A mother's journey out of the shadow of death and into the sunshine again

【Parents Chapter 2】

Photo courtesy/Xu Juying

near fatal car accident

On December 19, 2001, my son Steven, who was in the third grade of elementary school, was sent to school early in the morning. He sat in the passenger seat of the new car he had just bought and groped around curiously. While the car was driving, my son kept pulling the seat forward, almost touching the windshield. Then he tried to move the seat back to its original position, but the chair would not move no matter what. I tried to help him. Unexpectedly, at that moment, the front of the car swerved and the whole car hit a big tree on the roadside with great force. My son I was unconscious on the spot, and my right leg suffered an open and comminuted fracture. Both mother and son were rushed to a nearby hospital.

After arriving at the hospital, the doctor determined that his son had suffered a severe blow to his head, his coma index was between two and three (severe coma), and his signs of life were weak. After my own surgery, I was so anxious that the hospital allowed me to see my son. When I walked into the intensive care unit, I could hardly believe that the thin son in front of me was covered with tubes, and there was a machine next to him to help him breathe.

Why is this happening? This is not true! not real! Just a nightmare. But the cruel facts hit me head on, hitting me time and time again, forcing me to recognize the reality. Seeing what my son has suffered, as a mother, my heart is cut by a knife, and I cry out to God for mercy to save my son, even if it costs my own life.

see the light

The next day, Pastor Wei and his wife from the Church of God in New Jersey visited the hospital. The pastor told me that Jesus Christ could heal Steven. He also encouraged me with a testimony of God healing a patient and encouraged me to pray with faith, and Steven would be healed. At that time, I still believed in Buddhism. In addition to reading Buddhist scriptures every day, I also began to pray to Jesus Christ.

On the thirty-third day after the car accident, miraculously, my son's brain pressure gradually returned to normal, his blood pressure began to stabilize, and he could even begin to breathe on his own without relying on a respirator. After Steven's vital signs stabilized, he was transferred to Children's Hospital for continued treatment. When we arrived at Children's Hospital, we began the long and arduous road to recovery.

Steven was still in a severe coma at the time. I couldn't do anything and didn't know how to help my son. The only thing I could do was to read Buddhist scriptures and pray to Jesus Christ to heal him, day after day, without interruption.

The biggest hope every day is that my son will wake up and come home. However, the greater the expectations, the greater the disappointment, so I read Buddhist scriptures more actively, hoping that the Buddha I knew at that time would appear and help me eliminate misfortunes. Unexpectedly, the more I read Buddhist scriptures, the more my soul sinks into the abyss, and I can’t help myself from the pain!

Seeing my son who was seriously ill, I fell into a state of mind where I could neither survive nor die. Despair, self-blame, and guilt were like poisonous insects eating away at my depleted soul. One day, with my last shred of hope, I came to Jesus and asked Him to help me. Miraculously, my heart began to feel peaceful and liberated, and I gradually relied more and more on the peace that came from praying to Jesus. Buddhist scriptures, which were regarded as talismans in the past, were left behind and shelved in high cabinets.

Miracle appeared

When Steven was in a coma, an American lady came to visit me. She told me that although my son was in a coma, he could still hear our voices and asked me not to stop cheering him on. Her encouragement increased my confidence, so I kept talking, singing, and telling stories to my son every day, hoping to get a response from him, even if it was just a blink of an eye or a move of a finger, but I didn't get any. respond.

Three months later, the nurse brought a document and asked me to sign, saying that the medical team was giving up on my son’s rehabilitation treatment because Steven had not made any progress during the three months of treatment. But I firmly opposed it and refused to sign the document until my death.

During that period, the pastor, my wife, and many brothers and sisters in the church gave us a lot of care and encouragement, which not only warmed my heart, but also further strengthened my faith, allowing me to move forward courageously.

