Confessions of a Dandelion
For you who are struggling with your self-image
When I was young, my family's financial situation was not good. In order to save money, the clothes worn by the four girls were all made by their mother. Moreover, a piece of clothing is often given to the second child when the eldest child outgrows it, and then to the third child when the second child outgrows it. As the fourth child, I have almost no chance to wear new clothes. My mother, who is busy with household chores every day, makes the clothes for us as simple as possible.
In school, I always feel envious when I see other students wearing beautiful little floral skirts. Especially the kind of skirt that has two straps on the waist and can be tied with a beautiful bow behind the back; in my heart, that kind of skirt is for little princesses. If I can have a skirt like that, I will be a little princess. .
Unfortunately, I never had such a skirt. It wasn't until I went abroad to study for graduate school that I had the opportunity to use the remaining money from my scholarship to buy a skirt like this at a clearance sale.
The inconspicuous dandelion
I resent God, why can’t I be a little princess like others? Why would He put me in such a poor environment? I wish I could be as beautiful and bright as a rose! So attention grabbing! And God actually created me as a little dandelion, inconspicuous and without any value.
"Don't you like dandelions?" God took me to an endless grassland, where there were lush green grass and countless dandelions."The dandelion may not have attracted the attention of many people, but it still lives in peace, joy, freedom and hope. It can still express heartfelt praise to its Creator!"
ah! Yes! It turns out that what caused me to struggle with self-hatred, self-pity, and self-pity for so many years was not that God didn’t love me, or the poverty of my childhood environment; it was my pride, vanity, and self-centeredness.
What's wrong with dandelions? God created it, nourished it, and was more pleased with its praise to God. Its seeds, when the wind blows, spread all over the prairie, and people can't get rid of them even if they want to. Isn’t the gospel like dandelion seeds? What's wrong with being a dandelion? It has countless opportunities for evangelism!
I hope I am a rose, but I just hope to be envied and praised by others. It turned out that what was hidden under my pitiful low self-esteem was actually abominable pride. No wonder some people say, "Poor people must be hateful." I humbled myself before God, admitted my sins of pride, vanity, and self-centeredness, and accepted God's creation and guidance in me.
Pride and inferiority
Pride and inferiority are two sides of the same coin. If I had never expected myself to be a rose, then I would not feel inferior when I found out that I was just a dandelion; if I had never expected myself to be 1.7 meters tall, then I would not have been sad when I found out that I was only 1.5 meters tall.
The origin of low self-esteem is actually pride, and people often want to use pride to solve the problem of low self-esteem. Most people don't want others to know that they have low self-esteem, so they cover it up with pride. This is how people are, under pride there is inferiority, under inferiority there is pride, so they wrap themselves up layer by layer. When we discover that we are nothing but dandelions, we often want to dress ourselves up as roses, or try our best to turn ourselves into roses, but deep down we know clearly that we are actually nothing more than dandelions.
We are also afraid that one day when the fake rose disguise disappears, we will turn back into an inconspicuous dandelion. Therefore, many celebrities choose to end their lives at the height of their fame. Because no one in the world will be a brilliant rose all his life.
Sometimes, we will also indulge in the TV series "The Legend of the Condor Heroes" and "Huanzhuggege", fantasizing about ourselves as "Little Dragon Girl" or "Little Swallow". Once we return to reality, we will be even more dissatisfied with the real environment, our husband, and even ourselves. Just because those stories are fiction and do not conform to reality; our husband is not "Yang Guo" or "Belle" in the story at all.
Sometimes, if we ourselves cannot become roses that everyone admires, we hope to give birth to famous flowers that everyone admires. So, we desperately force our children to read, play piano, and dance ballet... However, when their children grow older, more than 95% of such parents will feel disappointed and frustrated. Because, the proportion of enviable gifted children in the world will not exceed 5%.
not only,When we comfort others, we often try to use pride to solve their inferiority complex.We would say: "Oh, although your salary is not as high as his, you are more popular than him!", "Hey, although your husband is not as considerate as her husband, your son is better than her son. !” As a result, instead of helping others solve their inferiority problem, we sugar coat their inferiority with pride. No wonder someone posted on the back of their car "My son is an outstanding student of such and such school", and then someone else posted on the back of their car "My son can beat up honor students." .
sources of inferiority
When God created man, he gave him the best; His own image. However, the devil tempts people to become dissatisfied with God's creation. The devil said, God created you in His own image and you are not good enough. You still need to eat this apple, and you will be better after eating it. So the man listened to the devil and ate the apple. But the result? Instead of getting better, people develop a sense of inferiority and become aware of their own nakedness.
The source of low self-esteem is that people are dissatisfied with God's creation and expect themselves to be more beautiful and better than what God created. As a result, a low self-image develops, and when people have a low self-image, they try to use pride to solve the problem. As it is written in the Book of Jeremiah: "...My people have done two evil things: They have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that cannot hold water." (2: 13)
It is an evil thing for man to be dissatisfied with God's creation and leave God. Later, people dug a pond by themselves, trying to use pride to solve the problem of inferiority. The result was that it was like a broken pond that could not hold water, and there was no way to solve it.
Resolve low self-esteem
The real solution to low self-esteem is not to cover it up with pride, but to return to God, humbly accept His creation, and give up your pride, vanity, and self-centeredness. If God created me as a dandelion, I would happily be a dandelion and do the work entrusted to me by God well and faithfully. The reward we will receive in the future will be the best (see Matthew Gospel 25:14-30). Therefore, the solution to low self-esteem is not pride, but humility.
Among the many flowers, many people like roses, but I only prefer dandelions growing in the wild. Because I am just such a little flower. Do you have the same idea as me?
Author profile
Chen Dechun, from Taiwan, obtained a master's degree in pharmacy and counseling after going to the United States. She is currently the pastor of the Chinese Church in Ruoge, New Jersey, and is studying for a doctorate in women's ministry at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary.