What to do when severely hurt?

Hurt seems to be a part of life, and severe hurt often makes it even harder for the injured party to face. If one is truly severely hurt, what should be done?

To obtain practical and effective answers, we might gain inspiration from those who have successfully faced adversity.

Let's first mention the "degree of hurt." This is actually a rather subjective experience, meaning that the measurement of the severity of hurt usually lies with the victim. Nevertheless, there is a consensus on whether some injuries are severe. For example, a teenager being attacked by his own brothers acting together, pushed into a deep pit with murderous intent, then sold as a slave to a foreign land, while his loving father is deceived into believing he was eaten by wild animals.

Most likely you would agree that such an incident would be considered severe hurt for this young man:

1. Being conspired against and nearly killed by his own brothers who should have protected him; the knife of family is often sharper and more poisonous than that of strangers.
2. Being stripped of everything, including personal freedom;
3. Sold into slavery as a minor to a place where he had no acquaintances; his life's prospects seemed to be forcibly terminated before they had truly begun.

This is precisely what happened to 17-year-old Joseph (as described in Genesis chapters 37-50). Due to these sudden changes, Joseph immediately faced life-threatening pressure (the risk of being killed by his brothers), followed by survival pressure (how to stay alive as a slave in a foreign land).

It's not hard to imagine the emotional turmoil Joseph might have experienced.

Emotions and Stress

When we experience emotional turmoil, it's often due to significant stress and difficulties - environmental, relational, physical, and so on. Some stressors are extreme, involving matters of life and death; others are relatively minor, concerning the outcomes of various situations.

Generally speaking, stress can be divided into two types based on its nature: acute stress and chronic stress. These two types of stress manifest differently at the physiological level, the emotional and cognitive level (mind), and the spiritual level. After all, God created humans as a unity of body, mind, and spirit; when one part moves, it affects the whole, and changes in one aspect will be reflected in others. The advantage is that these three aspects can also promote and assist each other.

Joseph can be said to have experienced both "acute stress and chronic stress" simultaneously. Precisely because of this, his coping methods can provide us with significant inspiration.

What are acute stress and chronic stress?

Acute stress is typically caused by sudden events, such as unexpectedly encountering traffic congestion, accidentally getting injured, or experiencing intense conflict with someone.

Acute stress typically triggers the body's "three F" response: "Fight, Flight, or Freeze." During this time, the sympathetic nervous system is activated, releasing "stress hormones" such as adrenaline and cortisol. The purpose is to quickly put the body into a state of crisis response.

This God-given primary instinctive response can help us focus our attention and take action as quickly as possible. Although stress hormones put the body in an emergency state, temporarily suspending other non-urgent bodily functions (such as digestion), the short duration means it has little impact on health. Instead, it can help us overcome difficult situations.

Chronic stress, on the other hand, is the "chronic accumulation" of stress, transitioning from temporary to short-term, and from short-term to long-term. Examples include: persistent work-related stress, ongoing financial and livelihood pressures, endless emotional conflicts, environmental stressors with no end in sight.

The "persistence" of these stress sources makes it difficult for people to relax. Although the intensity may not be as severe as acute stress, "stress hormones" continue to be secreted, and hormones like cortisol remain at elevated levels for extended periods. As a result, the adverse effects on health become significant, impacting: immune system function, gastrointestinal health, emotional well-being, potentially leading to cardiovascular diseases and other health issues.

Chronic stress can be divided into two categories:

1. The inability to let go of a one-time acute event, which psychologically becomes a chronic stressor. For example, experiencing a severe trauma in childhood and being unable to escape its shadow for the rest of one's life.
2. The actual source of stress continues to exist, requiring constant coping, such as a high-pressure work environment that persists for years.

Research shows that the longer chronic stress persists, the greater the negative impact it produces. In other words, the negative effects of stress on individuals increase over time.

˙Stress lasting one day: Generally, the body can handle it. If one can rest well and has strong psychological resilience, the body can recover quickly after the stress passes. If the stress is severe enough to affect sleep, the next day one might experience decreased attention and a less positive mood.
˙ Stress lasting one week: At this point, more noticeable physiological phenomena begin to emerge. The immune system weakens, making one more susceptible to colds, and acne may appear on the face. Due to consistently elevated cortisol levels, sleep may be disrupted, leading to decreased memory function, further deterioration of mood, or physical and mental fatigue.
. Stress lasting one month: At this point, physical and psychological symptoms become more pronounced. One might experience: unexplained irritability and tension; changes in appetite; anxiety; possible feelings of burnout; becoming cynical or indifferent; some people may also experience; abnormal hair loss; diarrhea or constipation.
Stress lasting six months or longer: If stress persists unresolved for half a year or more, the impact on physical and mental health becomes very apparent. Severe symptoms may include extreme fatigue, pessimism, emotional numbness, social withdrawal, and lack of motivation. Some individuals might develop conditions such as arthritis, hypertension, or arrhythmia, and face increased risks of heart disease and stroke. At this stage, some people might resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms to combat stress, such as alcohol abuse, binge eating, or drug use, which only leads to additional problems.

