept appearing like a marquee.
"Think I am 7-11! I can provide services according to your needs!"
"I also need my own space, don't take my service for granted!"
The OS in my heart burst out one by one, hum! Don't think I'm easy to control...
When I was depressed before, I would call my best friend S to meet and express my sorrow. Now we can’t meet for coffee and talk face to face.
I also went to see my best friend J in the past. J lives in a city in the north and often invites me to her place to "have fun". Now I go to find her. I can't be in the same room with her, and I don't dare to stay in a hotel. Besides, we still need to drive for three or four hours. What if we have to go to the toilet on the way?
Park the car on the banks of the Hudson River and look at the high-rise buildings in Manhattan on the other side, reflected in the sparkling waves. Get out of the car and take a stroll to cool down. The wind by the river is like an ice knife, blowing through the coat and blowing into the heart, but it also blows out the fire in the heart and disintegrates the ice. Looking around, the afterglow of the setting sun spreads a layer of gold dust on the couples snuggling together and the parents and children laughing and chasing each other. In this crowded city, everyone is experiencing the virus attack together. Who is not restricted by the environment? Who doesn’t feel depressed and upset? Aren’t they all trying to find a comfortable foothold amidst the epidemic and space constraints?
In the car, they had "three phone calls" with S & J. They felt very sad. Although the difficulties faced are different, the long-term prevention of the epidemic at home has accumulated a lot of emotions, waiting to be expressed. They suggested that I buy a delicious meal and enjoy my own space and time in the car. Looking at the crowds of people queuing up at the store, I gave up.
For the sake of face, I don’t want to go home during dinner time. Driving the car to the street near my home, S & J chatted with me. We laughed and sang loudly, and it felt like the car was vibrating with laughter.
After being away from home for more than four hours, I really couldn't help but use the toilet, so I had to go home. Walking into the house, the president and employees have come off work and become husbands and children. They have bought a table of dishes and are about to enjoy them. When they saw me coming in, my mom and dad gathered around me and ate together, as if nothing had happened. Everyone (except me) enjoyed the dinner while talking and laughing.
Of course, I returned to being the person in charge of the staff restaurant, washing dishes and tidying up the tables, as if it had just been opened.
▲Running away from home but having nowhere to go, looking at the beautiful scenery, can the author find his own space and role?
Sort out your emotions and see the beauty
Life coach Li Wenping once said: "Emotions are like water. Water can carry a boat, but it can also overturn it." She mentioned in the "Steady in the Rapids, Walking in the Broad" emotional management course sponsored by KRC that we need to understand and Only by acknowledging the existence of negative emotions can we become the master of the emotions and deal with them.
These negative emotions that sink in due to change and stress affect our interpersonal relationships and influence our thoughts and feelings about events. It is a fact that space is occupied by family members who work from home. "They occupy my space" is my thought. "They are not respected" is my feeling. Understanding your emotions can help you analyze yourself and clarify facts, thoughts and feelings.
▲Good communication is the first step to reduce stress. After communicating with employees/family members, everyone understands the hard work of the chef/mother. The picture shows that after communication, the rookie employee/daughter and the president/father cook and add ingredients to the employees’ afternoon tea.
Good communication is the first step to reduce stress. After the "leaving home incident", the children gave me a desk and decorated my "side palace" with a "writer's feel". They said that mom is very hard-working, has many things to do every day, and also loves to write. She needs a beautiful and practical desk so that she can enjoy the joy of creation. My husband bought me a big screen so that I don’t have to squint when processing documents.
I made a pact with the "staff" in the office that the daily menu would be a "chef's special" - it changes based on my preferences and leftovers, so I don't have to be picky. If the chef is tired of cooking, he can order takeout with the employees, and the president will pay the bill. Whether it is the "office" during working hours or the "living room" after get off work, you manage your own territory; the home furnishings focus on cleanliness and pragmatism, as long as everyone can enjoy it and there is no pressure.
I have set up a coffee corner in the corner of the kitchen, and two types of coffee machines are ready to serve the hard-working employees. My husband also bought a sparkling water machine so he can enjoy stylish drinks at any time. With a little decoration, that corner has a cafe atmosphere.
It's freezing cold and it's not suitable to go out, so we often hold a "Chinese Learning Club" on weekends - playing mahjong, and the children memorize a few simple mahjong characters by heart. On weekends, movie theaters sometimes show trendy movies to enjoy the "returning period" Family fun.
Recently, I was talking to a good friend/mentor/colleague on the phone. She had just finished teaching a class on Zoom, and I had just finished an online meeting. We used the time to chat while washing the dishes. Suddenly, I feel like I have access to the classroom and the kitchen. I feel so grateful to have such a seamless connection between work and housework!
At my son’s wedding, I was the officiant/driver/venue organizer/delivery person wearing a dress and carrying everything home late at night. Limitations allow us to reach our potential and reveal the limitlessness of God within us.
Psalm 16:6 says: “The bounds of the land that was measured to me are in a good place; my inheritance is indeed good.” The environment we live in is given by God. We must feel it from the heart first, and then we can see the location with our eyes. What a beautiful place. I hope that my more and more diversified slash relationships with others will more and more reveal the goodness given by God.
Yanon, an unprofessional full-time housewife and literary worker, sometimes writing, sometimes cooking, sometimes managing trivial matters; trying to live the life of a virtuous woman.