Gao Lv doesn’t go to school

In fact, for me, who has lived a life of studying abroad and receiving "education away from home" since I was a child, "education at home" is unimaginable. How can childhood be called childhood without teachers, classmates, campus, classrooms, exams (and cheating)? Without the prom, graduation ceremony, graduation trip, and the few graduation albums on my cluttered bookshelf, the hard work of studying would not be worth it, right?

Therefore, when the editor sister asked me if I would write an article about home education, I was extremely excited and eager to give it a try. After hanging up the phone, the main character that came to mind was my good friend Gao Donkey.

Gao Lv loves to dance

The reason why Gao Donkey is called Gao Donkey is of course because he is very tall. He is also very stubborn and very self-assertive. He needs a large piece of grass for him to roam comfortably and gallop freely to be happy.

The first time I met him was at a Latin dance, where he was responsible for teaching salsa to those of us who couldn’t control our limbs. "Hi, nice to meet you." I said, extending my right hand and looking up at his six-foot-five height. "Hello!" Gao Donkey replied kindly in his bass voice.

"You are so tall, you must have been the captain of the basketball team when you were a kid." I couldn't help but marvel.

"Well, I actually hate basketball. Since I was a kid, everyone thought I was a slam dunk master just because of my height. Actually, no, I prefer dancing. Besides, I didn't go to middle school or college, so I didn't join any school teams. "He shrugged and took my right hand in a circle. At five feet three, I stood up on my toes and turned, turning salsa into ballet.

"What?" I opened my mouth. In the United States, people who haven’t gone to high school or college seem to belong to my parents’ generation.

"It's not that I didn't go to middle school or university, it's that I didn't go to middle school or university." He was probably used to seeing strangers' stunned expressions, so he continued to explain naturally. "I was educated at home, Home Schooling."

Home Schooling? Isn’t this an experience that only children who grow up in an extremely conservative and closed “greenhouse” have? Looking at Gao Donkey, he doesn't look like someone who is overprotected, has no EQ, and no social common sense, and doesn't know where to put his hands and feet in a crowd.

"Why don't you go to school?" I asked.

"Oh, I think school is boring and restrictive, and I just want to stay at home and play. My parents think that character building and spiritual growth are more important than English, mathematics, physics and chemistry. Besides, I am more willful and often spend time on Sundays. The teacher was really annoying when I asked questions about things I didn’t understand in the Bible in school. He avoided my questions every Sunday, which made me very dissatisfied. Finally, my parents decided to teach on their own, stimulating and even challenging my pursuit of faith every day. and inquiry. This is something you don’t learn in public schools or churches.”

The music stopped and I forgot what I asked next. In short, from that day on, I knew that Gao Donkey was a very special person: he was a Christian but he knew how to "eat, drink and have fun". He could grow so tall after being a vegetarian all his life. At the age of seventeen, he went to Los Alamos National Laboratory ( Note) As an intern, you can become an information technology engineer at Harvard University without a college degree. I resigned from my job the year before last and am now wandering around. Where do I get my living expenses from? I am both puzzled and curious.

A day in the life of a little tall donkey

I still remember that after my sister’s college graduation ceremony, a group of us, who stood out from the crowd but had no diploma, went to a buffet to celebrate. I curiously asked him about the origin of "home education". It turns out that Gao Donkey grew up in an almost hippie-like alternative family.

He has been advocating freedom and loving nature since he was a child. He often helps his parents grow vegetables on the family-run organic fruit and vegetable farm and sells vegetables at the stalls of the Farmer's market (which is also a flea market and sells second-hand goods, groceries, etc.). One day, after attending elementary school for only five years, he got up in the morning, ran to his parents' bedside and announced loudly: "From today on, I won't go to school. School means nothing to me, so I won't go." In this way, he began to live his life without school.

"Is there a mistake?" several of us who had spent most of our lives in school shouted in disbelief.

"If it were me, my mother would have slapped her and shouted: 'You are looking for death, talking to your mother in such a tone!'" My friend the hedgehog made a slap gesture, imitating the mother hedgehog's anger. He is of Vietnamese descent. After his mother fled to the United States and gave birth to him, she told her every day that she should study hard to get ahead.

