A person who is pampered and loved

Picture provided/Deng Xiaoyun

New wife

When my husband Keqiang and I got engaged at the end of 1998, he was still a student at Fuller Theological Seminary. As soon as the news came out, almost all the elders and friends in the Lord tried their best to persuade me to "retreat", believing that if I became a master's wife, I would be eaten up like a "sheep among wolves."

I knew very little about the role of a “teacher’s wife,” and people in relationships are always full of longing for the future. I was not intimidated, so I moved with my husband from Los Angeles to the Calgary, Michigan, pastoral church in 2000. I was confused. I started my career as a teacher and mother in ignorance. At that time, I believed in the Lord for less than three years.

The first time I arrived in Calgary, I was pregnant. When I stood on the podium and introduced myself, I felt a little guilty. The shadows of every teacher’s wife I knew flashed through my mind, and I didn’t know how to spell out a satisfactory teacher’s wife. I simply said honestly: “I have only been a believer in the Lord for a short time, and I am not familiar with the Bible. I can’t play the piano or conduct. I don’t know how to teach Sunday school in the choir, let alone cook. I may not be the “decathlon-like” master’s wife that everyone expects, but I am willing to use all my love and enthusiasm to learn to be a master’s wife, please. Help me too."

After I finished speaking with trepidation, and seeing the sincere smiles on the faces of the brothers and sisters sitting here, the stone in my heart fell to the ground. Many years later, an old sister who was present at that time said to me quietly: "Looking at your petite and frail appearance, I really feel a cold sweat for you."

From 2000 to 2004, my three sons came to school one after another, and I was busy learning the roles of a wife, mother, and teacher. The brothers and sisters saw that I was struggling to deal with the three children, and they all tried their best to help me. So I was pampered and loved by everyone. Even now, ten years later, I still feel pampered and loved.

▲The mother group dotes on Mrs. Xiaoyun (middle) like a daughter.

Mom's group

I have a "group of moms" who dote on me and treat me like their daughter. The three sisters from Cui's mother's family, together with her younger siblings, took turns sending me clothes and food, and even found time to chat with me to relieve my boredom. Ever since I arrived in Calgary, the delicacies cooked by them have made the pastor fat. Over the years, our weight has been rising steadily, and we have been unable to lose weight many times. It is all their fault.

Aunt Yiyan is far away in Germany. She sent me clothes from all the way, saying that they are popular styles in Germany. The young people they teach look good in clothes, so I must look good in them too. Cui’s mother knew that I was very busy and might not have time to write to my mother. She wrote a handwritten letter to my mother, reporting on my situation in the United States in more detail than myself. My mother felt so concerned when she learned that there was such a mother who loved me. comfort.

Mama You—this old lady from the Philippines was once a strong woman who had many servants and managed the family business. However, she was willing to serve others in the church. I have been working quietly in the kitchen for many years. When I saw what was missing in the kitchen, I quietly bought it myself without making it public. After church Sunday gatherings, the pastor and I were often too busy talking to the brothers and sisters and neglected to eat. Sometimes the food was gone and we had to go home on an empty stomach. Mother You would carefully prepare meals for our family. She raised five sons in her life, and gave me all her love for her daughters. She taught me her experience in raising sons, and also passed on the wisdom of a mother. When the third child, Enmu, was undergoing surgery, it was a cold winter. She came to the hospital despite the cold weather and came to pray with me. Not only did she buy lunch, but she also brought my favorite snacks. Her considerate love calmed my uneasy heart.

This group of mothers is also my most loyal prayer group. No matter how big or small our family is, our whole family is remembered in their prayers every day.

▲The sisters’ love surrounds Pastor Keqiang (front row, first from left) and Mrs. Xiaoyun (back row, second from left). Among them, Sister Mei Ling (second from left in the front row, holding baby Enmu) donated money to buy a new bed, which made them grateful but unable to bear it.

