An analysis of church conflict management
▲The relationship between co-workers as a team requires long-term management. They must trust and watch each other on weekdays. Once any unpleasantness occurs, they must make peace immediately.
The most distressing thing about church conflicts is that because of their love for the Lord, both parties insist on their positions and refuse to give in to each other, causing both sides to lose. These situations often occur between pastors and elders, and between co-workers and co-workers. They exalt the truth not for themselves but for Christ. Their goals are so lofty that they are confident and confident. Sometimes they are even unreasonable and confident, leaving no room for compromise. The two sides argued until the end, each of them was scarred but did not understand the truth. They were full of enthusiasm for serving the Lord, but they reached this point. In the end, they became discouraged, stopped serving, and even left the church.
Such dramas of conflict continue to play out in various churches. The more enthusiastic Christians are in serving and passionate about ministry, the easier it is for them to have conflicts with others. Looking around, the church is full of wounded soldiers. God’s servants are often seriously injured, but they are still busy rescuing others and continuing to fight.
Is this the situation of the church? The inevitable result after conflict? What is God’s will in these conflicts? How should God's children behave in order to please God when facing conflicts in the church? Let's explore it from the following cases.
Case
Pastor Pan has served at Michigan Bible Church for nearly 30 years, from church establishment to retirement. After Pastor Deng took office, in order not to put pressure on him, Pastor Pan usually went to various places to lead special meetings and rarely attended meetings of the Michigan Bible Church. He occasionally met members in the market, and they greatly appreciated Pastor Deng's enthusiastic service.
About half a year later, Pastor Pan received a call from Deacon Feng one day. It turns out that when the deacons were discussing next year’s ministry plan, Pastor Deng strongly requested an increase in funding for foreign missions and allocated a budget for short-term overseas missions. The deacons said that the church focuses on local missions. Although foreign missions are important, they can first share the vision and teach the congregation to contribute extra to the mission fund.
Pastor Deng said nothing more. However, next, he used Acts 1:8 as the theme and preached on "world missions" for several consecutive Sundays. Deacon Feng sighed helplessly, "Pastor Pan, do you think we deacons are blocking the work of God?"
Pastor Pan felt a little uncomfortable after hearing this. The student fellowship and meal fellowship established many years ago had taken so much effort to run, how could they sacrifice the near for the distant?
He agreed to visit Preacher Deng for further fellowship.
Pastor Pan returned to his familiar church office, and Pastor Deng sat in his old chair, listening to his concerns. However, he also saw that the positions were now reversed, and the table between him and Pastor Deng was as deep and wide as the Red Sea.
Pastor Deng replied politely: "Pastor Pan, thank you for giving me so much good advice. You may not have seen that overseas missions are a new trend in modern church ministry. After the church has grown for thirty years, it should have a broader perspective. Vision. I received a lot of missionary training in seminary, please feel free to let me lead it!”
In the days that followed, Pastor Pan often received calls from deacons and church members. They said that on the podium Pastor Deng praised churches that support overseas missions, and in the deacons’ meeting he made explicit statements that missions should be given top priority, and he also encouraged young people to participate in summer short-term missions. As soon as these children heard this, they clamored to go to South America and Africa, and their parents couldn't bear it.
At first, Pastor Pan advised the members to obey the leadership of the preacher, but as time went by, he heard too many complaints, and the ridicule he had received before gradually became fermented, and he also changed his attitude. “We must pray for Pastor Deng and ask God to open his eyes to see the mission field in his own backyard.”
During Sunday worship, everyone still chatted politely with Pastor Deng, but group Bible study often became a "nostalgic" sharing. "Oh! Pastor Pan was so good in the past." Seeing that the annual general meeting was about to be held, Deacon Feng said to Pastor Pan, "The Deacon Council can't bear it anymore. Pastor Pan, we have decided to dismiss Pastor Deng. Please come back again!"
The battle of visions
In this case, it was clear that the new missionary’s vision for world mission was different from the church’s local mission. The student fellowship and meal fellowship that retired Pastor Pan and the church elders have worked hard for many years will be wiped out due to the change in the direction of the church's ministry. In order to uphold the church's local missionary vision, the church plans to dismiss the young and visionary Pastor Deng.
For Pastor Deng, world mission is the Great Commission of Jesus, God’s will, and the training and teaching he received in the seminary. It is an inevitable trend for the church to do missionary work. He was loyal to God’s work, why didn’t these deacons understand? What's more, he is the pastor of the church, with a vision, a mission, and a commitment. What’s wrong with leading the church in this way? The church should obey his leadership and respect his spiritual authority instead of going against him. If he is dismissed from his post for this reason, it will be a major blow to the young Pastor Deng.
