Alas! Twenty years!
Photo courtesy/Zhang Lingxi
"Mommy! Why do you want to be a pastor?"
My son said to me: "In a restaurant, if you start as a dishwasher, as long as you work hard and pay the price, you can become a manager in twenty years! But a pastor requires work experience, a wide scope of work, time, service, and The pay is not proportional, and you have to be criticized and scolded all the time! Why do you still want to be a pastor? To be honest, I have served many preachers. You are one of the few female pastors who is talented and works hard, and speaks fluent English. It’s hard for foreigners to compare... Mommy, why don’t you do other jobs?”
"Son! It's not that I want to be a pastor! I can't do it! (Son! It's not that I want to be a pastor! I can't do it!) It's God's call. Otherwise, how could I have worked in the American church for twenty years? ?”
▲Pastor Zhang never gives up and still goes to the hospital as a volunteer to serve patients.
Yes, I can't shed tears along the way. I cherish every life-torture lesson and face every day with joy. I have experienced several things over the past twenty years:
1. God gives enough courage to face challenges:Gender discrimination is especially severe among our own people, and many believers resist women pastoring churches. But God, through the church, system, evaluation and related matters, accepted me to become the English pastor of the German church. I was also hired as the chaplain of the Lutheran hospital to serve emergency patients. This gives me the freedom to preach the gospel and serve the residents through different channels - giving free vaccinations to many people, holding more than 50 free 9‧11 relief concerts and six duet concerts with college students, and also held street performances Church joint activities, elderly services, etc. for 16 years.
2. Be loyal to God’s call, adhere to the biblical principles of the Holy Word and Sacraments, and learn to be loyal under tension!There are many people who do things not according to the book. How can we maintain order and carry out the pastoral responsibilities of the church? Thanks to the many spiritual greats who have accompanied me on the road, and to the pastor for his guidance and encouragement. I remember that a few years ago, the conference recommended an English-language newspaper in Brooklyn to interview me to talk about the church’s treatment of homosexuality. I was surprised and delighted, and was afraid that I would lose my position and harm the glory of the church and God. I consulted the pastor and prayed persistently before responding to the three-hour interview. Afterwards, when I was alone in my office and saw the portrait of Martin Luther in Here I Stand, I burst into tears—not because I was afraid that my stance might be different from that of the bishop or others and that I might be expelled, but because God gave me courage and wisdom. After preaching gospel truths to reporters and secretaries for three hours, not only did they not run away, they even completed the task while talking and asking questions!
3. Learn how to accept people who are different from you with the love of Jesus, and serve and love them without discrimination.I have been afraid of unfamiliar environments since I was a child. God used the church system to broaden me and let me come into contact with different people: prisoners in prisons, AIDS patients, white people, black people, Indians, Asians, refugees, immigrants... Whether I am poor or rich, I am an intellectual or a commoner, they have not only enriched my life, but also expanded the scope of my service. Especially when I see others lying helplessly on the bed in the emergency ward waiting for first aid, I can be a bridge to help others under very limited circumstances! I learned how to cherish everyone around me, not only to preach but also to do the Word, to give a helping hand to those who ask for help without expecting anything in return! Having such an opportunity is a blessing given to me by God.
Thank you Heavenly Father for giving me a life. I will use every day to live for the Lord! Life is limited, and there is a lot of work to be done. I pray that the infiniteness of the Lord will be revealed in me, a limited preacher, and let others see Jesus.