Dad, you actually said goodbye to me...
Picture/Ding Huaici
Dear Dad:
Every time I exchange letters with you, it is a time when we are separated.
I think back on every separation in the past, whether it was the year I went to New Zealand alone when I was sixteen, the three-month internship in Italy, the master's degree at Duke University in the United States, the five years I worked in California, After returning to Taiwan, the three years when I frequently traveled to Taichung for consulting projects were the last time I went to the United States for six months... I am always determined when I go out, because every time I travel, you and my mother are behind me with your firm support and prayers.
I think it’s the same this time. It’s just that this time, you have to go farther and longer...
I really miss you in the days after you return home. In tears of reluctance and gratitude, I have intermittently recorded your warm presence and wise words in my life.
I am your forever baby
Open the photo album of your relationship and marriage with your mother, and you will see countless photos of your mother as a super model. Then, I joined you. You call me Beibei, which means "darling". You now have another super model! From the first day I was born to every milestone in my life, such as being a flower girl, graduation ceremony, etc., you held a professional Nikon SLR camera to capture every precious moment. When I grew up, I realized how valuable it is to have a father who loves photography and loves to take photos of his wife and children.
Many people ask me why I went to New Zealand to study when I was fifteen years old. The answer is, because you have a macro-thinking, you not only want me to improve my spoken English, but also want me to build confidence in God and myself.
It was more than a month before I was preparing to return to Taiwan from New Zealand. On a whim, you began to pick up the postcards you bought from various places to accompany me to sort out the mixed feelings. You record every thought you receive from God, coupled with your perseverance as a father. The content of each postcard is different: sharing of daily devotions, notes of moments of inspiration, ministry planning and prospects... …. Among them, you also taught your younger brother to use his immature words to participate in the conversation, allowing us to accumulate a strong sister-brother relationship bit by bit. At the same time, you never forget to remind me to be grateful all the time, to my New Zealand uncles and aunts who have taken care of me this year.
▲Postcard collage from New Zealand, family photos in Kiwi Garden
Proud of family
Friends around me often ask me curiously, will my relationship with my family be affected if I spend so much time away from Taiwan? I always answer without hesitation: "No, because our family relationship is one that we cherish very much!" Thinking back carefully, it is actually because you have been praying for us behind the scenes and using the teachings of the Bible to shape us. His character accompanies us to grow.
Since childhood, you often told us:
‧ Children are an inheritance given by God, and parents are just stewards.
‧ Whenever we travel far apart, Dad is very happy for you and is the best prayer warrior behind you.
‧ The family altar is very important. Whether it is a traditional overseas phone call or the current online video call, the four of us may be limited by distance, but our hearts are tightly connected.
‧ Family time together is far more important than anything else in the world.
Because we value time together, our family cherishes every special day we celebrate together, including birthdays and your wedding anniversary with Mom.
You always affirmed me and my brother, and at the same time, you also advised us carefully on what we should pay attention to, and then ended with a prayer. You are not a proud person, but you are always proud of your children. You are not shy about talking about your children in front of others. Whether it is the first time you meet or the uncles and aunts you have not seen for a long time, you often say to us: "When your father talks about you two sisters and brothers, he always looks bright! Even if you meet them for a long time, The professional fields are different, but you can talk to your dad as if he meets you every day."
Whenever an elder tells us that my brother and I have performed better than others in the face of unexpected situations these days, I know that you in heaven will definitely show that shy yet confident signature smile. Confidence comes from the complete acceptance of your children from God; shyness comes from saying that you have never had anything to boast about, and the only thing you can boast about is the God who loves us.
▲The joy of transoceanic prayer calls
role model for life
You often say that there is nothing special about you, except that you simply love to share reading with everyone. You will write down your thoughts immediately after reading a book. You wrote every masthead of the plan manual, the words of the president of Tianen Quarterly, and the short article sharing on page 4 of each issue of KRC magazine. You wrote it out and shared it with your family excitedly. You were happy to hear our responses. . I remember when I was young, you would ask us to write down our reading experiences. As a naive person, I always found it very troublesome. But when I grew up, I realized: It turns out that the reading habits we have been influenced by have helped my brother and I establish good character and life attitude.
