It's all the fault of straight A's
You can't do that, you will ruin my life!" (You can't do that, you will ruin my life!)
In May 2006, when my husband proposed in a family meeting that he would not send his children to public schools in September and instead provide "home education", his son Xiaojie, who was in seventh grade, jumped up and rebounded vigorously!
big choice
Of course, making such an important decision is not just a whim or a whim. Four years ago, I had the opportunity to interview several "homeschooling" families. I was truly envious of the harmonious and loving atmosphere in these families. My daughter’s piano teacher has been studying at home since the fourth grade of elementary school. She entered the music department of the university the year before last. Her gentle and humble temperament deeply attracted me!
Every time my friends ask me why I chose "home education"? I answered: "Proximate cause: saving the relationship with my son. Distal cause: glorifying God and benefiting others."
After many communications, we learned that the original reason for Xiaojie’s objection was that we had changed the “rules of the game” from humanism to theocentrism, from focusing on academic performance to focusing on character education.
Five years ago, my family immigrated to the United States. We, my husband and I, had not yet believed in the Lord. We told our children: If you get straight A’s, you can apply for a good university. If you get into a good university, you will have a good job. If you have a good job, you can live a good life. This wrong secular value has been embedded in Xiaojie's mind.
In the past, Xiaojie could never speak English. One year later, Xiaojie became fluent in English and his grades improved by leaps and bounds. He got into the circle of classmates with straight A grades and finally established a sense of security and identity in school. At this time, his parents wanted to pull him out. Leave public school and learn to adapt to a new learning model.
"Is there any way my mother can teach me English like a school teacher?"
"Without exams and rankings, where does the motivation to study come from?"
"What textbooks should I study and apply to university in the future?"
"Will self-study at home make me stupid?"
"In the future, I can no longer rely on "straight A's" to get pocket money and praise from my parents, so what should I do?"
Xiaojie had many questions in his mind.
It turns out that it was all the fault of the straight A’s. No wonder he was flustered. No wonder he objected!
In fact, both of us have already thought about the issues that Xiaojie is worried about. After several months of prayer, we thanked God for arranging several "home education" families to answer our questions. The children also experienced firsthand that God really bless godly families, so the whole family took a step of faith.
So far, I give my husband (principal) 89 points, the two students each get 85 points, and myself 70 points.
▲Wang Jie and Wang Yi’s “Home Education Mutual Aid Group” at Ruoge Church in New Jersey
▼In the educational activities held, make social research project reports.
life classroom
Academics are the most important aspect for Chinese parents. When choosing "home education", the first step must be to break through this psychological barrier. As long as the children's daily routine is established, academics will not be a problem.
"'Home education' does not mean moving the school to your home for classes." Ms. Wang Meiyu, a long-time mother, reminded me. Over the past six months, I have slowly come to understand the meaning of this statement. The learning level of "home education" is actually very broad. It is not only book knowledge, but also topics worth learning in life, such as church service, housework, shopping, travel... Parents need to learn with their children anytime and anywhere.
Our goal in the first year focuses on turning the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers. The first class every morning at 7:30 is "Wisdom Search", which is led by my husband in Bible reading and character development courses. This is the most enjoyable hour of my day.
I remember the first day I started “home education”. I took my two children to piano lessons that morning. On the way, I accidentally speeded up a hill and was ticketed by the police. The children laughed at me: “This is the first lesson this morning. I just learned to be alert. (Alertness), my mother didn’t drive “alertly” enough, so she got a ticket!”
A few weeks later the kids came with me to court, giving them another practical lesson! Since then, every time I drive, my child will remind me: "Be alert!" The ultimate goal of learning is to be able to apply it. Thanks to this ticket, our family can learn "Alertness"!
My husband often says, "Thoughts determine behavior, behavior determines habits, habits determine character, and character determines life." We are still in the first step. Our thoughts have been slowly updated, but the whole family is still temporarily changing their superficial behaviors. It takes a longer period of practice before it becomes a habit, develops good character, and finally becomes a Christian with inner life.
▲Invited my friend Pastor JoAnn Speer to my home to explain the Bible "Eight Blessings of the Kingdom of Heaven" to the children. The pastor used pictures to explain Matthew 5:6 in simple terms: "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. foot."
