I'm a good dad

【Teaching】

Photo courtesy/Gregory Slayton

Venture Capital Leaders Determine Family Investment

An Internet search for the name Gregory Slayton turns up 358,000 results, including CEO, venture capitalist, diplomat, Ivy League professor, best-selling author and philanthropist. Slayton, who graduated from the prestigious Ivy League school Dartmouth College and holds a Harvard MBA, was appointed by President George W. Bush as the U.S. Consul General and Head of Diplomatic Mission in Bermuda. He is often invited back to his alma mater and Stanford University. and lectures at MIT, and is currently a visiting professor of leadership studies at the School of Business at the University of International Business and Economics in Beijing.

But what this legendary figure who spans many fields and has made extraordinary achievements is not what he is most passionate about talking about is how to start a business in Silicon Valley and become rich, but how to be a good father. Slayton, who has made great achievements in the venture capital industry for many years, likes to quote Peter Lynch, the founder of Fidelity Investment Company: "Children are the best investment we have ever made." In Slayton's eyes, , the most important job of a man's life is to be a competent father; being a good father can not only benefit the family, but also change the entire society.

"When I was a child, my father ran away from home. Before he left, he left a letter saying that he hoped we would never see him again."

Chinese family buries spiritual seeds

Slayton had an unhappy childhood, but an angel appeared in his life—Mr. Zhang, who immigrated to the United States from Taiwan. The Chinese-American uncle Zhang who ran a grocery store in the town treated him as his own son, gave him his first Bible, and would definitely take him to church on Sundays. Over time, in different environments, Slayton saw how Uncle Zhang led the whole family. His gentle and humble "servant leadership" style planted a seed and a desire in Slayton's heart.

Although he lacked fatherly love, Slayton was fortunate to have a good mother and grandparents who fully assisted in his upbringing, allowing him to enter a prestigious school with excellent grades. During his senior year at Dartmouth College, Slaton began a serious pursuit of faith and a deeper thirst for God's word. In 1982, he received a master's degree in Asian studies as a Fulbright Visiting Scholar in the Philippines. Since then, he has launched his international philanthropic projects in Asia, Africa and Latin America. In 1990, he received an MBA from Harvard Business School and later founded Slayton Ventures in Northern California.

From "Google" to "Family First"

When he was the general manager of a venture capital company, Slayton had a precise and forward-looking vision and invested in two small technology companies that were unknown at the time: Google and salesforce.com.

"It was entirely the grace of God that my early investment paid off handsomely, so my wife and I decided to establish the 'Slayton Family Foundation.' This foundation is the National Fellowship of Fathers Foundation. The predecessor of "Family First" later launched the development of the ministry throughout Asia. "At present, the "Family First" organization has branches in Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia and the Philippines. Promote the importance of the role of "good father" and actively encourage all married men to embark on the journey of fatherhood to love their wives and children.

Because of his own experience, Slayton believes that "good fathers are made, not born." For more than 30 years, he has traveled around the world, interviewed fathers, researched fatherhood, and used his accumulated experience and first-hand observation data to Collected into the book "Be A Better Dad Today!" As soon as the book was released, it immediately topped the bestseller list and received strong support from U.S. Senator McCann, former vice presidential candidate Lieberman, and former Florida Governor Jeb Bush.

▲Slayton and his global bestseller "I'm a Good Dad".

Slayton, who has close personal relationships with many past U.S. presidents, told a short story about the White House in the book "I Am a Good Dad": During a White House event during President George W. Bush's term, Bush Jr. Slayton pulled aside, looked at him seriously and said, "You and I have many things in common, one of which is that we both married wives who are better than us, and we must never forget this." This sentence reminded me. Slayton, always respect and cherish his wife. What Bush said next is more meaningful: "Being a husband and father is the luckiest thing in my life, because this dual identity urges me to become a better person."

The secret to becoming a good dad: maps, tools, and friends

There are no shortcuts to being a good father and a good man, just like being a champion athlete. Slayton points out that the journey of fatherhood requires three magic tools: a map, practical tools to carry with you and a group of like-minded friends.

1. A map (create a “lofty vision for the family”)
"A happy family is not an accident," Slayton said. "A close-knit family must be forged in good times and bad times. As the head of the family, the father must work with his family to develop a "lofty vision for the family" "To ensure that every member of the family has the same goal and can still work together and be united even if they encounter a storm."

Before he was fifty, Slayton became Fulbright's Asia Visiting Scholar, a Silicon Valley venture capitalist, a successful CEO, an international philanthropist, a U.S. ambassador, and an Ivy League professor. But behind these prestigious titles, he paid the hard price of having his family move around with him.

One after another events made him realize that he must make an immediate decision and exchange priorities between his family vision and his career vision."It's not going to help if I say I put my family first but continue to put in more than 70 hours a week at work and even travel half the time. I have to keep my word."

So he made drastic changes in his work and tried to simplify his life. Finally, he got himself back on the right track and regained the distance between his parents and children.

The "lofty vision of family" shared by Slayton reveals the inheritance of family values and a very Chinese way of thinking about filial piety. This is not unrelated to the influence of Slayton's upbringing in a Chinese family. He said, "In the years to come, we will continue to honor our parents and take care of them as they took care of us as children. They did not send us to nannies or boarding schools, so in any case, we will not send them to the elderly Residential or nursing home.”

