There will always be pain in life
[Perspective of Reading the Heart] Thoughts after reading "The Cross" by Kiyoshi Shigematsu
14 years old is a lively, cute, awkward, and longing for the future age, and Lily is the same. However, her birthday unintentionally became the anniversary of her friend's death. From then on, her birthday turned into a nightmare, which greatly changed Lily's life.
Lily is one of the protagonists in "The Cross" by the famous Japanese writer Shigematsu Kiyoshi. Her story makes people lament the impermanence of life.
The book "The Cross" is based on campus bullying and suicide. It drops a fatal bomb at the beginning - Fujitoshi's suicide note. The four classmates who appeared in the suicide note were shaken by the shock wave and were unable to resist.
The dead are gone, but the living are still alive. The main line of the story revolves around these four people: friend Xiaoyu, unrequited love Lily, and two hated bullies-Yamashima and Nemoto.
The tragedy affected the life path they followed; the constant conflicts with the victim's family were like a tangled ball of yarn, and the pain became more and more confusing.
▲"The Cross" by Japanese writer Kiyoshi Shigematsu starts with campus bullying and suicide, causing readers to think about the pain of life.
(Image Source:https://images.app.goo.gl/h2xi9JnAxLfUf2Cx8)
Author of "The Cross":Shigematsu Kiyoshi, born in 1963 in Okayama Prefecture, Japan. He has served as an editor and reporter and personally participated in many reportage and interview practices. Known as "Japanese directors' favorite writer" and "a writer who reflects on life issues". This book won the 44th Eiji Yoshikawa Literary Award in 2010, making him one of the great novelists.
How events are interpreted defines how to live
The British novelist Aldous Huxley once said: "Experience refers not to what happens to you, but to how you see it." Nietzsche also said: "There are no real facts, only interpretations."
Unpredictable things in life are not scary. What is scary is the interpretation and response to events; because interpretation and response will define how to live. Be positive or negative, focus on yourself or look at the overall situation. When the perspective and attitude are different, the lifestyle and life vision will also be different.
The characters in the book all view what happened from a negative and pessimistic perspective. For example, Xiaoyu was a "good friend" unilaterally recognized by Fujitoshi. He was unable to defend himself, but was accused and unforgivable by the family members of the victim. "Aren't you his friend? Why didn't you help him?" ” crime.
Lily, who had an unrequited love, refused Fujitoshi's birthday gift at that time. Unexpectedly, he just sent delivery service and hanged himself after returning home. From then on, she was trapped in the self-blame of "What if..., would it...", "If I hadn't flatly refused, would Fujitoshi not commit suicide...", she has been living in the torment of guilt.
Shandao Yugen, who was bullied, should be considered an unpardonable crime. In fact, he was not tolerated by his classmates, teachers, school, and society. He was labeled as a "bad student" and "animal" and eventually joined a gang. The two were killed and paralyzed in a racing accident. They were only 17 years old.
The victim's family regards the child as a possession and cannot get rid of the fact that their son died due to bullying. They constantly blame themselves and are immersed in the regret of the loss. My younger brother Kensuke said:
"There is a kind of love that is presented in pain. My dad and my mom have been suffering all the time. They continue to hold on to painful memories and live very hard." Dad Toshi even regards "not forgiving" as a psychological vow, and he lives in this world all his life. Not forgiving.
▲What do you see in this picture? People's different interpretations and responses to events define how to live.
(Image Source:https://images.app.goo.gl/6bsLhDuteZSvsZWW8)
How you carry the burden determines how you put it down.
Each of these people carried their own heavy burdens and baggage, walked humbly and lived a very hard life.
Can time really heal all wounds? When Xiaoyu and Lily grew up, they developed a romantic relationship. Wounds that were not treated in the past did not heal or fade over time. Instead, they followed us and became "inflamed" from time to time. Eventually ended up breaking up.
In the book, there is a scene in which Xiao Yu's courtship is rejected, which delicately describes Lily's inner helplessness and fear. "Her long hair was scattered on the floor like an unfolded fan, and the way I suppressed her two wrists made it look like she was nailed to a cross." The author reveals the core theme here: "The Cross" It is a heavy burden, a burden; as long as you live, you must carry it.
The reason why the characters in the book live so hard is actually the Buddhist worldview, which sees worldly affairs as helpless fate.
Xiaoyu kept asking "Why me?", and a female reporter told him: "Don't ask why, you are just "chosen", just accept your fate, think of it as "carrying the cross", even if you feel more and more The heavier it is, as long as you continue to move forward and continue to live, you will have to carry it forever." In the face of fate, people can only bow their heads and accept it.
And this burden will never be let go. Lily lamented: "Perhaps all we can do is to make our shoulders stronger and our feet stronger, right?" However, people are limited, and no matter how strong they are, they will be unable to do so.
Because living is hard, I am pessimistic about this life, so I look forward to change through "reincarnation". Little did we know that in the so-called cycle of reincarnation, people have disappeared into the universe and the value of their existence has ceased to exist. Is such a life still meaningful?
The definition of happiness in the book seems to be limited to external and visible things. Twenty years later, Tengjun's mother knew that Xiaoyu and Lily had a place to belong to. She was happy for them, but also had a special feeling in her heart. She said: "Although a lot has happened, everyone has been happy, which is really great." Does getting married and having children mean happiness? Is it possible that even if there is no external, visible, so-called happiness, the soul can still feel satisfied and life can still be full of hope?