The whole family grows
In the past year, I have seen great changes in Xiaojie. He began to smile, spoke to me in a more friendly tone, took the initiative to greet me, asked questions, did housework, and read the Bible... My daughter, Wang Yi, has also begun to pay attention to organizing her own things. She is enthusiastic about learning in various subjects and likes to write diaries... She enjoys the online American history courses very much. She is now more familiar with computer operations than me and helps me with all my work. What about digital photos?
The two children have more time to practice the piano, and they play poems every morning before class to cheer up the whole family. Seeing the two brothers and sisters happy to do housework and gradually learn to love each other brings great comfort to my heart.
There are four forms of covenants with God posted on the wall of our house, indicating the responsibilities that each person should perform. If you see that other family members have not fulfilled their obligations, you can mark reminders on the forms at any time.
The vast majority of "homeschooling" families agree that the biggest beneficiary is the mother herself. Especially for me, I have to deal with my old self first before I can lead by example and learn and grow with my children.
Because of "home education", our husband and wife communicate more deeply, and my husband has become the real "spiritual leader" of the family. He leads us in prayer morning and night, inspires the whole family with God's words, and holds up the big umbrella of truth so that our whole family can Learn and trust in the peace and presence of God.
▲After "home education", Xiaojie always smiles, is cheerful and polite, which comforts his parents even more than bringing back a straight A report card.
Just obey
I have always been a busy career woman. In the past fourteen years, I have made many mistakes in raising children. After choosing "home education", I have more time to observe and appreciate my children.
Once I praised Xiaojie for his great piano playing, and he replied playfully: "I am already very good!" Later, when I praised him in other aspects, he always replied naughtily: "I am already very good." Great!" The sincere compliment opened his heart, showing confidence and a cheerful smile, something he had rarely seen in the past fourteen years.
However, as winter turned to spring this year, my mood hit rock bottom. A friend chased after him:
"Are you sure this is the best choice for your child?"
"Will you continue doing this next year?"
"Why are you working so hard?"
"How do you evaluate your child's learning outcomes?"
I suddenly felt like a deflated Elijah. Didn’t he just defeat Baal, the god of the heathen? Why do you get so scared and want to run for your life when someone challenges you now?
I don't want to talk to anyone. I have tried various ways to boost my mood, including reading the Bible, praying, going to the gym, going to restaurants, going to beauty salons, shopping, reading, sleeping... but nothing works. Finally, I knelt down and cried to God, "Lord! I can't do it anymore because I don't have enough discipline and ability. This responsibility is too heavy and too heavy. I can't harm my child!"
During those days, I hid and waited to see how God would save me. I almost gave up and was about to say to my children, "No more classes today!" At that moment, I had an idea in my mind and forced myself to read the textbook "Wisdom." Open the Wisdom Booklet. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was a photo of Queen Elizabeth I. I thought I should go to the "Legal Unit" today.
My mood lifted and I immediately jumped up, thanking the Lord for using my favorite historical figure to push me forward. That morning, my children and I spent two hours discussing Western history, starting with British history in the sixteenth century and tracing back to Martin Luther’s Reformation. I learned that although I have no power, God must have a way to save me, as long as I obey first.
Keep up the good work
After more than half a year of homeschooling, I have enjoyed growing up with my children. Sometimes I feel depressed, want to be lazy, and feel overwhelmed. My husband always encourages me: "Don't panic, be steady! We can't do good deeds." If you lose heart, you will reap a harvest in due time.”
We sincerely thank God for surrounding us with some families who help us. For our four-year-old born-again Christian family, "home education" is not easy, but it is worth it, especially when we have companions to help us feel lonely.
"I had a dream last night, dreaming about going back to public school...", "Mommy, this photo is so funny!" Every time my son shares little things with me, the joy he brings back is much greater. A report card with straight A’s is even more comforting!
Seeing Xiaojie's smile getting brighter and brighter, and thinking that our relationship as husband and wife is getting sweeter and sweeter, I think I will also laugh in my dream tonight!
Author profile
Liao Meihui, immigrated to the United States from Taiwan in 2001 and lives in New Jersey. When I have money, I like to travel independently; when I have inspiration, I like to interview and write stories; when I have no money and inspiration, I like to read a lot. She and her husband Wang Zhiyuan have a son and a daughter.