2.Top 10 portable practical tools
Without good tools, nothing can be done. Slaton offers ten useful and powerful tools for being a good dad, including putting family first, having fun with your family, going all out in your marriage, setting moral standards and staying humble, showing genuine love, and being a servant As a leader, bring your family closer together, ask for God’s help, imitate other good fathers, maintain an optimistic and never-surrender attitude, and give your family all-round support.

"My dad cares about family time very much, sometimes to the point where we can't stand it!" Slayton's 24-year-old son Christian said of his father.

▲Slayton and his wife are deeply in love.

Slayton has four children, but currently only a 15-year-old son who is in high school still lives at home. Although Slayton's schedule is tight, Slayton regularly arranges for the family to take vacation together every year. As the children get older, they occasionally have their own ideas, but once the father insists, everyone must cooperate fully.

Christian recalled that two years ago, in order to celebrate the 25th wedding anniversary of his parents, the family went to Hawaii for a vacation. Even his eldest sister (a lieutenant in the U.S. Army) who was serving in Germany took special leave to come. There is an image that has always been engraved in Christian's mind: "One day, our family was walking on the beach, and it suddenly started raining. The rain was getting heavier and heavier, and the waves that were coming were getting higher and higher. The six of us were in the rain. , holding hands in the waves!" That scene is like the family vision Slayton originally outlined: "Even if we encounter difficulties, our family will still support each other and work together to solve the problem."

Among the practical tools for being a good dad, the concept of being a "servant leader" is particularly out of place in today's "me-only" social culture. Slayton, who is often invited to speak at top business schools such as Harvard and Stanford, often uses the example of Jesus and emphasizes that this kind of leadership principle based on "love and dedication" can truly change the entire society. “Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:28)

Slayton said Jesus was a master of using the ten tools of being a good dad. He put his family (all his people) first and was crucified to death; he put the interests of his family before his own personal interests; he went all out to complete his mission (lofty vision); he demonstrated in the process A highly humble attitude; constantly asking for Heavenly Father’s help; having good partners to support him along the way; having an optimistic and never-surrendering attitude; providing all-round support and understanding to his disciples, setting the best example for his “servant leader” father model.

3. Have a group of good companions who travel with you
Slayton, who loves sports, likes to cite baseball players as examples of how there are no lone rangers in the journey of fatherhood. Any successful professional baseball player needs a few close comrades to help each other in times of trouble and to watch and encourage each other. Dads are no different. Dad recommends that every father associate with other fathers who are strong (very good at what they do), have good personalities (honest and trustworthy), and are committed (responsible to family, friends, and community) to gain strength. and courage will be strengthened.

The concept of building a "partnership" led Slaton to found the Dads Fellowship Foundation, dedicated to strengthening the importance of fatherhood, family relationships and faith in the United States and around the world. As president of the foundation, Slaton devotes more than half of his time as a volunteer.

"This year (2016), except for July, I traveled to Asia every month. Last year, I went a total of ten times, visiting China, Taiwan, Singapore, Indonesia, Malaysia, etc." Slayton said, "Taiwan The Family First Association just staged a play to promote fatherhood on Father's Day this year, which was well-received and well-received; not long ago, Malaysia held a dinner party with the theme of family and fathers attended by 300 people; in Jakarta, Indonesia, there were more than 2,000 people participated in the "Family First" symposium! "The "Become a Good Dad" movement led by Slayton is in full swing in Asia. In Dad Shi's heart, "Be a good father, be a good man, and create Good family!" Dads need companionship.

A good father’s strong support—Heavenly Father and family

The journey of fatherhood is also a journey of self-exploration. When Slayton tells his entrepreneurial story in various places, he never hesitates to share his past experience of being fired. He described those frustrating experiences as "bucket investments" in life, and said with a cool voice: "It doesn't matter if you have an occasional wild bet. The question is, how do you deal with these 'buck bets'?" Slayton, who seemed to have a prosperous career, faced every encounter. When faced with a shock, his family is his solid spiritual fortress, and his family will always be his loyal cheerleaders.

▲Slayton family photo.

"On the day I was fired, I went home dejected. Unexpectedly, as soon as I stepped in the door, the whole family lined up to welcome me. My daughter, who was ten years old at the time, was the first one to rush up to me and give me a warm hug, saying, 'Daddy, I'm - OK - Love you! You are the best dad in the world. No matter what happens to you at work, we will always love you! "The unwavering support of my family is the strong backing for Dad Shi to ride the waves.

There is no perfect father in the world, but behind every father there is a gentle and strong Heavenly Father. He is willing to be every father's help and reliance, so that "good dad" is no longer a slogan and a dream, but can be realized. the right investment.

Becoming a good father is a lesson that can never be learned in a lifetime, and this lesson is implemented in the trivial details of daily life. The phone interview with Slayton was not smooth, and was interrupted several times because he had to deal with family matters temporarily; but this good father always answered everything with a gentle and kind tone. Toward the end of the interview, he apologized and said he would have to pause for a while longer.

"It's bedtime. I have to tell my son to go to bed." He told me quietly on the phone. It was already past 11pm local time at Shiba's residence. I asked his wife if it was convenient for her to say a few words. He said: "I'm sorry, she is very tired and goes to bed first!"

He is truly a good father!

Without good tools, nothing can be done. Slayton offers ten useful and powerful tools you need to be a good dad:

1. Family first, have fun with your family
2. Go all out in your marriage
3. Set ethical standards and stay humble
4. Show true love
5. Be a servant leader
6. Bring family closer together
7. Ask for God’s help
8. Follow the example of other good dads
9. Stay optimistic and never surrender.
10. Provide comprehensive support to family members.

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