Crisis or turnaround?

The transition period in the life of a cross-cultural missionary

Everyone is constantly experiencing various "transitions" in their lives. Just in case, transitions bring great or small impacts to our lives. Most people rarely think about the impact of these changes on their lives because their energy is spent on coping with these changes. If we can face all kinds of changes well, especially those that are challenging, we can turn crises into opportunities for growth.

"Change", an opportunity for growth?

In the winter many years ago, several friends and I were walking on a coastal mountain trail. It was very windy and cold. Looking up at the seaside, I saw about ten black balls floating on the shore. It turned out to be a group of elite winter surfers. They were wearing warm wetsuits, holding surfboards, and waiting for the big waves to arrive in the water. I feel deeply in my heart: For some people, big waves are a shock and may sink them. But for this group of surfers, it's the opportunity and challenge they're ready and waiting for.

Cross-cultural missionaries have to face many changes: leaving familiar family, friends and spiritual groups, entering a completely different language and cultural environment, and having to go home regularly to report on work progress, and co-workers around them also come and go... …. These are big changes, and after a long time in the factory, they will start to show wear and tear. They did not notice the impact of the change and thought that they could continue to achieve their service goals in a foreign land by relying solely on will or faith without making any adjustments.

"Transformation" is a very complex subject. How a person handles and faces changes is closely related to his growth background, personality, life situation, etc. The frequency of transition, the magnitude of the change (for example, from able-bodied to disabled), the type of transition, etc., all constitute impact factors. But the survey shows that the most important thing in facing changes is perspective.

No matter how big, sudden or difficult the change is, mentality and perspective directly affect people's ability to face various changes. Therefore, cross-cultural missionaries and all parties on the mission team need to understand how these changes will impact the client or those around them, and give them space to face and process them. Care for them in the process, learn to love truly, and help them grow and transform through transformation.

"End" is a courage

Although there are different types of transformation, the process is much the same. William Bridges divided a "transition" into three stages: ending, neutral zone, and new beginning. This breakdown can help us understand the entire transformation process more carefully.

The beginning of transformation must be the "end". Meaning: If you want to experience "change" well, you must "first" have a good "end".

I love watching the acrobatic troupe perform on the trapeze. The actors are dangling in the air, and their timing and technique must be accurate. The performer is flying in the air and changing handles during the performance. He must completely let go of the first handle and wait for his companion to catch him in an instant. If he is unwilling to let go of the old handle, he cannot turn to the new one.

When cross-cultural missionaries go to the field, it will be difficult for them to fully devote themselves to the development of the field if they are not sure of their calling or cannot let go of their families and past events. The same goes for missionaries who return to their home countries. When I returned to the United States from Asia, I thought I was done with the work in the field, but in reality I was not willing to end my service in Asia. Therefore, I was unable to fully engage in a new life and make a new start. In fact, in order to have a "new beginning", there must be a "good ending". This "good ending" does not mean completely cutting off old memories, relationships, etc., but it means that the heart no longer "holds" the memories, longings and security brought by the old identity or life, and is willing to step into an unknown world. , exploratory new areas.

Transformation requires great courage. Those trapeze artists are not 100% sure that they can catch the newbie's handle when they let go of the original handle. But if you don’t let go, you will definitely not be able to grasp the new handle. This courage is a key factor in being able to undergo transformation and turn crises into opportunities.

▲If the trapeze artist is unwilling to let go of the original handle, he cannot turn around and throw himself at the new handle.

A challenging "turning period"

The second stage of "transformation" is transition. This is not just a static "zone", but also a process (journey) and a stage (stage). Calling it a "transition period" or "adaptation period" can better reflect its actual meaning.

In real life, the "transition period" has no specific beginning or end, and its length cannot be predicted. For a cross-cultural missionary who has just left or returned to the country, he will have the following characteristics when he is in the "transition period":

The pressure has increased significantly: familiar people and things have disappeared, and most of them are unfamiliar and unknown. Arriving in a new environment does not mean the beginning of a new stage. Facing unfamiliar language, culture, customs and social rules, you will feel great pressure and worries, and you will need more energy to get through every day. During this "transition period", your body will be particularly tired.

The sense of self-worth and affirmation is shaken: the old phase is over and the new one has not yet begun. "Can the language really be mastered in a year? Can the new work really be carried out? Will I fail?"... Missionaries will be affected by these thoughts, and if they are serious, they will fall into mood swings. Unless your self-worth is clear, it’s easy to have self-doubt.

Eager to leave this stage as soon as possible: When missionaries first enter a new field, there are few things they can master. And some missionaries who return home after many years in the field find it even more challenging to adapt to life in their hometown. "Can I re-engage in the culture I am familiar with? Can I find a job? What is the direction ahead?"... All the unknowns make people not want to stay in such a time and space, and hope to enter a new stage as soon as possible. People who have difficulty entering a new stage naturally want to go back to the past and do not want to stay in a chaotic, fuzzy, uncontrollable, and uncertain state.