Joseph under Stress

Joseph, mentioned at the beginning of the article, endured a combination of acute and chronic stress. In addition to the acute high-pressure event of being betrayed by his brothers, Joseph continued to experience several acute high-pressure events after arriving in Egypt:
˙Not only was he capable, but he was also "handsome in form and appearance," and his master's wife desired him. After being rejected, she became angry and humiliated, falsely accusing him of violating her, resulting in Joseph being thrown into prison.
In prison, he helped an imprisoned official, but when the official regained his position, he forgot about Joseph. Once again, Joseph experienced the coldness of human nature.

At the same time, he faced chronic stress challenges:
Years of slavery, lacking freedom and a support system composed of family and friends.
Years of wrongful imprisonment, not knowing when he would be exonerated or what the future held.

If we put ourselves in his shoes, we might find these intense pressures incredibly difficult to bear. However, Joseph clearly did not crumble under the stress. Instead, after 13 years, he rose directly from an imprisoned Egyptian slave to the position of vizier of Egypt, with free access to the royal palace.

How did he manage to do this?

People have physical, mental, and spiritual dimensions, and when facing high pressure, all three aspects will respond and interact with each other. The impact can go in two directions: one is positive, leading people towards active coping; the other is negative, leading people towards passivity and depression. What's comforting is that we can choose and decide which direction to take. (See next page) For example, issues 73 and 74 of this publication discussed David's emotional management, including an acute high-pressure event (refer to 1 Samuel 30): David and his soldiers' camp was raided, with their wives, children, and property all taken by the enemy. Faced with this situation, those following David were grief-stricken and angry, wanting to stone David to vent their emotions. The table below uses "slow motion" to examine their reactions.

As a result, David's spiritual steadfastness brought about "strengthening" in his heart, enabling him to exercise leadership and guide his followers to reclaim what was lost. This can be described as a turnaround from a desperate situation, preventing this high-pressure event from evolving into chronic stress or a malignant incident. Both body and mind were relieved, allowing them to face the next high-pressure situation. At the same time, he successfully established his authority and strengthened his faith in God.

Coincidentally, Joseph's pattern of dealing with acute events and chronic stress was very similar to David's. Both allowed their spirituality to govern their psychology, which in turn influenced their actions and physiological hormone secretion. Although facing acute and chronic stress, they were able to stop losses in time and, because of their reliance on God, turn around from desperate situations.

So how did Joseph specifically manage this?

First, he relied on God, maintained a good relationship with God, and had a spiritual high ground to manage his emotions and behavior

Joseph's rise from slave to deputy Pharaoh in Egypt was undoubtedly due to God working all things together for the good of those who love Him, and Joseph walking in His grace, empowering him to fulfill God's greater plan. The Bible repeatedly mentions that God was with Joseph from his youth, clearly indicating God's watchful eye over him. However, as someone used by God, Joseph also needed certain qualities to be useful to God and not disappoint His selection. The most important of these was his faith in God, his reliance on God, and his close relationship with God. Due to his spiritual maturity, he was able to manage his mind and body well from a high vantage point, giving him the wisdom to "cut losses" as mentioned in the second and third points, and to "build towers in desperate situations"

Second, he knew how to quickly accept reality, manage his attention, and focus on what needed to be done.

When his brothers sold him into slavery, Joseph did not dwell for long on the "why" questions or in grief and anger. Instead, he quickly faced and adapted to the new situation, doing well in the tasks assigned to him. This response allowed him to demonstrate reliable character and praiseworthy skills, quickly winning the trust of his Egyptian master Potiphar, and becoming his household manager.

Imagine if he had done the opposite - remaining in grief and anger, resisting reality, complaining about heaven and blaming others - how different would his relationship with his Egyptian master have been, and how differently would he have presented himself? How would this have affected the fulfillment of his life's destiny?

At this point, it's necessary to clarify the term "accepting reality." Many people think that "accepting reality" means "resigning to fate" and is a sign of weakness; in fact, this is not the case. For example, regarding the fact that heavy rain has caused damage, accepting reality means accepting the fact that "heavy rain has caused damage," and then thinking about how to face this fact, how to stop the loss under the current circumstances, or even how to reduce the loss.

Not accepting reality often manifests in "arguing" with reality, being unwilling to accept it, and displaying many emotional reactions. For example:
˙Howling at the sky, asking: "Oh heavens, why did you have to rain heavily now?"
˙Falling into the trap of "if only..." and finding it difficult to take action, blaming oneself or others: "If only I hadn't come, I wouldn't have encountered this rain." "If it weren't for him... why would I be here suffering?"

