Issue 34
Kingdom Knowledge & Practice

How to touch the heart of Heavenly Father?

[Whisper of the Shepherd] 6

After Sunday worship, I then attended a Sunday school teachers’ meeting. As soon as the meeting was over, I drove to my eldest son Kaiwen’s house, which is only 45 minutes away from my home in Pennsylvania. The four grandchildren, Aidan, Jana, Cara and Liam, aged seven, five, three and one respectively, are boys and girls. They are all playing in the basement.


The three older ones were playing together and immediately pulled me in. Liam, the youngest, was far away by the wall, walking with his own support. When he heard my voice, he looked back at me (thinking about it now, that moment is an eternal look back, Deeply impressed in my heart), then crawled over step by step, climbed on top of me and asked me to hug him.


This child will be one year old in a month. He has loved to laugh since he was a child. Just look at him and he will smile. His uncle Kaili said: "Liam always seems to be looking for an opportunity to laugh. As long as anyone looks at him, he will laugh." Really, I have never seen him cry.

I want to be your residence


After dinner that day, before going to bed, the children had to take a bath. The youngest one was washed first, and then the three older ones were washed together. The father was responsible for bathing the children. I said, "After the baby is washed, I will go back." This was also the first time I watched him take a bath. After washing, she was carried downstairs, dried and put on pajamas. Finally, when it was the older one's turn to go upstairs to wash, I was ready to go home.


I started to put on my coat. When Liam saw me putting on my clothes, suddenly his whole face, eyes, nose, and mouth wrinkled together. His eyes showed panic and disappointment, and he was about to cry - he didn't want me to leave! Wonderful, so small, how did he know that I was leaving when I put on my coat? And why would he be reluctant to leave me? He can't speak yet, but what is going on in his little head? His mother said, "He never did that to me!" When I got home and told Kaili, Kaili also said, "He never did that to me! (He never did that to me!)"


The feelings between people are two-way, and the same is true with God. Love always hopes to be reciprocated. Now that I was getting dressed and about to leave, he started crying. This moved me very much! When I got home and was lying on the bed about to sleep, I prayed: "Father! I love You so much. Lord! Don't go, I want You to stay, I want to be Your dwelling place... I love You in my heart, and I want You to do your will." I don’t want anything I think, say, or do to grieve the Holy Spirit...” As he spoke, he fell asleep.

Lord's sweetheart


A few days later, I found this written in my diary: "I miss Liam. I wonder, Heavenly Father, do you miss me too? I am going to visit Liam and his brother and sister next Monday. They." I thought that after the Lord's resurrection, the angels announced the good news: "...Jesus, He has been resurrected...you can go and tell His disciples and Peter."


Why did the Lord mention Peter specifically?


Didn't I say that? People have feelings, and feelings are two-way, and feelings come from God, so God must do the same! I know God is not partial, but there are some people He especially likes! Although David failed miserably, God missed David's tent (see Amos 9:11; Acts 15:16). When God was angry, he revealed: "Even though Moses and Samuel stand before me to intercede, my heart does not spare this people! ” (Refer to Jeremiah 15:1) In other words, God listens to some people’s prayers better (see Psalm 99:6; Ezekiel 14:14). May we become the sweethearts of our Heavenly Father because of our longing for Him!


Over the years of our journey as a family member, we have learned to put down our agendas and bring ourselves into the presence of the Father, showing Him so that He can enjoy us and we can enjoy Him. You don’t have to be busy doing anything to please the Lord. You have to get close to the Lord’s heart and say to the Lord: “I love you, I miss you…” Let God’s heart be satisfied, and then He will accomplish great things.

Days of transformation


Last year (2012) around Easter was a special day in my life. Suddenly I felt that I had changed. Something emerged from my life. I felt like a caterpillar passing through a cocoon and turning into a butterfly. Coming out of myself, I seem to be able to spread my wings and fly. The sermons were less tense. The fear and barriers towards young people with different cultures have been removed, and there is more love to give out.


When I woke up early that morning, I had a thought: "Go to Allentown, Pennsylvania to see Pastor Ray, go with Charles and Tom, and also go see Gary, Christine, Lily and their families there." The counseling on the phone was full of love, and I almost couldn't bear it. I can't help but want to hug each other over the phone. While preparing the message, I thought about the dream that Mizu had clearly expressed to me decades ago, but that I had never realized. I felt that the body inside was maturing, like the dry bones on the plain growing tendons and flesh. This seemed to happen suddenly, but in fact it was gradual and took a long time in my life.


God once said to me:"You worm, Jacob!" (Refer to Isaiah 41:14)In the days of the caterpillar, it only eats and drinks to survive. When it reaches the chrysalis stage, it is completely dead. I wanted to give up many times, but God said:"You are my servant, I have chosen you and will not reject you." (Refer to Isaiah 41:9)It turns out that Jesus’ journey from crucifixion to resurrection was exactly God’s design and the path He wanted me to take. In Christ we are new creations, but after believing in the Lord we continue to transform. Only then did I understand God’s design, and I am truly grateful! I was praying with people on the phone line that day, and while I was sharing about the transformation of a caterpillar into a chrysalis and into a butterfly, I turned the calendar on my desk to the page of that day, and the picture that appeared was a butterfly spreading its wings. What a coincidence, right? God is speaking!


Author profile:

Pastor Xu Zongshi holds a Ph.D. in microbiology and a Master of Divinity from Trinity Theological Seminary in Chicago. He is currently the senior pastor of the Evangelization Center. Author of the book "Flying Out of the Bird Cage".