Indifference and true love
I talked on the phone with a very good friend for nearly two hours.
I feel very dull and depressed, and I want to find someone to talk to and pour out my emotions.
I'm also afraid of hurting other people's ears.
With the permission of my friend, I picked up a pen and wrote down my feelings...
This friend comes from a city in southern China and has a grandma, parents and a sister at home. On the phone, he told me about the various conflicts that occurred in his family and how people get along with each other.
The heart is higher than the sky, life is thinner than paper
His grandmother is old, and his sister lives with her after the divorce, taking care of the elderly's daily life. Although his parents have retired, they have no intention of taking care of the elderly. In addition, they are addicted to pyramid schemes. They run out every day and are busy participating in various activities and offline. They rarely ask about the elderly's affairs. Therefore, the old man complained repeatedly behind his back, but smiled in front of them, for fear of offending his only son.
His sister is a kind-hearted person and takes care of her wholeheartedly. The old man's living expenses are also covered. But my sister's marriage was unhappy and she had little education. Her parents always looked down on her and thought she was worthless. When it comes to spending money for the elderly, her attitude is even colder - "Who asked you to spend it, you are willing to spend it!" Such words often hurt her heart. My parents rarely say words of encouragement to my sister. They always say: "Whatever she does, she can't do anything! Whatever she eats, there's not enough!"
According to friends, the relationship between his parents is also very tense. My mother often disliked my father for being incompetent and unable to make a lot of money. She did not divorce because of face and fear of being laughed at. She is also like a strong woman, always trying to find ways to make money. However, "My heart is as high as the sky, and my life is as thin as paper." I have thought of many ideas, but have achieved nothing!
In such a family, no one can feel a trace of warmth, and some just complain and scold. Although this friend is in the United States, he frowns every time he thinks of his hometown. Every time he talked to his family on the phone, they always responded perfunctorily and did not listen to his suggestions at all. He really felt that he had more than enough ambition but not enough power...
Money and power are omnipotent, get intoxicated with it
After I put down the phone, I felt a little more desolate, heavy, and a little confused. Ask yourself, where is the true love? How could family love fall to this level? Talk about being filial to the elderly and being a parent, but in the end, they all give in for money. Everyone can do it for me, but there is no way for me to do it for everyone! Could it be that this is the common mentality of the world?
Today, in a society where money is paramount and material desires prevail, money and power seem to have become the focus of people's lives. People live only for false dignity or friendship. People have lost themselves or even given up on themselves. Even personality and self-esteem, the last line of spiritual defense, can be dispensed with. What else is worth retaining?
People's attitude towards things other than money and power has become frighteningly cold. A popular jingle in society: "If you have power, you have money; if you don't have power, you have to have money; if you don't have power, you have to have money; if you don't have money, you have no power, just relax." It seems that there is only a naked interest relationship between people, and what is even more terrifying is Yes, this phenomenon has seeped into family life.
The ties of family affection and true love in modern families are becoming increasingly indifferent, replaced by the expansion of selfish desires and the spread of individualism. Husband and wife are like tenants living in the same room; they think about how to use each other to gain more benefits for themselves. The attitude towards marriage is like playing a game, lacking sincerity, confidence and patience. As long as you feel dissatisfied, you will break up.
Faced with these phenomena, I can’t help but ask: “What are people really thinking?”
In fact, if you think about it carefully, it is not difficult to find that behind this indifference to love and fanaticism for money and power is people's helplessness and drifting with the crowd. "Everyone is making money and power, but I don't do that. Isn’t it a disadvantage? Besides, if you don’t have money or power, who will respect you? How about your husband and wife? What about your parents?” At the same time, these phenomena also reflect people’s self-paralysis mentality; they think that money and power are the only things that matter. Almighty, the mistake is to regard the short-term dignity and fictitious friendship gained from it as reality, and be intoxicated in it without ever returning.
▲The unexpected plot of "A Christmas Gift" by the famous American writer O. Henry makes people understand better that true love means treating each other sincerely and giving selflessly. There are many editions of this book, some of which are accompanied by illustrations by famous artists.
Treat each other sincerely and give selflessly
What is the measure of true love? I remembered that in my middle school English class, I studied the touching love story of the famous American writer O. Henry (1862-1910) - "The Gift of the Magi" (The Gift of the Magi). The hero and heroine of the story are a young couple. They lived in poverty but loved each other very much. The hero has a beloved pocket watch, but no watch chain. The heroine has beautiful long hair, but no comb.
Christmas is coming, and young couples hope to give each other a gift to express their love. They love each other deeply and know each other's needs. But because they were short of money, neither of them had enough money to buy gifts, so each of them quietly sold their most cherished things and bought the gifts that the other party needed most. When they exchanged gifts, the two of them turned from surprise to tears of laughter: It turned out that the husband sold his beloved pocket watch and bought a beautiful comb for his wife; the wife sold her beloved long hair and bought a beautiful comb for her husband. Exquisite watch chain.
Yes, true love is expressed in sincere treatment of each other and selfless giving, rather than based on the measurement of money and power. The broad sense of love described in the Bible:
Love is patient, love is kind; love does not envy;
Love does not boast, is not arrogant, does not do anything shameful,
does not seek its own, is slow to anger,
It does not take into account other people’s wrongdoings, it does not rejoice in injustice, it only rejoices in the truth;
Bear all things, believe all things,
Hope all things, endure all things;
Love never ends. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
Before I became a Christian, I could not understand and find it difficult to accept the definition of love in the Bible because I was a selfish person. Although I also have love, that is an attribute I can only have if it does not harm my own interests. Especially after marriage, conflicts of interest often occur between the wife and her family. Not only did these conflicts hurt our relationship, they also left me mentally exhausted and emotionally drained. I've tried to change myself, but I don't know where to start? I don’t have a strong motivation in my heart, and I often have a beginning but no end.
After becoming a Christian, I gained motivation and had an unchanging goal in life—obeying the words of the Lord Jesus. The Lord’s teachings pointed out my problems, and the Bible was my guiding light. I long to change myself, break away from the bondage of sin and injustice, and become a brand new person. Slowly, I can accept this definition of love and try to act according to those standards in real life; I learn to cherish the love others have for me and actively give my own love.
After that, my parents said I had changed - I was more sensible, my wife said I had changed - I was more cute, and my friends also said I had changed - I was more approachable. Although I still often make mistakes, God’s words often wake me up and encourage me. As Galatians 6:7 records:"Do not be deceived, for God will not be mocked. Whatever a man sows, that will he also reap."I gradually understood: only by personally spreading the seeds of love can one harvest the fruits of love; only by personally tasting the taste of love can one know the sweetness of loving and being loved.
Dear friends, if we don’t use love, our hearts will gradually dry up. On the contrary, if we all love others more, the world will become more beautiful, and everyone will become more lovely because of this world!
You said, right?
Author profile
Jiang Yang, from China, now living in Virginia, USA, has been engaged in brain function research for many years. Marriage has experienced God’s correction and discipline, and has also witnessed God’s grace and love.