Discover a new meaning of life

【Heavenly Leadership】Series 1

Oral narration/Chen Dejian·Compilation/Lin Minwen

Leadership is the ability to influence others.

In the past, leadership was believed to lie in a person’s innate traits, such as intelligence, talent, and charisma. Research in recent years has found that leadership is a skill that can be trained as long as you are willing to learn and grow.

Through this series of articles, I hope to learn and cultivate leadership together with readers through three stages: 1) know yourself; 2) lead yourself; 3) lead others. We hope that in the process, leadership will not only become a learned skill, but also an attitude towards life; we will no longer be an authoritative manager, but become a sincere leader. Discipleship, as Christians are familiar with, ultimately affects the lives of others through changes in one's own life.

This article will introduce how to understand yourself better and discover the meaning of life through thinking in four dimensions; then understand God’s call and prepare yourself to become an influential leader.

▲Leadership is influence; changing one’s own life affects the lives of others.

life has to change

When I was a supervisor in the workplace, I believed that control was management; management was leadership. However, I gradually realized that this approach caused me to encounter many difficulties in interpersonal relationships, whether at home, company, or church. The most obvious thing is that as children grow older, the past "I say, you do" model becomes less and less feasible.

I am a computer systems engineer and I have to solve problems when I encounter them. I love learning and am willing to seek new knowledge and methods. So I attended parent-child lectures, hoping to learn effective communication methods and establish a good relationship with my children.

However, the words and deeds of the lecturers, Mrs. Wang Qi and Teacher Lei Luomei, shocked me greatly. The content they teach is not only communication skills, but also emotional management and leadership. Changing the parent-child relationship is not only about changes in children's behavior, but also about changes in parents' lives. Only when the inner power of life is revealed can it have an impact.

I felt and envied the characteristics of their lives, and wondered if I could have such characteristics. Learning that both of them received master's degrees in leadership from Azusa Pacific University inspired me to take this course as well. With the encouragement and support of my wife, it took me seven years to obtain my degree in 2020.

Because it is a Christian leadership course offered by a Christian university, the power of faith must also be demonstrated in faith. The professor begins each class with a prayer and encourages students to pray for their studies. This is refreshing to me: learning is no longer just for my own growth, but also connected to God’s power and plan. The course emphasizes being true to yourself, so starting from knowing yourself makes me feel freer and happier, and I no longer just want to imitate others and follow the mold.

When I started taking classes, I gained a new understanding of myself. My children used to say to me, "Dad, you are too busy and don't have time to spend time with me." I disagree. How can I not spend time with my children after working from home for more than ten years? The assignment for one class is to record how much time was spent on what things during the week. The result is clear! I work ten hours a day, but only spend 30 minutes with my children. Although I am at home, my mind is still on work. No wonder my children feel neglected.

With this realization, I sought changes, not only in my time allocation, but also in my attitude. When I started to change, my kids changed too. When I speak with a wrong attitude or tone, I learn to apologize to my children; children who have now entered adolescence will also say sorry to me when they speak with a bad attitude or tone. After a few years, the child said to me: "Dad has taken the class and it is completely different."

After completing my studies in 2020, I encountered the epidemic of the century. Seeing that office workers can't go to the company, students can't go to school, and Christians can't go to church; people have lost their original way of life and feel lost, not knowing where to go next. I thought, I benefited a lot from the influence of these two speakers when I entered the field of leadership. Why not share what I learned with more people through various platforms? Maybe it can help people understand themselves, then lead themselves, and finally hope to influence others.

Four Observations to Know Yourself

At the stage of understanding oneself, referring to the concept of Ikigai (Japanese "生き卡fi", which refers to the meaning of life, represents the joy of living, the tension of living, and demonstrates the value of life), I invite everyone to think about the following four questions, which are also four dimensions. Observe to discover the meaning of life.

1) What I am passionate about;
2) What am I good at;
3) What can I do to earn income;
4) What need can I meet in the world?

