early spring february
[Turn of twists and turns] 1
Pushing open the glass door from the kitchen to the backyard, a cool breeze blew in my face. In the early morning of February in early spring, the sky was still overcast, it had rained all night, and the yard was wet. As soon as I stepped on the soil, water came out and made my feet muddy. My mother-in-law is right when she complains. The wild rabbits here eat everything. When I first bought this house ten years ago, the grass was as fine and soft as green velvet. Now, patches of land are exposed, and where there is grass, it is sparse and filled with weeds. The backyard is surrounded by oleanders, which are separated from the outside like a wall. Because of uneven fertilization, they grow unevenly. There are pear trees, plum trees, and loquat trees in the courtyard. In my memory, the fruits produced by these fruit trees seem to be extremely small and weird-looking.
Why did the backyard become so ugly? My mother-in-law often said, half jokingly and half seriously, that this backyard was specially sold to her, an old woman who had nothing to do, but my husband and I almost never stayed here.
My mother-in-law poked her head out of the room and handed me the phone.
The person on the phone asked me "Are you okay?"
"Okay, let's hang out in the yard."
The other person hesitated for a moment and said, "I just learned that you and your husband were laid off by the company at the same time. However, you also know that there must be God's good will for such things to happen. We pray for you."
"Well, thank you very much."
Turning around, I suddenly noticed that there were many flower pots of different sizes and colors on the ground. They were filled with flowers and plants that I couldn’t name. Some small flowers were blown down by the wind and rain overnight and fell on the flower pots. On the basin.
What does it mean?
Yes, ten years ago, my husband and I were hired by the largest mortgage company in the United States at almost the same time. Now, we were all driven home on the same day without any preparation. That day, when my eldest son, who was about to go to college, saw us moving boxes of books home, his eyes flashed with extreme uneasiness, and he asked loudly, "What does this mean?"
How do you know what it means? All we know is that when the biological clock starts ticking in the morning, we can be "at ease" without having to get up all of a sudden. After breakfast, I had enough time to walk in the yard. Then, when I entered the house, I sat upstairs and my husband sat downstairs. I thought about what I had done in the company over the years, wrote it down, and then submitted my resume to everyone. Sent everywhere. In fact, we also know that finding a job in the financial sector, which is bearing the brunt of the current economic crisis, is like finding a needle in a haystack.
How can I repay my mortgage if I don’t have a job? What should I do if I get sick? Where will my child’s college tuition come from? We are no longer in our twenties or thirties. If we take a detour, we can start over again. We have plenty of time.
In the face of huge social disasters and personal hardships, there is a thousand-year-old question: Since God is love and He is omnipotent, why does He use the suffering of the world to fulfill his perfect purpose?
No one is born to suffer. Everyone's hardship is unique, and unforgettable comfort often cannot be found in the experience of others.
we do not know!
After cleaning the flower pots full of soil and broken flowers, we stood up and a couple from the church came to see us in the afternoon.
The doorbell rang and they walked in. She hugged me tightly and repeatedly said, "I feel so sorry for you!"
We sat around the small dining table in the kitchen. Their eyes were red, wet, and wet again. I asked, "Is this God's will?" They said softly, "We don't know, we don't know." But their faces were full of sadness, gentleness and love.
They are Taiwanese and have served for many years in our church’s fellowship, which has the largest number of mainlanders. They bring God’s love to people who come and go in this fellowship.
In 2004, this sister went to Chengdu for missionary work. When she heard that my mother was seriously ill, she immediately went to the hospital to visit her. She sat by the hospital bed, held her mother's hand and prayed. Later, I realized that that might be my mother’s last prayer in her life! Not long after, my mother passed away. On the eve of my return to China for the funeral, they sent me money to buy flowers to pay homage to my mother, and wrote a letter of comfort, asking me to take it to my brother who had not yet believed in the Lord. I asked them: "Why did God allow my mother to suffer so much pain before taking her away?"
At that time, this sister also responded softly: "We don't know, we don't know." She told us with tears that many years ago, her brother, with whom she had a deep relationship, suddenly died in a car accident. When they rushed to the scene, they could not identify her brother. After that, she hid at home for a long time and didn't want to see anyone.
She said, "But we Christians know that God loves us. As for the various sufferings in the world, if you don't understand them now, you can ask Abba Father when you get to heaven."
Are people who have passed through the Valley of Tears more able to understand the pain of others more intimately? Because they have also looked up to the sky and asked. God has indeed never promised that we will not encounter any hardships in this life, but He has indeed promised that no matter what happens, as long as we trust Him, He will take us through it.
Push open the glass door from the kitchen to the backyard, and you will find my backyard.
In early spring in February, you can clearly see the rolling mountains ahead during the day. But as soon as five o'clock in the afternoon, the sky dropped, and the mountainside was covered in layers of mist, making it appear blurry. In the yard, the hares began to wander around unscrupulously and make trouble, making the grass and leaves rustle.
My mother-in-law said it was going to rain again.
I thought, let it rain, even a little rain. In California, are you still worried about the lack of sunny weather? !