Handle conflict, even with children

"Children's Harmony Camp" Testimonial Chapter 2 "Children's Harmony Camp" that builds little angels of peace

▲The camp uses the stories of characters in the Bible as a reference to teach children how to "make choices" and become "peace messengers" who make peace with others.

For many couples with school-age children at home, the most likely reason to be hesitant or simply give up when attending a camp that requires an overnight stay is because "the children are not taken care of." My husband and I decided to participate in the "Couples and Children's Harmony Camp" organized by "Love and Conflict Reconciliation Ministry" in January 2018. In addition to being highly recommended by many friends who had participated in the Couples' Harmony Camp, it was also because "you can take your children with you." The "selling point" of "attending the meeting together".

I have always not had high expectations for the child care services provided by adult-oriented camps, but this three-day and two-night "Children's Harmony Camp" really surprised me and changed my expectations for "children's ministry". "the opinion of. The teachers, brothers and sisters who led the camp were not careless because the children were young. Instead, they used "life to influence life" and prayed a lot before the meeting, praying before God for these children. Let me see what it means to serve "dedicated and done to the youngest brother".

Tailor-made teaching materials

In the camp, the children followed the exciting and diverse program every day and "taught the classes according to the schedule." They were so excited and exhausted that they went back to the hotel room and fell asleep.

What children learn in the camp is based on the teachings of the Bible and uses the stories of characters in the Bible as a reference to learn how to "make choices" and become "peace messengers" who make peace with others. The conference specially designed teaching materials for children. The content is not only Chinese and English, but also includes phonetic symbols. The thoughtful arrangement and design are refreshing!

"Conflict is something that everyone will encounter in life. Although sometimes conflicts make us nervous when they occur, we do not need to be afraid of conflicts. The most important thing is that we know how to deal with conflicts." This is the first day of the Children's Harmony Camp , the most basic and important concept that children learn. Children have a correct understanding of conflicts, and then learn to face and sort out their emotions; clarify the causes of conflicts; and practice facing conflicts in appropriate ways.

little waiter

During the couple's "couple dinner" on the second night of the camp, the children received "pre-vocational training" from their elder brothers and sisters and learned to "go to sea" to serve their parents. After each couple dressed up and took their seats, the children filed in. Each of them politely described tonight's dishes in detail, and asked if there were any allergies or inedible foods. After confirming, they put one hand behind their back and held the food in the other. Holding the plate, carefully bend down and bring the food to the table. During the dinner, he asked diligently from time to time if he wanted tea? Are there any needs? Finally, after the parents and guests finished their meal, the children cleared the tableware one by one and bowed and said, "It's a pleasure to serve you tonight. Thank you for coming!"

Seeing their children serve so thoughtfully and courteously, all the parents in the room were so moved that they brought tears to their eyes! When the children lined up in a row after serving their parents and accepted everyone's thanks, every parent clapped their hands vigorously and cheered loudly for the children. It was really touching to see the children's young faces filled with joy as they served their parents, and how proud they were when they accepted the cheers and applause from their parents.

I believe most children are willing to serve. As long as you give them opportunities and encouragement, teach them not to let others look down upon their youth, value their own value in the eyes of the Lord, and try their best to offer the best, they can become good servants who are pleased with the Lord even though they are young. .

▲Children learn to express their feelings and thoughts when conflicts occur instead of suppressing their emotions.

No more boring gourds

Perhaps influenced by traditional culture, Chinese parents often only emphasize "results" regarding the value of "peace is the most important". The ending of "harmony at home and everything prospering" is the most important. As for how to achieve true "harmony" and the tortuous process that the road to reconciliation may go through, it is often not explored in depth. In the family, we are always used to teaching children that "the older ones should let the younger ones" and "the younger ones should listen to the older ones." It seems that one-way giving up or obeying can lead to a peaceful ending. For how to face the situation correctly? Regarding "conflict", this is an issue that everyone will experience, but is not born to deal with, and there is not enough learning.

Many times, whether children or adults, "go crazy" when faced with conflicts, it is often because they cannot truly express and describe their current feelings. When emotional storms come, they often only suppress or escape. After returning from the camp, I observed that when quarreling, my two sons had many more precise emotional adjectives than before. This was a big breakthrough for the boys who were not good at expressing themselves in words.

There is a six-year age difference between our two sons, and the eldest has a gentler personality. In the past, when the two brothers competed for toys, the older brother would often adopt the attitude of "Forget it, give it to the younger brother!" "Let him play with it this time!" . Although the problem seemed to be resolved peacefully on the surface, in the eyes of my husband and I, we felt that my brother was like a "soft persimmon" and we were worried that he would become a bully. But now before the elder brother gives in to his younger brother, he will first express his feelings and thoughts to his younger brother, for example: "You asked me to do this..., but because I love you and you are my younger brother, I decided..." instead of Be a slut or a doormat as usual.

Practice peace in your daily life

Interestingly, the brothers also used the conflict examples they learned in the camp to observe and demonstrate, and developed "conflict performance" into their daily game project - "practicing harmony" at home through role-playing. Watch two brothers pretending to quarrel over a toy, mouthing the "lines" from the camp textbook, and acting out how to face and handle conflicts, taking turns playing the role of a "selfish person" and the face of a "god of love" His lovely appearance made the couple smile unconsciously and thank the camp co-workers for their hard work from the bottom of our hearts.

Conflict is an experience that people cannot escape from childhood to adulthood. However, if it is not handled properly, it often leads to the breakdown of relationships and the pain that is difficult to heal. However, many people often have to wait until adulthood before they have the opportunity to learn how to deal with and face conflicts. to conflict. How blessed are these children to be able to learn the lesson of peace at a young age and understand that "every conflict is a time for us to glorify God, serve others, and learn to be like Christ." Let "conflict" become a gift from God to them. An opportunity for blessing.

Zi En wrote compositions when he was young and articles when he grew up. I used to write for myself, but now I hand the pen over to God. Cooking words to quench hunger cannot bring real spiritual satiety, but I would like to contribute five loaves and two fishes and bake word cookies to "appetite" readers, and then be willing to come into contact with the truth of faith and taste the taste of the Lord's grace.