Is there really no way out in life? Will the burden on my shoulders be lifted one day?
In this book, the cross is a lifelong burden. As long as you live, you have to accept your fate and carry it. There is no possibility of letting it go.
However, in the Christian faith, the cross is glory rather than a burden; bearing the cross is active self-denial rather than passive endurance. Christ Jesus carried the cross and died on the cross in place of man's sins, eliminating the barriers between man and God and between man and man, so that the harmonious relationship between man and God and man and man could be rebuilt.
▲The cross described by Shigematsu Kiyoshi is a heavy burden and baggage; but in fact, the cross that Jesus carried was self-denial and substitutionary atonement.
How to let the past go, how to continue life
Therefore, the cross has become a way to bury the past and undergo transformation and rebirth. The Bible says: "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." (2 Corinthians 5:17) To put it bluntly, it means "all things that were before, such as yesterday's death, All things will happen in the future just like today."
Just as Christ died and was resurrected, so those who believe in Christ also died and were resurrected. In this new life, old things can pass away, no longer controlled by guilt, regret, hurt, and despair, and everything can be made new. With the knowledge and trust in Christ, and with the comfort and strength given by the Holy Spirit, let the past be bygones, and firmly believe that God will make a way in the environment and encounters, because He is a God who does new things.
Can old things really go away so easily?
Xiaoyu was misunderstood and could not be forgiven. He felt aggrieved and angry. Through memories, he continued to examine, explore, and dialogue with the past. It was only when he watched the bullying incident coldly and did not lend a helping hand that he realized his debt to Fujitoshi. After becoming a father, my son unilaterally regarded a classmate he admired as a "good friend", and he realized that being regarded as a good friend is something to be proud of. Therefore, he felt sorry and cried bitterly, and he felt relieved.
Socrates said: "The unexamined life is not worth living." After years of washing, Xiao Yu found the power of healing in re-experiencing and re-interpreting events, and his life grew. In fact, the same goes for Christians. Everything that happens in life is no accident. Through different ways such as writing, meditation, prayer, etc., from a spiritual perspective, review and introspect, find out the meaning God wants to give to your life story, and discover your role in God's big story.
Compared with Xiaoyu, Fujitoshi's father is completely different and has never been able to forgive. When Xiaoyu asked him: "What should I do?" Fujitoshi's father "looked away" and avoided the way out for himself.
Forgiveness comes from God. Without a clear understanding that God has forgiven us, how can we have the power and will to forgive? Forgiveness is a choice of the will. Just like peeling an onion, you will shed tears every time you peel off a layer. If you cannot bear the burning tears, how can you reach the core of the pain, and how can you release your soul?
For the guilty Lily, letting the past go means accepting her own imperfections and learning to reconcile with herself. In fact, she had every right to say "no" to Fujitoshi and refuse the gift. After all, they were not familiar with each other.
She does not have to be responsible for Tengjun's suicide, nor does she have to feel sorry for his parents, because Tengjun has already decided to embark on a path of no return, and no one can be sure that Lily can recover by accepting the gift. Guilt doesn’t need to be a second cord around your neck. Instead, one can honor the late Fujitoshi by living a fulfilling life seriously with a grateful heart.
Yamajima and Nemoto, who were labeled as "bad guys," were victims of their parents' indifference. Taiwanese psychologist Luo Qiuyi said in the book "The Memories You Most Want to Forget When You Grow Up - School Bullying", "When children lose the continuous nourishment and protection of their families, it is easy for them to rely on bad peers, form groups, and gain momentum. Derived into a systemic social crime problem. "It can be seen how important family support and protection is to grow up in a loving environment.
Bullying is wrong, and bullies must confess, repent, and take responsibility before God and others. Only in this way can the past be brought to an end; and only when the past is over can life be restarted. Just like Pastor Liu Minhe of the Dawn Church, because of his faith in Christ, he turned from an elder brother who took drugs, sold drugs, killed people, and was killed to a pastor who fights against drugs and recovers from drugs. The past is over and life is no longer the same.
Losing a child, especially the regret caused by an accident, is a lifelong pain and burden for parents. I've experienced it, so I can relate to it. However, Jesus can give rest to those who labor and are heavy laden. As long as you are willing to bring your sorrows and regrets to Him, you can lift your burdens and find peace.
In fact, any loss requires a long process of grief, anger, acceptance, and healing. For parents who have lost a child, if they want to let the past go, they must understand that children are an inheritance given by God, a trust, not an ownership, and accept that "there is a time to embrace and a time not to embrace." Continue to know and experience the love of the Lord Jesus, and be willing to accept encouragement and comfort from brothers and sisters. Grief can become strength, and suffering can also become blessings. "Use the comfort God gives to comfort those who are in all kinds of troubles."
There is always pain in life, but pain does not need to be a lifelong burden. Because Christ has completed redemption on the cross, you and I, who are hurting, can let the old things go and live a new life.
in hope, loves reading, line dancing, traveling with the whole family, and looking at the world. Now lives in Southern California. Co-worker of Genesis Culture Bookstore.