▲Four observations to understand yourself. (Photo courtesy: Chen Dejian)

After many observations, referring to the results of personality and strengths tests, and through thinking based on Christian faith, I know that "only Christ includes all and dwells in all" (refer to Colossians 3:11), I answered this These four questions:

I love learning and progressing together in a beautiful relationship; I am good at integration and teaching; I earn income with my knowledge and ability in consulting and program design; because of God’s love for me, I am willing to bring love and care to the world.

Some people may ask. Generally speaking, the things or things that one loves are very specific, such as: hobbies of reading, traveling, food... Indeed, I answered the same way at first, like I like to play ball and like good food. Continuing to think about specific hobbies, you can also find common points and abstract them. I found that I didn’t enjoy playing alone or dining alone. I like playing basketball because I play with like-minded people; I like good food because I enjoy it with family or friends.

By identifying common points and abstracting them, it will be easier to discover the relationship between "love" and other dimensions and their intersections. Otherwise, I like playing basketball and eating delicious food, which seems to be incompatible with my specialty, work, and the needs of the world. Once you understand that what you like is actually learning and progressing together in a beautiful relationship, you will realize that the integration and teaching you are good at, the work of providing consultation and solution design for customers, and being able to meet the world's need for love and care are all the foundations. Here it is.

Take the example of me leading single-parent family teenagers in the International True Love Family Association: I use my expertise in teaching and integration, as well as the scientific and technological knowledge and experience gained in the workplace, to lead students to learn AI artificial intelligence and build relationships with them in the process. , to express our love and care for them.

▲The author (first from the left) combines his passion, expertise, work experience and knowledge to build relationships with young people in service and bring them love and care. (Photo courtesy: International True Love Family Association)

find the meaning of life

There is no priority or distinction between the four dimensions. The intersections of the four dimensions can be divided into:

• Love + good at = passion (Passion)
• Profession + Income = Profession
• The needs of the world + love = mission
• World needs + income = Vocation (Vocation)

▲The intersection of four dimensions. (Photo courtesy: Chen Dejian)

Under the guidance of God, if we can find the common intersection of the four dimensions, it will be the meaning of life.

The reality is not necessarily so ideal. Especially in Chinese culture, it is harder to find true passion. Many times, parents' expectations or current workplace needs are regarded as one's own preferences or considerations in choosing a job. First, invest time to learn what you are good at, find a job, and then start to like it. It's a bit like the old matchmaker saying, get married first and then develop a relationship.

Therefore, several phenomena can be observed:

1. Professional, not necessarily what you like (life is comfortable, but you may feel empty);
2. Enthusiasm does not necessarily lead to income (I feel satisfied, but feel not valued);
3. Mission, income does not need to be the key consideration (happy, just not rich);
4. Your vocation may not be what you are good at (feeling a sense of accomplishment, but occasionally feeling inadequate).

Discovering the meaning of life is a process. Looking at the intersection of the four dimensions, if you only focus on the individual, you may feel less than ideal. When you expand your horizons and surpass yourself, you will have stronger motivation to discover and meet the needs of the world.

But focusing only on the needs of the world may overlook personal talents and passions. For example, churches often need brothers and sisters to serve as Sunday school teachers, choir members, deacons, etc. When pastors and pastors are eager to fill vacancies and issue invitations to serve, Christians find it difficult to refuse due to emotional reasons. This may lead to mismatches in positions and talents, resulting in high pressure in service or the inability to commit to the job for a long time.

Although your mission is not necessarily what you are good at, if you have talent and passion to help you, you can have a greater impact. Church and ministry leaders may wish to observe more and understand the strengths and preferences of brothers and sisters, and even create new service platforms and opportunities. For example, a member who has the gift and enthusiasm for teaching may not only lead Sunday school or Bible study class, but may influence lives with his life by teaching other skills that he is good at.

▲The church can create new platforms and opportunities, encourage brothers and sisters to serve with the skills they are good at, and influence lives with their lives.

A call from above

Philippians 2:13 says: “For it is God who works in you to do good things, to accomplish His good pleasure.” On top of the needs of individuals and the world, there is actually a call from God— Determine who God wants us to be and what we need to do. Even if we are limited, we are still willing to invest tangible and intangible resources to answer the call.

