lover's eye

【Blessed Family】

The newlyweds are both talented and beautiful, and their love is endless and enviable. Two years later, the husband began to think that his wife was forgetful. One day, they were rushing to attend a banquet, and before getting in the car, they discovered that his wife had locked the keys in the car again. This time, the husband couldn't help it anymore and pointed at his wife and shouted: "I really don't understand why a beautiful woman like you is so stupid? I really can't understand why I married you in the first place!" The wife immediately pushed back. : "What's so surprising about this? You married me because I was beautiful, and I married you because I was stupid!"

In fact, it was the husband who was truly forgetful. He forgot how much he admired and admired his wife; he forgot how he caressed her hands and gazed affectionately into her eyes on the wedding day, nervously. He excitedly recited the marriage contract; he even forgot that God, who created marriage, has good intentions for husband and wife - this is also our problem.

When the Lord Jesus answered the question of whether divorce is possible, He said: "He who created man from the beginning made him male and female; therefore a man will leave his father and mother and shall be united to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." (Refer to Matthew 10. Chapter 9:4-5) Let us go back to the "beginning" and think about how you "see" your spouse. Do you see your spouse with human eyes or with God's eyes? Your perspective determines your response, and your response affects your marriage; your perspective is the key.

Love Focus 1 See the other person as a human being

─One who bears the image of God.

"God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness." (Genesis 1:26)

Something becomes less surprising after seeing it for a long time, such as a wedding ring. When you were newlyweds, you might have been struck by love the moment you saw it; what about now? I'm afraid it has become something that I don't want to wear but am embarrassed not to wear! A person's value will depreciate if he is looked at for a long time, because he is looked at with human eyes. Only when you learn to see your spouse from God's eyes can you see that he/she is God's special creation and a person you should respect! So, the next time you want to criticize or ridicule the other person, go to God first and ask Him to correct your perspective until you realize clearly that no matter what shortcomings your spouse has, he/she is still a person created by God. This new perspective will change your reaction!

Love Focus 2: See if the other person is a woman/man

─People of a different gender than you.

"God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created he." (Genesis 1:27)

Your spouse is of the opposite sex, so of course he will be very different from you. The wife may have a fight with her husband once a month; the husband may notice something different about his wife only three days after she has her hair permed. From a human perspective, this is really unreasonable! According to God, this is natural! This doesn’t mean that we don’t need to improve, but it means that you first accept that the other person is the opposite sex and is God’s masterpiece. You two have your own strengths and complement each other. Only with this perspective can you truly appreciate each other.

Love Focus 3 See the other person as a lover
─The spouse you should love with all your heart.

"Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24)

Your spouse is the person you are bonded to for life and the person closest to you. Unfortunately, we forget this special identity and relationship too easily. When things get busy, your lover becomes your servant, at your disposal; when you have children and become parents, you forget that you are still husband and wife; lovers eventually get married, but as time goes by they become ruthless; no wonder some people Appeal, may all "relatives" in the world become "lovers!" Since the two of you have become one, you should pursue the unity of body, mind, and spirit. Take the time to talk to her and put the time into dating him. Cherish your special relationship and cultivate the love that is unique to you, for you are made for each other by God.

Love Focus 4 Look at the other person as a sinner
─ sinners whom God has forgiven.

"The Lord God called the man and said to him, Where are you?" (Genesis 3:9)

After the first couple sinned against God, all relationships were damaged and man's sinfulness became an undeniable fact. One of the characteristics of this sinful nature is that we only see the mistakes of others but not our own faults. This is again a matter of vision. If you look at it from God's perspective, you will understand two things: We are all sinners, and you are not qualified to be the judge of others; God's grace is greater than your sins, and as long as you confess to Him and repent, you will be forgiven. , this is the great grace that Jesus accomplished for you and me on the cross! "Where are you?" - This is not a matter of location, but a matter of relationship. Only by being at peace with God can we be at peace with others. Next time your spouse does something wrong and offends you, first go to God and pray for yourself and the other person, let God’s grace of forgiveness come to you, and let His forgiving love fill you!

Author profile

Lin Liyuan: Originally from Taiwan, he focuses on adult education and marriage and family ministry. He is currently engaged in teaching, training, and writing teaching materials in different places.
Xu Yuxian: Originally from Hong Kong, she focuses on children’s education and marriage and family ministry. She is currently serving as the children’s ministry preacher at the Xiaoston West China Church in Texas.
The couple has been running the "Blessed Family" course in the church for nine years. It is divided into five series. On the one hand, it builds relationships between Christian couples and families, and on the other hand, it serves as a bridge to contact non-Christian families. The two have twin daughters who are now seniors in college.