Don't take away my coffee

The fourth of every month is the day my mother-in-law arrives.
I like to brew a cup of rich and fragrant coffee and leisurely sip the joy of having a peaceful month together.

In May when the sky is full of sunset, the Atlantic wind is like a thin veil, covering this restaurant with palm leaves as a top and built on a wooden bridge over the sea. The air was filled with the guitarist's rich baritone. A pair of elegant middle-aged men and women danced to the rhythm of salsa, stared with smiles, and expressed their passion for each other.

Yu poured double the amount of creamer into the coffee cup, mixed it carefully, put it in front of me with a childish smile and said, "I'm going to kick you off today, enjoy it!" He didn't know where he heard it from. Coffee can increase blood pressure. Every time I see me drinking coffee, I start to murmur, as if my high blood pressure is like a wild horse, running wild and out of control under the instigation of caffeine. Although I don't agree with his theory, I feel his tenderness, and in social situations and on "special days" when he doesn't know about it, I occasionally let this favorite fragrance touch my mouth.

While publishing academic papers, Yu insisted that I accompany him. That day, he asked me to prepare meals for my parents-in-law, and asked my neighbors to take care of me, and then he took me to this coastal town in the south of the United States, where a wealthy man bought property.

I am grateful to Yu for his thoughtfulness, which gave me a chance to breathe and rest when I was exhausted from taking care of my elderly parents. And I really need a quiet and peaceful time to examine and adjust myself in front of God. I really don’t want to stumble again where I have fallen before.

Seagulls flew across the sky in twos and threes, and my thoughts rose and fell with the waves crashing against the rock wall.

How could this be?

Yu and I have been married for more than thirty years. Looking back on the years we lived with my parents-in-law, especially my mother-in-law, the heartbreaking pain still makes me feel so sad.

We are all devout Christians who have known the Lord since we were young. We are gentle, humble and polite. When we were first married, my friends were amazed to see us thanking and apologizing to each other, washing dishes and doing housework.

Since the parents-in-law joined the family, the peaceful little family has heard insults and sarcastic insults from the two elders every day! How could the bride who was originally loved by her husband have so many criticisms and censures suddenly thrown at her? Even the amazing little couple, who respect each other like guests, would be injured in a fight and each would report to the emergency department? How come...? How come...?

I was timid, introverted, and couldn't handle rudeness. Knowing that I have no right to speak in this family, I choose to remain silent. One day, someone said hello to me: "How are you?" I opened my mouth several times and stuttered, but couldn't form a complete sentence. Then I realized with horror: I had been silent for too long and I had lost the ability to speak!

Sometimes I feel that my mother-in-law is angry with me and I worry that I will be beaten by a group when I get home from get off work, but I dare not not go home. When I arrive home at dinner time, I often wander around outside the house until the lights in the kitchen go out and the lights in the parents-in-law's bedroom downstairs and Yu's study upstairs come on, then I dare to sneak into the house quietly. I thought in my mind: If I walked in and the three of them who were having dinner in the kitchen swarmed me, it would be difficult for me to escape; if they had gone back to their rooms, there was still hope of escape.

As I walked in circles outside the house, I often thought about my two-year-old daughter sitting in the high chair eating in the kitchen. As the night fell, I whispered to her in my heart: "Baby, Mommy hasn't seen you all day. I miss you so much! How are you? Do you miss Mommy? Grandpa and grandma will probably tell you, Mom It’s not true that she is not a good mother! She is good at caring for, educating, and loving her children, but her opportunities are limited.”

whisper

"Yu, I'm sorry!" I cried to God on my way to and from get off work.

"Forgive him, forgive him!" But this whisper kept popping up in his mind.

"No! Yu doesn't think he's at fault, and he didn't apologize. I will never forgive him!"

In life, I am unable to protect myself, so I can only hold on to "hate" as a weapon to fight back. I cried, feeling pitiful and wronged!

On a day when the autumn wind was chilling and the miscanthus was flying, that clear voice sounded again: "You are also wrong!"

Frightened, he braked quickly and stopped in the wasteland to think. Yu's sad and lost eyes appeared in front of me, and I remembered that he had tried hard, but I was stubborn and unwilling to cooperate. In fact, being caught between his wife and mother, he suffered no less than me. I cried, not for myself, but for Yu.

So, I forgave Yu and made amends to him with my actions: I would happily stop doing anything he didn't like.

I love the aroma of coffee

God showed mercy to us and moved Yu’s sister and brother-in-law to take away her parents-in-law, giving Yu and I a new chance to rebuild our marriage and family. They left us for nearly 20 years, and it was not until their old age that we took them back to fulfill our long-cherished wish to serve them filially.

Since then, I have been trembling and careful, relying on the Lord, and pursuing peace. The fourth of every month is the "anniversary" when my mother-in-law lives with us again. I happily brew a cup of rich and fragrant coffee, put it in a gold-rimmed, thin magnetic rose cup, and sip it leisurely. The joy of nothing.

Our understanding of people deepens and we handle things smoothly, but without complete forgiveness and acceptance, one day bitterness will come out of the cracks. One day, my mother-in-law made me angry again. Old resentments and new sorrows came over me, and I almost dropped the set of rose cups and saucers.

In frustration, I cried out, "God! Help me!"

While I was praying urgently, I saw a doll about two feet tall, which looked exactly like my mother-in-law in appearance and body. I also saw a hand in the air holding a piece of transparent gift paper, wrapping the doll, affixing a red ribbon, and then placing it on a shelf. on, waiting for disposal. It’s as if the finished work has nothing more to add or subtract!

Immediately, I realized: How can I ask for more from those who have been completed by God?

Seeing me looking at the vast sea and sky in the distance, without saying a word, Yu kissed me gently on the cheek, "The coffee is cold, please change it to another cup, okay?"

"No, actually, I can drink coffee more often!"

Author profile

Lin Ning is now at home, enjoying the empty nest, and her relationship with her husband is getting warmer and warmer as time goes by. I love cooking, making desserts, and even more fragrant coffee. Read, think and savor life on weekdays, and enjoy using words to glorify God and benefit people. Cherish family ties and friendships, and be more considerate of God’s will.