Love, it's never too late

【Hope always exists】3

▲Deng Xiaoyun (back left) took a photo with her mother, brother-in-law and nephew when she returned to China in 2008.

A rapid ringtone broke the silence, and I woke up from my dream and grabbed the phone. My sister-in-law in China told me anxiously that my mother had not rested for a week, her blood pressure began to soar, and it was her brother who caused the problem.

My brother once helped a friend act as a middleman for a loan. Now that the debtor has escaped, the creditor sent a group of "little brothers" to stay at my mother's house day and night to collect debts from my brother. The creditor said that if the brother didn't help find the debtor, he would have to pay him back. It was already the twenty-fifth day of the twelfth lunar month, and the half-grown children only obeyed the orders of their "eldest brother." No matter how hard their mother coaxed them, they couldn't get rid of them. They were so angry and anxious that they fell ill.

I suggested that my mother call the police, but she said it was better not to alert the police. Firstly, I have already registered as a "celebrity" there; secondly, those who open underground banks are not kind-hearted people and cannot afford to offend. In the end, I had to remit a sum of money so that my mother could celebrate the New Year safely.

Shortly after the incident subsided, my mother was hospitalized again for a minor stroke. Due to the divorce of her brother and sister-in-law, she was unable to enjoy a happy family life in her old age, and had to face the situation of family breakup and emotional distress, which was both sad and helpless.

I am very angry with my brother. He is almost fifty years old. He does not fulfill his responsibilities to his wife and children, and does not support his mother. He has been causing trouble all his life, causing endless harm and trouble to his family.

The family anomaly that gives us headaches

My brother is considered an "extraterrestrial" in our family. Both my parents are engaged in education. I have won awards in school year after year and have excellent academic performance. However, my brother often gets into fights and gets into trouble, which causes headaches for both teachers and parents.

I remember that when I was in junior high school, my brother and I went to the same school. At the end of each semester, my parents didn’t want to go to my brother’s parent-teacher conference, so they sent me. I felt very embarrassed every time. I always walked up to the teacher with my head lowered. I took my brother’s report card and wanted to run away, because he was always at the bottom of the class and had to be left alone to talk to me. As a general manager, I felt very embarrassed. For someone who is being praised, that is extremely humiliating. The teacher and my parents were very familiar with each other. When he saw me running away, he had no choice but to shout loudly behind me: "Please, your parents, please come to school some time!" That voice was like a nightmare, haunting me and becoming something I can never wash away. shame.

Brother dropped out of high school before graduating and got acquainted with gangs in society. Because of his bravery in fighting, he quickly became a local tyrant. His father arranged for him to join the factory as a worker. After just a few days of work, his enemies came to the factory with people and weapons to seek revenge on him. He rushed into the factory security department, grabbed a machine gun and went straight to the door. He fought with the opponent at the factory gate. If If the police had not arrived in time, I might have died. Ten of the eleven people who participated in the armed fight that day were under the age of eighteen, and they were all sent to the labor camp.

Three years later, when his term in the labor camp expired, I wrote a sincere letter of repentance from the labor camp to my parents, hoping that their parents would take him home. My father insisted on severing the father-son relationship with my brother and never letting him go home. I raised my hands to stand by my father's side. However, my mother burst into tears and had a big quarrel with my father. She took a train, changed a car, and then took a tractor alone from the farm in northern Hubei. Brought my brother home.

My brother did not repent after he came back. He met more "heroes" in the labor camp and became more aggressive. He went in and out of the public security bureau as if he were going to a restaurant. After his father passed away, his mother was even less able to control him. In addition to fighting and gambling, he also became addicted to drugs. In order to buy drugs, he dismantled the air conditioner at home, moved the refrigerator, and even threatened his mother with a knife to ask for money...

Open your wings of prayer to him

For many years, I have only hated my brother. I hated him for bringing shame to our family, I hated him for making my father angry to death, I hated him for being inhumane, for being indifferent to his wife and children, and for being unfilial to his mother. Although I have believed in the Lord for many years, I prayed for my mother and sister-in-law, but I did not want to pray for him. I thought that such a heinous person should go to hell.

One day, during Sunday worship, the worship team sang "Precious Cross". My heart felt like a punch, and every word of the lyrics struck me. At this time, a voice floated into my ears: "There is no one who is so sinful that Jesus cannot save, and there is no one who is completely upright and does not need Jesus' salvation." Jesus laid down his life and shed blood for everyone in the world, but I built a high wall with resentment. , blocking salvation from coming to my brother; I am a sinner who is mercied and forgiven by God, but I am unwilling to show mercy and forgive my brothers and sisters.

That night, I couldn't sleep again. When I looked back at my brother's life, I realized that I had never entered his inner world. During the turbulent years of the Cultural Revolution, I chose to respond to the hurt with tears and avoidance, and he chose to deal with humiliation with fists; I used my brilliant achievements and performance to prove my worth, and he could only satisfy his self-esteem with the authority he received in front of his "buddies", but That's what he paid for with the scars on his flesh and blood body. He was deeply controlled by darkness and tried to quit drugs many times but could not completely break away from the bondage. He once said to his son with emotion: "Don't be like me when you grow up!" This must contain a lot of regret.

Unable to suppress my racing thoughts, I got up and took out a pen and paper. I just wrote: "Brother, how are you?" Tears burst into my eyes. In more than 40 years, I have never called him "brother", and I have never expressed my care and compassion to him. At this moment, when his wife is separated and his life is facing a storm, I want to tell him: "Jesus loves you, and I love you too." .

As the letter was mailed, my prayers spread their wings.