In the midst of conflict, receive the gospel and live out love

Love and Conflict Harmony Ministry "Couple Harmony Camp"

Interviewee/Interview with Liu Zhepei and Wang Lanxin/Zheng Qiongyu

▲Only by being broken by God and receiving the gospel again can we live out love in conflict.

Almost every couple made a vow to stay together for a lifetime when they entered the marriage hall. However, conflicts that were not properly handled again and again in life have made many once-close relationships disappear, and even become strangers. Turn against each other and become enemies.

This magazine introduced the newly established "Love, Conflict and Reconciliation Ministry" in the 36th issue. Over the past four years, this ministry has been extended to families, communities, and churches. Among them, the "Couple Harmony Camp" started in Los Angeles and expanded to Northern California and Seattle. As of May 2018, it has been held for 13 sessions, serving Worked with more than 150 couples to help them deal with conflicts in their marriages. In January 2018, the first "Harmony Camp for Couples and Children" was held to sow the seeds of "harmony" in the growing lives of the next generation.

The founders and presidents of the ministry, Liu Zhepei and Wang Lanxin, gave a written interview to this magazine to share the vision and expectations of the "Couple Harmony Camp" with readers.

▲Conflict is often like a developer that exposes a person’s sin.

May I ask about the vision of "Love and Conflict Reconciliation Ministry" and the importance of "spousal harmony" in the kingdom of God?

answer:Peace is God's will, but in a fallen world, human sin has become the biggest obstacle to peace. Conflict is like a developing agent that exposes people's sins. This is the moment when the gospel is most needed. The vision of "Love and Conflict Reconciliation Ministry" is to "receive the gospel and live out love in conflict!" We use conflict as the entry point. When sin reveals its true form, we can preach the gospel to ourselves and receive the treasure of Christ again. The redemption of blood makes life purer.

The relationship between husband and wife is the most intimate, real, and completely hidden link among all human relationships. It is also the best workplace for dealing with sin and salvation. In the Great Commission of Jesus Christ, He wants us to go and make disciples of all nations. Many churches try their best to preach the gospel and do discipleship training, but the implementation of discipleship training lies in the daily meals of rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar and tea. The mission of the "Couple Harmony Camp" is to help student couples live a discipleship life that pleases God amidst all the conflicts in life.

How is "Couple Harmony Camp" different from other couples camps?

answer:Many couples courses or camps focus on warming up love and marriage, and provide teaching on differences between men and women, family of origin, communication methods, etc. Conflict resolution is only part of it.

In view of the fact that the resolution of marital conflicts requires more in-depth discussion and training, we began to organize a three-day and two-night "Couples Harmony Camp" in 2014 to shed light on the issues of marital conflicts and provide complete training to help students face the problems in marriage. conflict. Someone asked: "Does conflict need to be discussed in three days?" Yes, resolving conflicts is not as simple as imagined. Sometimes it is necessary to go deep under the iceberg to find out what is going on. After learning this method, you will benefit a lot. In addition to conflicts between husband and wife, it can also be extended to handle other interpersonal conflicts.

The "buy one, get seven free" (seven consecutive) follow-up gatherings after the camp are the focus of the "Couple Harmony Camp". What is learned in the camp needs to be continuously practiced and applied in life before it can become a part of life. Students need to do their homework before following the meeting. According to different themes, they will learn how to resolve conflicts in the camp. Key, applied in real life. Tutors will also help students achieve growth and breakthroughs in their lives through repeated exercises.

Some professional counseling theories and techniques will also be taught in the camp, but they are only auxiliary tools.

Faith and life are the main axis, and the gospel is the core. It helps students develop strong spiritual muscles so that they can still live out the life of Christ in conflicts.

We firmly believe that what truly enables people to rise from the ashes of conflict is their spiritual life and trust in God, rather than relying solely on theories and techniques.

▲Emotions are like icebergs. What is exposed above the water is just an illusion, and what is hidden under the water is often the tangled truth.

What teachings does the "Couple Harmony Camp" focus on? Students’ reaction?

answer:The teachings of the "Couple Harmony Camp" are centered on God, backed by the precious blood of Christ, oriented by discipleship, and based on the character of Christ as the result. In the camp, we shared how to stand on the shoulders of conflicts and view conflicts from God’s perspective, so that we can have a spiritual height when facing conflicts. In addition, conflicts are often related to the perspective of looking at things. Matthew Chapter 7, verse 3 says: "Why do you see the speck in your brother's eye, but don't think about the plank in your own eye?" Jesus then asked us to "first remove the speck from your own eye." Then you can see clearly and take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:5) Between seeing and not seeing, we learn to refocus according to Jesus’ teachings and encourage students to practice.