These response patterns often fail to fully utilize potential wisdom to stop losses or turn the situation around. As a result, it's likely that more emotional or practical costs will be incurred, leading to a second level of loss.

Joseph accepted reality and then dealt with it with the best attitude, thus preventing the disasters that happened to him from further deteriorating.

Of course, his ability to maintain a stable "core" and focus on the tasks at hand was because he had God in his heart and believed in God's power. What happened on the spiritual level watched over his heart in the darkest moments of his life, giving him grace, strength, and wisdom to cope with the difficulties in a foreign land.

Third, he limited the psychological impact of one-time high-pressure events on himself, taking care of himself in a way that did not accumulate negative emotions. Many people can handle acute events well due to their emergency response when facing acute stress. Unfortunately, after the event passes, the emergency response doesn't go away, and they can't forget the injustice or harm. While this is a natural reaction, what's natural isn't necessarily wise.

Dwelling on these thoughts often psychologically amplifies a single experience into countless experiences—as if it's happening over and over again. This continuously beats oneself down and accumulates negative emotions. This is how acute stress turns into chronic stress, causing many victims to pay an even higher and greater price.

High-pressure events are indeed hard to forget, and there's no need to forget them. However, one must wisely manage their interpretation of these events. Don't let past high-pressure events become permanent hooks that catch your mind and spirit, making it difficult for you to break free and move forward. Instead, you should unhook yourself, detaching from a higher level. If you have spiritual height, unhooking becomes relatively easier. This is exactly what Joseph did.

Regarding his brothers' malice and his own hardships, he unhooked himself by focusing on God's sovereignty. This is clearly reflected in how he named his children: he named his firstborn Manasseh (meaning "causing to forget," because he said, "God has made me forget all my trouble and all my father's household"); he named his second son Ephraim (meaning "fruitful," because he said, "God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering").

In the lonely nights of a foreign land, he let his soul rest in high places, thus his heart had a clear guide. Negative emotions did not accumulate into an overflowing river, flooding his life; his body also did not develop the discomfort and illnesses often associated with chronic stress.

This coping pattern was also reflected in the incident where he was falsely accused by his master's wife and imprisoned. Despite such injustice, and being punished for doing the right thing, he did not complain about his master or blame God and others. Joseph once again accepted reality and continued to do his best in prison. Later, he even saw the meaning of his coming to Egypt, thus transcending the experience of being sold into slavery—his brothers meant to harm him, but God used this event to build him up and fulfill His own plan for the Israelites.

In other words, Joseph did a good job of stopping losses: under very unfavorable conditions, he took care of his physical, mental, and spiritual health. Not only did he prevent acute stress from leading to chronic negative emotions, but he further turned adversity into his university, mastering soft skills and management skills, laying an indispensable foundation for God to use him in governing the country in the next step.

Taking care of oneself, especially maintaining physical, mental, and spiritual health under high pressure, is a responsibility that one must take on. This is particularly crucial for those who carry many burdens. Because only a healthy you can better shoulder responsibilities, take care of others, and move towards the "abundant" life promised by Christ.

Summary: Joseph's Emotional Management in Adversity

Joseph's emotional management in adversity demonstrated great wisdom, including:

1. Resting his spirit in high places. Trusting in God's ultimate power, taking a broad view, seeing the deeper meaning behind events, transcending current suffering with a Kingdom perspective, and understanding that "all things work together for good to those who love God."                     
2. Quickly accepting established reality and focusing on current tasks. When facing reality, choosing to accept it, reducing unnecessary entanglement and internal conflict, then turning attention to God's calling for oneself. Not indulging in a victim mentality, focusing on what can be controlled in the present, managing one's thoughts and emotions well, taking all possible actions, and using the present as a new starting point to create the future.
3. Stopping losses in time, even building towers in desperate situations. Not turning acute harm into long-term damage; when facing long-term stress, taking care of one's physical, mental, and spiritual health in a way that doesn't accumulate negative emotions, even turning the situation around and achieving a leap in life.

Injuries are inevitable in life; may you and I rest our spirits in high places and soar on the wind.

If you or someone you care about is in difficulty, I hope you can utilize the wisdom that God has already placed in your heart, not only to stop losses but also to break through the situation.

Wenping Sophia Li is the founder and chief instructor of Coaching for Better International (https://coachingforbetterinternational.com), a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) certified by the International Coaching Federation (ICF), and a member of the ICF Coach Education and Development Group. In addition to training life coaches, she has also effectively helped over 3,000 individuals improve their self-leadership through one-on-one coaching. Her personal coaching website is: https://betterlivingcoach.com.