You are a person who likes to put pen to paper. When computers became popular, you often told me that typing on the computer would interrupt your thoughts. So when we gave you your first iPad, you excitedly said that Apple recognized your handwriting. I still remember that look. Your thanks are always timely, and not only to outsiders, but also to family members at all times. When I gave you an iPad, you told me not only once, but every time you use it, you feel grateful to God—because together with you, we can fulfill your dream of writing.
Every time I go home for vacation, the most common thing you say to me is: "There is a lot of new digital knowledge recently, can you teach daddy?" Dad likes to learn new knowledge the most, and he is the most shameless to ask questions. When I After teaching you, your expression was as if a primary school student had scored 100 points on the test. It made me think that dad is really the best example of "live to grow old and learn to grow old"!
Because my personality is relatively straightforward, I occasionally have heated discussions with you, but you still listen quietly. When I am reminded by the Holy Spirit to apologize for my irritable tone, you will say: "You are my father's beloved daughter, how can I care about you? You must know that my father really loves you, just like the Father in heaven." "
Dad, the lesson I learned from you is: it’s not a big deal to put down your posture and apologize! Because you value relationships, because connections are more important than anything else!
▲Dad’s LINE study notes
▲Dad’s LINE prayer book
Saying goodbye without saying bye-bye
Dad has often told us since we were young: "I can't stay with you forever, but our Heavenly Father who loves us can!" Every day you always take the trouble to ask us, what are the recent life challenges? What are some things you are grateful for recently? "Dad is your best prayer partner. You tell Dad so that we can seek together." Even if sometimes I get angry and tell Dad that I am in a bad mood and don't want to pray, you will listen to me and wait for me. Calm down and pray together again. After I experienced the repeated impact of each faith dialogue with God, my father always said to me with great relief: "Dad is very happy that you have learned the faith to get closer to God in every ups and downs, and There is peace that passes all understanding.”
The scene of prayer is vivid in my mind when I think back: when I was coughing at night, you specially ran to my bed to pray for me; because of my American work visa, I experienced God’s grace and learned the lesson of faith, and you knelt with me Offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving before your bed…. Looking at the way you pray, I know that you are always watching silently behind our children. I still remember that on March 7, just four days before you fell into coma, I received a line message from you in Tainan: “I sat on the bed in your room last night and prayed earnestly to God. Praying to God again during the meditation reveals the Lord’s will! I firmly believe that He will not fail, because He is the Lord! Praise the Lord! He listens to our prayers, just like the promise in the song "Accompany me through spring, summer, autumn and winter" ~ Rely on People of the Lord will never abandon you! My child, I am happy for your persistence in the Lord, because it is the faith that comes from the Lord. I may not be able to accompany you through the spring, summer, autumn and winter, but the faithful Lord will always be there. By your side!" Maybe you know how important this faith-filled prayer will be to us four days later! Reading it again now, every word left on my phone seems to remind me that you are still praying for me...
At 11 o'clock in the morning on Saturday, March 11, my mother sent me a text message telling me that your heart was not feeling well. Mom took you to Dr. Qiu's clinic next door to check for an irregular heartbeat, and immediately called an ambulance. I called my mother at 11:10, but it was you who answered the phone. You said as if nothing was wrong: "Beibei, don't worry... Dr. Qiu called an ambulance and will go to Wanfang Hospital later..." Yes Yes, this is the dad who always thinks about us. Unexpectedly, what followed was a series of thrilling journeys...
At 11 o'clock in the morning on March 16, your loved ones said goodbye to you with your favorite hymn. When the hymn reached a certain point, surprisingly, we heard your familiar snoring, which was completely independent of your breathing connected to multiple tubes. The influence of the instrument...the last few hours were so peaceful and peaceful. You walked in a peaceful sleep, snoring.
When I saw in prayer the scene of you sitting on my bed interceding for me on March 7, I firmly believe that although you cannot accompany me through spring, summer, autumn and winter forever, the faithful Lord can! Dad, you must have been too trusting about the three of us, so you left so peacefully! You must have full confidence in us, confidence from God, knowing that by divine grace we can carry on your mission and continue to move forward.
Dad, you didn’t say bye-bye to me this time, because we will definitely meet in heaven!
Your beloved daughter Beibei