Face issue
【Mood Platter】Series 12
Want to save face
We often hear people say: "You have to die to save face and live to suffer." But in this world, there are really many people who choose to live and suffer.
Just like a person who "makes a fool of himself by pretending to be fat", it is a habitual bragging. As long as it is not exposed, he will keep pretending. Strangely enough, the more "no" people are, the more likely they are to create the illusion of "have".
Recently, a friend told me about an older lady who likes to talk about her great achievements in the past among the younger generation. The conversation box is open and the buzz is uninterrupted. "What does what she said have to do with me? I don't want to agree with it." I completely agree with my friend's point of view. If I were at the scene, I would probably put oil on the soles of my feet and escape first! But the friend had no choice: "You don't know, I was the driver that day, and she kept talking all the way..."
Finally, at a party, after personally interviewing this bragging professional, I learned from the outside that those brilliant achievements were not true. The final conclusion was: "Just listen, don't take it seriously!" Little did she know that this lady actually took other people's politeness as being very popular!
Usually people who care about face may have little confidence, so they need to be armed, or "pretend" to look powerful. I recall that where I used to work, there was a colleague who liked to wear gold and jade. Every day before opening the store, he would take off his jewelry, put them in a drawer, and start working again. In fact, the financial conditions of my colleagues are not really "very generous". They can take the trouble to take them up and down, of course, just to show it to outsiders.
He asked curiously: "Aren't you afraid that others will think bad things about you when you are walking on the street covered in jewelry like this?" The other party replied: "I would rather be seen as rich than poor." Another one wants to save face. case. The bragging wife uses her identity and experience to show off the persona she creates. She uses a way that seems vague on the surface, but deep down she wants to show off and boast. This route is a bit roundabout. In comparison, my colleagues who wear gold and jade are much simpler!
Who gives face to whom
No matter how you view "face", it is undeniable that "face" contains many meanings in interpersonal relationships. Especially among the Chinese, face represents identity, status, social resources... If you don't give face, it can cause disputes and quarrels between people, ethnic groups, and even countries... Let’s take a real-life case: How many men and women have failed to settle their marriages over bride price and dowry, sacrificing each other’s happiness for the sake of face? In this way, isn't the price that people pay for face too high?
By the way, the face culture of the Jews is no less than that of the Chinese. Luke 14:7-11 describes it this way:
When Jesus saw that the invited guests were choosing the first place, Jesus told them in a parable: "When you are invited to a marriage feast, do not sit in the first place, lest someone more distinguished than you be invited by him; Come and say to you, "Give up your seat to this one!" Then you retreat to the last seat in shame. When you are invited, you go and sit on the last seat so that the person who invites you can come to you. When you say, "Friend, take a seat," you will be distinguished in the presence of those who sit with you, for whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted."
On important wedding banquet occasions, although you may appear to be giving in to others, in your heart you want to sit in the first place and show off your status! Just imagine who would come uninvited and sit in the first place? This person must feel extremely good about himself. He is either ignorant or arrogant, which is completely representative of pride. In the end, he will be embarrassed and lose all face! On the other hand, the person who is invited to the first place is a match of virtue, which represents humility, and in fact, he has more face! Therefore Jesus said, whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.
Not afraid of embarrassment
There is a story that you must be familiar with, that is, the “woman at the well” mentioned in John 4. The Samaritan woman, who knew she was not welcome, chose a time at noon when no one was around to fetch water in order to avoid the crowds. This reluctance to show off is just to save face. However, when a woman receives the true fountain of life, her identity is affirmed, and her life is turned around by the Savior, she no longer fears losing face and can boldly see others as she really is!
Another famous figure, King David, had no "idol baggage" at all and was not afraid of "embarrassing" in front of everyone. 1 Chronicles Chapter 15 Verse 29 records that when the ark of the covenant of the Lord entered the city of Jerusalem, David’s wife, Michal, Saul’s daughter, looked out of the window and saw the noble King David dancing in the street. Feeling contemptuous. David responds to Michal by declaring that he is dancing and celebrating before the Lord, humbling himself even more and despising himself even more. (Refer to 2 Samuel 6:20-23)
David had nothing to hide and expressed his love for God. He was like an innocent child before God, worshiping freely and joyfully. What a beautiful scene! Unfortunately, Michal did not understand the true meaning of worship and praise.
Everyone has an attitude of protecting their own face, which reflects their inner status and abilities. The way to wear face is to be neither humble nor arrogant; to respect others is to give others face, and to treat oneself with dignity is to give oneself face. Usually, a truly full person will not be jealous, and there is no need to deliberately flaunt or hide his identity.
But how can life be fulfilled? Or how to view fullness? There is a saying: there is no harm without comparison. Do we always have to use the method of spiritual victory to comfort ourselves as Ah Q? Does poverty really limit imagination? How did the despised woman at the well compare to the beloved King David? Is it possible that a woman's fate is to fetch water at noon and not be able to hold her head up for the rest of her life?
Thank God for always accepting us as we are; as long as we are willing to connect with Him, we can regain our dignity. Whether it is the woman at the well or King David, there is no issue of face, because before God, you have to let go of yourself and worship Him in spirit and truth!
Miao Huitian, older and single, with money to travel but no money to take a walk. You can be lazy, diligent, active and at home; you can appreciate beautiful scenery, beautiful things, and beautiful things, and like good food, beautiful articles, and beautiful music.