Two weeks later, one day I was still having a massage and chatting with my son. At the same time, I told Steven that if he heard my voice, give me a response, move his hands, lift his legs, etc. In an instant, he actually raised his heavily plastered left leg high. I immediately called the doctor. Unexpectedly, the doctor's response was surprisingly bland: "This action doesn't mean anything, it's just a normal human body reflex action." Although I didn't believe it, I had no choice but to accept it.

About ten days later, Steven did the same thing again that day, raising his left leg high, so I asked the doctor to check again. It was completely different from last time. This time the doctor firmly told me: "Steven is awake!" At that moment, "ecstatic" is not enough to describe my state of mind.

All the nurses and doctors in the hospital said the same thing to me: "It's a miracle that Steven woke up." I know that it was Jesus Christ who brought my son back. I thank God, my church pastor and my wife, and all the help. Our friends, thank you for my brave son.

After his son regained consciousness, he continued to undergo more rehabilitation treatments in the hospital and relearned everything, including speaking, eating, walking, etc. After six months we were finally able to go home!

▲Sister and brother have a cup of coffee together in the sunny afternoon. ▲The sister who loves Steven pushes her brother on a trip. ▲The author and his son Steven.

God's protection

After returning home, I entered the church with a grateful heart. When I heard the church’s hymns, I couldn’t stop crying. What a warm feeling! It feels like going home! I fell in love with this feeling and really wished I could stay in the church forever and not go home. In November 2003, I was baptized as a Christian, and the next year my whole family (husband and children) were also named in the name of the Lord.

This car accident caused the entire right half of my son's body to be unable to function normally, so he was unable to take care of himself in life and needed help from others. Even when we returned home, we could not stop his rehabilitation. We have tried many different treatments: acupuncture, diet therapy, longevity medicine, etc., but none of them have obviously helped. Even so, I will never give up.

I have always treated Steven with a heart of guilt and atonement. His life was ruined because of me, a healthy and normal child. I have never been able to forgive myself, and I sincerely hope that Heavenly Father will fulfill my wish to become a mother. I don’t want my son to be rich and powerful, I just want him to be safe and happy.

I remember that on Steven's tenth birthday, a social worker came to visit his home and hoped to give him a birthday gift. So he asked his son what gift he wanted most. Steven answered without hesitation: "Can I have a friend?" I burst into tears on the spot. I can give my son full love and try my best to meet his requirements, but how can I give him a friend? I can only kneel in front of my Abba Heavenly Father and ask the Lord for help.

In the early summer of 2004, my son, who suffered from depression after a car accident, came to me and said sternly: "Mom, do you know why my life is like this?" I asked, "Why? What do you think?" My son's The answer surprised me: "Because God wants me to shine for Him!" I asked curiously, "Who told you that?" Steven said, "I was alone in my room talking to myself, asking myself why my life is like this. , suddenly a voice said this to me.

This sentence shocked my heart very much. God personally spoke to his son and also cured his depression. After being discharged from the hospital, the son who had a frown and a gloomy personality now actually has a smile on his face and his heart has become joyful and broad. Time flies, and sixteen years have passed. The bitterness, blood, and tears along the way are so vivid in my mind that I cannot bear to look back. During this process, there were complaints, doubts, pain, and struggles, but it was all because of the unfailing love of Jesus Christ that surrounded me and allowed me to see the protection of my Abba, Heavenly Father. Although we face a future filled with many unknowns, I know that the Lord controls tomorrow. If I follow the Lord’s footsteps, I will not panic or fear, because Heavenly Father loves us. Just as God promised His chosen people: “Do not be afraid, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God, and I will strengthen you, I will help you, and I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. ” (Isaiah 41:10)

Xu Juying was born in Taiwan in 1966. She got married and had a son and a daughter. In 1995, her family immigrated to New Jersey, the United States. She has been engaged in the beauty and hairdressing industry for twenty years and has a private studio at home. In 2003, I was baptized into the name of the Lord. I was protected by God and my life was turned around. I am willing to follow the Lord’s footsteps throughout my life.