Sister shopping

There is also a group of brothers and sisters who love me. The baby Enmu suffocated immediately after birth. Although he was rescued and saved his life, he often needed to be sent to the emergency room due to breathing difficulties and epileptic seizures. After that, it was discovered that Enmu suffered from swallowing disorder, global developmental delay, asthma, autism, and insomnia. Suffocation and many other diseases. Over the years, I have devoted myself wholeheartedly to Enmu's treatment and recovery. My husband is busy with various ministries in the church and has no time to take care of the eldest brother Enyu and the second child Enlin. Sister Gui Ling from the church took the initiative to help us take care of Enyu and Enlin. She treated the children as her own and took great care of them. Every time the children heard that they were going to Aunt Guiling's house, they were so happy that they almost couldn't wait to say goodbye to me.

Sister Mei Ling came to my house one time and walked into our bedroom by chance. She saw that our bed made of two single beds was very old and the springs in the mattress were bulging unevenly. A few days later, a special donation was sent to us to buy new beds for us. Holding the donation that she poured all her love into, I was both grateful and intolerable, because that donation was probably a month's living expenses for their family!

In 2007, I experienced a great challenge in my life. Due to a misunderstanding with a sister, my self-esteem was hurt. I was extremely weak in spirit and always wanted to use human methods to explain things clearly. One day, Sister Shufen gave me a book, which was the autobiography "Song of Pearls" by Mrs. Ding Feibi. She whispered to me, "I hope that reading this book will relieve you of the heavy burden on your heart." That night, I couldn't wait to read it in one breath, and the pages were soaked with tears. I was completely ashamed in front of Teacher Ding's mother's infinite love, endless patience, and incomparable loyalty. God used this trial to help me learn to be more humble, patient, compassionate, and forgiving.

▲The mother-in-law who loves the Lord devoutly and always prays for her son and daughter-in-law is a spiritual role model for Mrs. Xiaoyun.

Pray for mother-in-law

I have a devout mother-in-law who loves the Lord and serves as a spiritual role model. My mother-in-law believed in the Lord when she was young and kept her faith throughout her life. As early as when she was still in Huai Keqiang, she dedicated him to God, hoping that her son would be used by the Lord throughout his life. It is said that he was very rebellious in his youth, and his mother-in-law often prayed in tears before the Lord. Until one day God moved my husband to devote himself to full-time ministry. My mother-in-law knew that God had listened to her prayers for more than thirty years. After we started serving in the Calgary church, my mother-in-law’s prayers became even more urgent. We were far away across the ocean, and she often told us on the phone to serve the Lord humbly.

When I was pregnant with my second child, Enlin, the doctor discovered the possibility of Down syndrome from the blood test results and wanted us to do further amniocentesis to determine whether to terminate the pregnancy. My mother-in-law has many years of medical experience and told us that amniocentesis is risky for the fetus. After prayer, we decided not to undergo any medically risky tests and to raise the child regardless of whether he was healthy or not. My mother-in-law was very supportive of our decision and told us: "If this child has any health problems in the future and it even affects your ministry, I am willing to take care of him for you."

Although Enlin was healthy and strong after birth, it seemed to be a false alarm, but that experience allowed me to see my mother-in-law’s complete trust in the Lord and the great mind of a mother, which prepared and inspired me in the days when I raised Enmu. , always look to the Lord for grace.

After serving in the Calgary church for ten years, I learned to be a good wife from every sister who loves the Lord; I learned to be a good mother from the loving and gentle life of my mother-in-law; I learned to be a good mother from the beautiful testimonies of many teachers and wives. A good teacher.

I know that in Jesus, I will always be a blessed woman who is favored and loved.

Author profile

Deng Xiaoyun is good at reading and loves ink, but he praises the fragrance of Christ. She and her husband, Pastor Wang Keqiang, serve in the Chinese Church in Calgary, Michigan. They have three sons, from left: Enmu, Enyu, and Enlin.