According to the empirical research of Dr. John Gottman, even very happy couples still have unsolvable problems in their marriages. And we are convinced that these problems can only be solved by the grace of God and at the cross of Christ. Therefore, we do not accept the difficulties in marriage helplessly, but admit our own limitations and bring the problems to the Almighty Lord. In front of you, trust Him even more.

We are often moved by the life growth of our students. One gentleman said, "Before I came here, it was all her fault; now, it's all my fault." He was unwilling to go to church before, but later he was willing to attend church meetings with his wife. Another gentleman had been in and out of the church for thirty years and had been fighting against God. During the camp meeting, he decided to believe in the Lord and was baptized not long after. He kept thinking and asking: What unique trick does the "Couple Harmony Camp" have that can make him surrender to God? His conclusion is: This is God's own work, otherwise it would never be possible.

There is also a pair of senior church leaders who believe that their relationship as husband and wife is not 80% but 90%, and they do not need to participate in the "Couple Harmony Camp" at all. However, because the couples who lead in the church need this, they accompany them to participate. Unexpectedly, during the camp, this couple saw on a deeper level the areas in their lives that needed to be dealt with by God, and their lives were once again renewed. The couples they accompanied also experienced breakthroughs in their spiritual lives and marital relationships. Therefore, they Later, he accompanied other couples to participate again.

There are countless such testimonies. We know that it is the work of the Holy Spirit to tear down the wall of separation between husband and wife. We are also more trembling because the spiritual battle is also great. We must be alert and sober and rely more on God.

In January 2018, you held the first "Couples and Children Harmony Camp". Why did you decide to extend it to children?

answer:This is another vision God has given us. In previous camps, the average age of couples participating in the camp was more than twenty years. Many young couples who struggled with various conflicts and pressures were often unable to make the trip because their children were still young. We hope that young couples will have the opportunity to learn how to better manage their marriage and family relationships before the problems become serious.

Furthermore, school-age children are the easiest to mold. Sowing the seeds of harmony in their young lives will help them see their own limitations and sinfulness, as well as the reality of the gospel, learn to receive and share the gospel, become little peace messengers, and face conflicts with classmates in school. When dealing with conflicts, you can also respond to conflicts with the correct attitude to avoid irreparable harm. In addition, when children enter adolescence and face conflicts with their parents, these equipments can also help them know how to communicate with their parents.

▲Pay the price and bravely walk out of the conflict, allowing God to win in the conflict.

What are the difficulties and challenges in promoting the "Couple Harmony Camp"?

answer:We have seen that many people have lost hope for peace in broken relationships, surrendered in the face of conflicts, responded feebly to God’s words and promises, and were unwilling to pay the price to bravely walk through conflicts and let God win in conflicts. This is This is the biggest challenge that "Love, Conflict and Reconciliation Ministry" faces in this generation.

God called His only begotten Son, Jesus, to go to the cross to resolve the conflict between God and man. It is through the obedience of Christ that we can be reconciled to God. Only when you have experienced conflict and been broken by God can you know what true "love and conflict" is.

Many people do not understand the characteristics of "Couple Harmony Camp", but we believe that this is a life-impacting ministry. The work that God raises up will be led by Him. We just need to keep praying and bring people to Him faithfully.

We need more co-workers who are willing to walk through conflict according to God’s will, face their sins bravely, and seek Jesus’ redemption. In addition, we also urgently need the members of the Lord to pray for this ministry so that we can win through the Lord.Note:"Love and Conflict Reconciliation Ministry" websitehttp://www.loveandconflict.org

Interviewee profile:
Liu Zhepei and Wang Lanxin are the founders and presidents of the "Love and Conflict Harmony Ministry". They lead camps and offer courses such as "Love and Conflict", "Conflict Counseling" and "Marriage Mediation". Lawyer Liu Zhepei (JD and LL.M.) specializes in "Conflict Handling and Mediation", and his wife, Ms. Wang Lanxin, has a master's degree in "Conflict Management".