As far as the church is concerned, Pastor Deng has only been here for half a year, and he is still unclear about the past and present of the church, so he started to promote his missionary work. He doesn’t know how much effort the church has put into leading the student fellowship and meal fellowship to achieve today’s results? Worldwide missions are important, but there are also many local gospel needs, so why bother looking far away? Although Pastor Deng is a full-time preacher of the church, he has just arrived and has not yet been fully accepted and trusted by the brothers, sisters and elders. It is a bit overwhelming to immediately change the missionary direction of the church that has been in place for many years.
thoughts and perspectives
Faced with such differences, both sides are right. Is there a solution? Or how should this conflict be viewed? We have to think about it from several angles:
1. Facing differences
We feel uncomfortable or threatened when others have different opinions than us. I always feel that when differences arise, the answer can only be one of two, either you are right and I am wrong, or I am right and you are wrong. To show that our opinion is right, we often defend ourselves or point out the flaws in the other person's opinion. The two sides unknowingly opposed each other, and even found someone to support them, leading to a confrontation between the two armies. In fact, it is God who allows us to have different opinions and to present things in a more diverse way so that we can see them completely. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 14:12-14 that the parts of the body are different, but they can be members of each other, becoming one body in Christ. Nikolaus Ludwig von Zinzendorf (1700–1760)’s principles guide us when we deal with differences:
"In basic matters, seek unity; in non-essential matters, seek flexibility; in all matters, seek love."
(In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity.)
2. Facing church culture
When Pastor Deng first came to the church, he was faced with a church culture that had long focused on local missions. How to convey and implement the vision in his heart immediately became his challenge. What is the priority between local missions and global missions? Which comes first and which comes last? It is not an absolute truth and has no urgency, so cultural considerations are extremely important.
From a cultural perspective, the interaction patterns that people in the circle are accustomed to often become their comfort zone. They usually feel forced and resist the impact of external forces demanding change. But if the power of change starts within the circle, it will generate less resistance because it is self-examination rather than criticism. If this change resonates, it can generate support and achieve the effect of adding fuel to the flames.
When Preacher Deng first came to the church, he was considered an outsider in terms of church culture. His first task should be to establish relationships with the church brothers, sisters and elders, enhance mutual understanding, gain their acceptance and trust, and become an insider of the church. After that, if he wants to change the missionary vision of the church, he will consider the missionary work from the internal perspective of the church and then make appropriate adjustments. This kind of adjustment is a completely different approach and result from rashly demanding changes from an outside perspective.
3. Facing the inner battle
James 4:1:"Where do the fighting and fighting among you come from? Doesn't it come from the selfish desire to fight in all your bodies?"Many conflicts arise from the desires of the "I" in our hearts. Because "what I want", "what I want to do", "my views" and "my priorities" are the first priority of all options, including my understanding and interpretation of God's will, which is better than others correct.
If other people's opinions are different from mine, it's their problem, not mine; it's others who have to let go, not me. Although I hold high the banner of God on the outside, "I" is king in my heart. In order to accomplish "my will", I may even sacrifice my relationships with brothers and sisters, my relationships with co-workers, and even sacrifice the unity of the church and God's glory.
Therefore, the real point of conflict is not "local mission" or "global mission", but the inner choices and responses of Preacher Deng and the Deacons when faced with different visions. "Local missions" and "global missions" are both God's will, but when there is a conflict between the two, who is the king? Or is "I" king?
solution
When there is a conflict between Pastor Deng and the Executive Council, it would be best if both parties could coordinate and resolve it themselves. If that doesn't work, it would be a good idea to ask a third party, the respected Reverend Pan, to come forward and deal with the problem. The way Pastor Pan handles this situation is very important. In this case, Pastor Pan should play the role of mediator, understand the ideas and positions of both parties, and help find a mutually agreeable and feasible solution.
As a mediator, remember to remain neutral and not take sides. His responsibility is not to judge who is right and wrong, but to help both parties face the conflict, understand God's will according to the above principles, consider the needs of the other party, and adjust their own Mentality and perspective, serving one another with love. In this case, when Pastor Pan ran to tell Preacher Deng about the importance of local missions, he may have chosen to side with the elders - the opposite of Preacher Deng would be difficult to be used by God and become a tool to influence Preacher Deng, so it would be difficult for him to He was soon rejected by Preacher Deng.
Pastor Pan can first take the time to understand Pastor Deng’s voice without criticizing him. At the same time, he can affirm Pastor Deng’s ambition for world evangelism and his determination to love the Lord and save souls. It can also help him understand the concerns of the elders. There is still a lot of gospel in the local area. or point out that the hearts of brothers and sisters are not yet ready and they need to slow down in execution and wait for the brothers, sisters and elders of the church with love and patience.
At the same time, Pastor Pan should also encourage the elders to view Pastor Deng in a positive light and seek God's will. Perhaps God, through Pastor Deng’s vision of universal mission, is challenging the church to speed up its pace and not only do local missions, but also cultivate more Christian workers, expand the boundaries of the church, and preach the gospel to other places.
Pastor Pan can coordinate and encourage the two, which not only helps Pastor Deng bear the fruit of the Holy Spirit, but also challenges the brothers, sisters and elders of the church to achieve breakthroughs in service and life growth. In the name of God Glory for this.(Photos for this article are provided by Taipei Truth Church.)
Author profile
Wang Lanxin holds a master's degree in "Conflict Management" and is one of the lecturers of the "Peace Messenger Workshop" of KRC Cultural Practice Camp. She often leads couples camps and conflict management seminars with her husband, lawyer Liu Zhepei.