Looking for another spring on the other side of the ocean: Trapped in a city of identity and worry, brothers who love the Lord come to the rescue [Case Interview] 2

Interview/Yang Hanjiahua

Mother: Yili, 43 years old, housewife
Female: Xiaoni, 18 years old, student

"Whoever loves my two children will be my favorite!" This was the vow Yili secretly made in her heart when she went online to seek marriage.

When Yili became a single mother, her daughter Xiaoni was only three years old and her son Xiaosheng was just six months old. She has been engaged in foreign trade business for more than ten years and has a successful career. She enjoys a "petty bourgeois" life in Guangzhou.

When talking about children, it’s hard to hide the joy and pride of being a mother, especially Xiaoni who is as caring as a little cotton-padded jacket. She started dancing at the age of four and enrolled in one of the three major dance schools in China at the age of nine, specializing in ballet. At the age of sixteen, he started teaching yoga at a well-known high-end fitness club, and also taught classes at children's art centers and primary schools.

Xiaoni dreams of coming to the United States to study modern dance. Yili is young and has the right to dream. She longs for a home with a father and a mutual love. However, in China, few men are willing to accept an accomplished "strong woman", let alone raise two children of someone else's family who are not of their own blood, whose surname is not their own?

▲Xiao Ni danced and said from her heart: "Mom, don't cry. You have to take care of your health. I will make money to support you. Don't worry! I will save a lot of money."

Yili's parents once came to California to visit relatives and admired Americans' wealth and courtesy. Her parents' support encouraged her. Even though her English skills were weak, she still registered to go online and relied on the interpreter from the service agency to find another spring on the other side of the ocean for herself and her children.

After searching for a long time, the man of his dreams finally appeared. Jay is a percussion musician. He not only teaches classes, but also plays drums in the worship and praise group of the church.

When Jie came to Guangzhou to marry Yili, Xiaoni shouted: "Daddy!" Jie said: "Just call Jie!" Xiaoni followed Chinese politeness and refused to call her elders by their first names, so why not? Isn’t it a deep desire for father’s love?

Yili is satisfied and grateful to her husband. Foreign-related marriages have become a trend in China, but only one out of a hundred can find a husband as he wishes. She saw with her own eyes that the foreign husbands others found online were either mentally or physically disabled or too old. Jiwen is handsome, healthy, and twelve years older than her. Although he admitted that he was not rich when they were dating, Yili didn't mind. She didn't come to the United States to find gold. She was willing to work hard and build a happy home with her husband.

▲When Xiaoni was 16 years old, she started teaching yoga at a famous high-end fitness club.

Yili waited for more than two years to obtain a visa, and in January 2008, she brought Xiaoni and Xiaosheng to meet Jie. Yili praised: "Jie is more caring about children than his own father." She takes Xiao Sheng fishing on weekends, and if Xiao Ni comes home late, she always tries her best to pick her up. Sometimes, when Yili disciplines her children, Jie still protects her with distress: "It's hard to find such well-behaved children in the United States. They are the best children in the world!"

In the past few months since she came to the United States, there has been a huge gap between her expectations and her days were full of sorrow, anxiety, stress and tears. She often asked herself: "What am I doing here?" She left her elderly parents, uprooted and settled in a foreign country. ; When you are over 40, you have to learn your ABCs again; you used to use a four-wheeled car, but now you use a two-wheeled bicycle to travel; the money Jie gives to the family is sometimes not enough to buy groceries, but you still have to tell your parents on the phone: "Life is good!"

Jie has been slow to apply for permanent residence and legal work for Yili and her children. That day, he revealed his insecurities: "When I divorced my ex-wife, I lost all my property... You and I are in the 'trial period' now. If we don't get along, it's still too late to break up."

Language is a tool for spiritual communication. She greeted sincerely: "You sit, you eat!" Jay interpreted it as rude and criticized her for having a bad temper. The two of them had no common interests... She was willing to adjust to the misunderstandings caused by the language barrier. Change.

But the word "experimental period" was like a basin of ice water dripping down my face. My originally injured heart felt so insulting that it broke into pieces!

"I'm here to live with you, not for a trial marriage!"

Seeing her mother's constant tears, Xiao Ni couldn't help but ask, "Why do we have to come to the United States? Mom, you have to take care of your health. I will make money to support you. Don't worry! I will save a lot of money."

Although Yili has never been baptized, she fears God and secretly vows in her heart: "I will never file for divorce and never commit any crime again. No matter whether you are rich or poor, I am willing to grow old with you."