On the surface, it seems that some people cannot let go of the past and are unwilling to enter a new identity or a new stage. In fact, maybe he does not have the courage to face the uneasiness and anxiety in the "turning period"; or he may be exhausted mentally and physically to adapt to the "turning period"; or he may be afraid of being in an unpredictable "turning period", so he often cherishes the past and longs for stability. . However, these are normal emotions.

This "transition period" is extremely challenging, but also full of possibilities. How to transform it into a stage of growth in life?

▲Everyone is constantly experiencing various changes in life.

A "turning period" with great potential

Although the "turning period" is full of uncertainties and challenges, it is the best period to nurture new visions and new directions. As long as we are willing to carefully examine the emotions, thoughts and struggles that arise during this period, and are willing to open ourselves up to accept new ideas and things, we will surely succeed. Able to overcome current challenges. The following suggestions can help cross-cultural missionaries face the "turning point":

First of all, you must accept that you are in this stage: accept that during this period you may not be efficient, you may continue to fail (because you have to keep trying new things), you may have all kinds of inexplicable emotions or thoughts, etc. Once you accept your "chaos" and "incompetence" at this stage, you can give yourself space to explore and grow.

Cross-cultural missionaries need a community that understands and supports each other. There must be different voices rising and falling, but you must understand that everyone’s process is different: background, age, experience..., all aspects affect the transition process, so others may not necessarily understand the groping and struggles faced by missionaries. confusion.

Try new perspectives and methods: be willing to let go of past experiences, the "wisdom" or "instinct" accumulated in us. After a friend who was engaged in cross-cultural missionary work returned to the United States, she faced financial difficulties, difficulty in adapting, and various challenges. She felt like she was about to be overwhelmed. When she was talking to her life coach, the coach said, "Why don't you try to sink and stay in the water. I'm here, hold your hand, don't be afraid, feel what it feels like to sink." Her friend closed her eyes and imagined her. I sank into the water and found that it was very peaceful and very comfortable to be in it. She wasn't afraid of drowning because she knew how to swim and knew her coach was holding her hand.

This experience helped her break through her fear. Instinct told her that when she was submerged, she should try to keep her head above the water instead of sinking into the water. But what if you sink in water and don’t drown? What if she could swim and the water wasn't a threat to her? Our survival instinct sometimes causes us to forget that our Heavenly Father will not let us go. Try and explore boldly to see clearly the environment you are in, or that there are many possibilities here, instead of just using instinct to solve problems.

Give yourself space and time to experience: Don’t be afraid to try new ideas and practices, and give yourself time and space to fully explore the “turning period.” Talking to a friend who is willing to listen can help sort through the chaos and gain stability in the process. These friends also need to ask questions honestly with an attitude of accountability. When we have the space to freely try and explore, we will develop new perspectives and renew our lives again.

New beginning

After the "turning period", we are approaching the end of the transformation process: entering a new beginning. We cannot predict when we will go through the "turning period" and be "ready" for a new beginning, because "ready" is a state of mind. How do you know you are ready to start a new journey? The most obvious thing is to generate new expectations and motivation for the people and things we will face. I am willing to have a new role, enter a new environment, have the strength to face new challenges, and have new goals.

This is different from the motivation generated by longing when you know you are going to face a change. For example, cross-cultural missionaries clearly understand the call to go on missionary missions overseas. Before setting off, they always wonder about how good the outside world is and what great things they hope to do... Although there may be some fear, these negative emotions are inconspicuous compared to longing. Of course, these longings will definitely bring expectations and motivation, but it is a kind of motivation that has not been "refined". The real challenge is the various discomforts and unfamiliar loneliness experienced after landing. When cross-cultural workers experience these shocks, the expectations and motivation they develop are the motivation to truly prepare themselves to enter a new stage.

▲Give yourself space and time, cultivate new perspectives and understand yourself, use the stored strength in the new stage, face challenges, and spread your wings to fly high.

Conclusion

Cross-cultural workers experience a variety of transitions, large and small, every day. The transformation process is complex, and a change in one party means affecting all parties. The new perspective and understanding of oneself fostered in the "turning period" can help missionaries move more steadily in the new stage and have a broader world.

In the "turning period", although there is no direction, it is a stage of storing strength and preparation. In the new stage, you can use the stored strength to spread your wings and fly high! May we still face ourselves honestly amidst the impact of various changes and turn different challenges into opportunities for life growth.

Jiajia, was a cross-cultural missionary and currently serves as missionary care and counseling.