Some may ask, how to prioritize God, family, work, and service? Elder Lin Fengliang, editor of this unit and consultant to the Kingdom of God conference, said that putting God first, there is no so-called second or third place in other aspects. In the family, run relationships with God as the first priority; in the workplace, put God as the first priority in your work; and in service, serve others with God as the first priority.

Therefore, I can love to work out of love for God, not because I can do the job; I can love to serve out of love for God, no longer because I am invited or required to serve. And I also use love for God as my driving force, and I do my best in every aspect of my life to please God and to glorify Him.

Since both my parents were teachers, I decided not to be a teacher since I was a child. I felt it was too hard and too authoritative. Because of his introverted personality, he doesn't like to face the crowd and doesn't think he is suitable to be a teacher. Since then, career development has taken me further and further away from "teachers" and "teachings".

The more I get to know myself through leadership studies, I find that I like to learn and grow in beautiful relationships with others; I find that I am good at integration and coaching; I find that what I do is consultation and program design... I realized that this is also "teaching" and being a "teacher".

Therefore, participating in the youth ministry of the church and the True Love Family Association will not deter me from thinking that I am not suitable to be a teacher in the past. Instead, it became clear that I was moved from heaven, and my passion, expertise, work experience, and sense of mission for the world converged into motivation.

I also see that my experience in serving young people and my experience in leadership training can be an encouragement and inspiration to many people. So, why not seek more opportunities and platforms to convey what you know, learn, and feel? Therefore, I also began to accept invitations to lead lectures. From the questions raised by the participants, I became more aware of the needs of the world, and I am more willing to use myself as an example to help more people understand themselves and find the meaning of life. Isn’t this also “teaching” and being a “teacher”?

My workload has not decreased, and my time is as limited as my mental energy; I am still introverted, and my personality has not changed much. But now I understand God’s call, and I am willing and able to break through the limitations and transcend the original limitations, because God is infinite.

influential life

Leadership is influence; before you can influence others, you must first be willing to change yourself. When I first started studying leadership, I saw and admired the temperament of these two speakers, and I was willing to imitate them. During the seven years of study, I was deeply moved by the professors who repeatedly opened their lives and showed their weak and true sides. I understood that to be a true leader, you can admit your weaknesses and make mistakes.

如今完成課業，取得學位，但學習既是我的熱愛，也樂意繼續「以教帶學、從做中學」（learning by teaching; learning by doing）。不僅自己這樣做，也把這個概念和方式帶進所服事的青少年團契。（請參閱本刊62期管家單元〈Spread your wings and soar〉一文。）

I train students in the fellowship to serve as little teachers and encourage them to use what they know and learn to teach and lead other students. They are as busy with schoolwork and pressured to enter higher education as other students. Yet they persisted. I believe it is because after seeing the dedication of the fellowship tutoring and coaching, I understand that this is something valuable and can be done no matter how busy and tired I am.

Counselors and coaches, as well as other people in leadership positions, must lead themselves before leading others; before leading themselves, they must first know themselves.

And when people understand themselves, discover a new meaning in life, and live out God's calling, they can have an impact.

Next issue preview
After knowing yourself, how to lead yourself? Time management, which many people regard as a challenge, what exactly needs to be managed? What are the elements of growth and breakthrough? Stay tuned.

Aptitude test reference resources

• Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)
• Gallup StrengthsFinder 2.0, by Gallup
• StandOut Strengths Assessment

Think Think and Act

• Has this article inspired you to want to learn more about leadership? Welcome to contact:dejian.chen@gmail.com.
• Are you looking forward to finding the meaning of life? Please think and observe the following four questions:
1) What am I passionate about?
2) What am I good at?
3) What can I do to earn income?
4) What need can I meet in the world?
• The first step into leadership learning is to know yourself. You can discover your own traits and strengths through tests such as personality classification and personality analysis.

Chen Dejian, now works as a senior computer cloud designer at Oracle Computer Company. He once served as the technical director of Southern China Region of CA (Computer Associates) and the strategic alliance director of the Asia-Pacific region of CA's US headquarters. Master of Leadership in Executive Leadership, Tiny Habit Life Coach certified by Professor Dr. BJ Fogg of Stanford University. Tutor and head coach of International True Love Family Association’s Wings-Spreading Youth Fellowship.