From spiritual aristocracy to common people
【Reflections on Literary Service】
I've been thinking a lot lately about the difference between concept and reality. Concepts are the ideas sketched in the mind, while reality is the practice of moving from abstraction to concreteness and giving life to flesh and blood.
For most authors, I am afraid that they are much better at dealing with concepts than with reality. The way we deal with life is often with words, and when we enter the world, we use a pen to open the way. All kinds of love, hate, and resentment belonging to the ego in the world of mortals make us live with sharp pains that pierce our hearts. But any love or sacrifice related to the greater self is more about words on paper than practice in life. Symbols, metaphors or adjectives related to life can be very vivid and strong, but when you really want to embody them in life, you will find that the Chinese saying: "A useless scholar is a scholar" really makes sense. .
The dilemma often seen among scholars is that they write generously but have a shy personality; they have a bold mind but have no idea when doing things and find it difficult to move forward.For those of us who often wander around in words, we are best at arranging ideas in our minds, giving directions, and creating stories that let us say whatever we want.
It may be difficult for non-literate people to understand that the rich satisfaction brought by reading and writing is incomparable, because the written world itself is a universe of its own. Each article is like a monologue, expressing oneself and inspiring readers. The tension and brainstorming stimulated by the dialogue between readers and other authors make all aspects of real life pale in comparison.
This also forms a process of developing an author, which often involves spending time with books day and night, pondering words and exercising thoughts every day. Created in this way, one after another "spiritual aristocrats" are becoming more and more self-absorbed, admiring themselves, and striving to maintain a pure and pure self-universe. However, this is where the author's crisis lies. The crisis for Christian authors is even greater here!
Maybe, there are some people like me who have become monks on the way. They did not know that they could write in the first half of their lives. They have also gained some experience in life and have many survival skills, but they are not useless yet. But what I want to point out is that if you like the direction of the text, it is easy to become egoistic or even narcissistic. The so-called artistic temperament means that only by being self-absorbed can one talk about style, but because of this, there will be certain disabilities in people and love.
When I was called to writing in the early days, I only saw how my pen would be sharpened and used by God. At that time, I was fighting in the written world and speaking out for God in radio speeches, but my interpersonal relationships in life were minimized.Every time I went to the mother church at that time for Sunday worship, it was like a daughter returning to her parents’ home, where she could enjoy some rest and was never asked to do any service. Little did I know at the time that being protected and surrounded by such an environment was actually a kind of "behind closed doors" and a limitation in life.
Later, when she was sent out to plant churches, she was like a married daughter who had to do everything by herself and had to wash her hands and make soup. The ten years of training as a steward and servant in the church have dragged me from the clouds to the earth. One Valentine's Day, the entire group's children were dropped off at our house, and then all the couples went on dates, leaving only my husband and I to take care of the children. A room full of elementary school-age children shuttled noisily, and the time felt extremely long. After waiting for a long time, I received a call from the other end saying that because it was Valentine's Day and because it was a good restaurant, they were still queuing and had not yet sat down to eat. When I hung up the phone, what came to my mind was that serving the smallest can really make you feel very small. This is really humbling learning!
▲God calls us to serve a wider audience.
In these years of church service, it can be said that I have gone from being a "canary in culture" (the name of one of my cultural lectures) to being reduced to an old hen on the ground; from a noble to a commoner, and to entering the lives of brothers and sisters in the church. , and go deep, tearing away the hands of domestic violence, wrapping their wounds, listening to their complaints and pain, and attending every call. God is training me, a scholar, not to just write without taking action in the Kingdom of God; not to just talk about concepts without taking action.
Thinking that this was not enough, God now called me to serve a creative organization. Moreover, I would serve a wider audience and have more opportunities for self-breakthrough. For example, traveling around to spread the word and serve the vision. When you are in a different place, you have to establish contact with different people on and off the stage; follow up through emails and lead different students. Can you imagine? How much conflict will there be between having a wide range of good "affinities" and my nature of wandering clouds and wild cranes? It involves a lot of letting go of ego and humility to learn. The important thing is not to have too many "I's".
Was there any struggle? Of course there is. When I was first recruited to give a speech, I asked again and again: Why me? What should be written, why should we talk about it? But because it was entrusted by God, I had no choice but to learn it obediently. Later, I learned not to ask, but to just learn. Sometimes I complain, but at least I can tell clearly that it's because I haven't learned my lesson yet, not why is it me? (It seems so unfortunate!)
I would also like to ask all Christian authors who hold pens, has God entrusted you with anything? usIs the object of service the words written by oneself? Or is it the literal service in the kingdom of God? Or, the life of a Christian author?Have you ever thought about it?
▲Word service in the kingdom of God = the life of a Christian author.
When we sing the song "People Need the Lord," I believe we all have no objection to preaching the gospel. But what if we replaced people with authors? Do we have a burden on other authors or authors? We will be moved like this: Should getting the author be like getting a fish?
When we hold literature camps, what we really care about is whether the souls of these students can be gained by God? Just because what we serve is not a concept, but faces one after another. We need to have a life influence with them. The relationship between teachers and students, and the relationship between colleagues and other authors should not just stop at exchanging words, but have more life influence.
When we attend different literary events (whether at literary conferences or online), meet different authors, and even identify Christian authors, do we have a personal burden toward them? Do we care whether their lives are gained by God or used by God?
If that song were changed to "Writers Need the Lord", wouldn't it be true? Or do authors need God more, to straighten their lives and guide their pens?
The Chinese say that "literati look down on each other." Christian authors must defeat this attributive, and we must support each other in the Lord. The unbelief of the world cannot invalidate the faithfulness of our God. The self-admiration of ordinary literati cannot abolish the love that we Christian authors should have. When the world sees us, it is because of love that we know we are Christians. This is true even in the field of writing.
The world knows that we are Christian authors, not because of our great books, beautiful words, or articles with life messages, but because of love, and only love. Without love and concern for the author, everything written in the text will be in vain. I hope that each of us who have "come down from heaven to the earth" will have a willing heart in the Lord, sincerely open up our lives and be used by God.
作者小檔案 莫非，現為創世紀文字培訓書苑主任。本文已收錄於她的新著《在永世裡拋擲一個身影》（宇宙光，2012）一書中。十八歲由臺灣赴美，曾任加州休斯飛機公司電腦工程師六年，後專事寫作，現定居洛杉磯。著有散文《不小心，我撿到了天堂》，與小說《六個女人的畫像》、《殘顏》等書。是標準的書癡，生活在腦中。