"That's right, in Singapore, students and soldiers have no freedom." Koala, who became a college student after serving in the military, also adjusted his thin-framed glasses and sighed.

"You little Singaporeans, why do you need soldiers? You can blow them all up with just one shell, hahaha." Everyone joked.

"Hey, this is about the dignity and glory of the country...please respect it, cough cough." The koala pretended to be serious and funny.

"Well, I have never felt like this. But sometimes I wonder, what do you have that I don't have? Things like the alumni quarterly, class reunions, etc. are all very strange to me." Gao Lu thought. He replied after a moment.

"Isn't it strange that there is no graduation ceremony?" asked my sister, who has only completed four years of college.

"No, it's just a ritual. If I go to middle school like you, I won't be able to plan and arrange my own time to go to and from class. Sometimes we also have "field classes" on weekends, so that during the week You can choose a day as a "free day".

"Tell me how your typical day of 'home education' goes." Everyone asked again.

A day in the life of Little Gao Donkey is roughly like this:

7am-9am Weeding, watering, fertilizing, pruning, picking, shipping or selling fruits and vegetables.
9am-10am Family devotional and communication time. Get together as a family to share responses and talk about important things.
10am -12pm Natural Sciences.
12pm-1pm Lunch time.
1pm-2:30pm English and Literature (Gao Lu’s favorite).
2:30 pm-4pm Society and Mathematics.
4pm-? "It seems to be something like exercise, housework, or cooking." The grown-up Gao Donkey forgot.

The most different thing from everyone else is that Xiao Gaolu has one hour of "family spiritual practice and communication time" every day. It's strange. A family of six is usually tired of being together all day long. How can we have so much to talk about? Not to mention how shy and uncomfortable it is to talk about what you have learned from the bottom of your heart after reading the Bible. I left home when I was fifteen, and I only spoke to my parents on the phone once a week or two, and only came home once a year. Not to mention boys, the conversations they have had with their parents since childhood have probably been nothing more than "um, okay, oh, no, yes, delicious, and I want more!"

"No, I often relate everything in life to the Bible and report it to everyone. Once, I asked questions like, 'What does the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil look like? Is it sweet?' Is it sweet?" Mom asked me to go to the library and the botanical garden to do research. Not only did I write a paper, but I also drew pictures to explain why the fruit of the Tree of Good and Evil should be like this. It was very fun. "

"Also, I can personally feel what the Psalm says: 'He will be like a tree planted by the streams, which bears fruit in season and its leaves will not wither.' The picture is so meaningful. All the hard work of planting and caring , pruning are all worth it. I often can’t finish saying these thoughts and have to write them down!” No wonder Gao Lu is so thoughtful and a good communicator who can speak well and write well.

"Oh, it sounds like our church fellowship gathering, where we share and share, like seeing a psychiatrist." The taciturn husband responded with a frown. He is most afraid of sharing and always makes excuses to go to the toilet to "escape".

I pinched my husband's arm and everyone laughed.

Gao donkey goes wandering

Now, the tall donkey man has rented an apartment in Buenos Aires, the capital of Argentina, saying he will write a travel book about his wanderings. The last time I contacted him via email, he told me that he was halfway done and was about to leave for Uruguay.

"You've been running around like this for two years. Did your parents stop you?" I asked him. "No, they all support me. They know that in addition to work and love, there are other important things in life worth pursuing. On the contrary, ordinary friends are unlikely to understand this need to temporarily exile themselves. They often ask me to find myself. I have to find out when, saying that I am too slow at the adult starting point," he said a little helplessly. I nodded in front of the computer screen to understand his mood.

Since childhood, one of us has been accustomed to being independent from home, and the other has been accustomed to being independent from home. Both of us have developed a focus on self-realization and do not blindly follow the current popular social concepts.

I think Gao Lu’s well-intentioned parents who taught him in accordance with his aptitude gave him correct values and sense of worth, and encouraged him to pursue God’s call and his own dreams, and to live a life that provides a sense of fulfillment and meaning. I wonder if most children educated at home will become independent and life-loving people when they grow up? However, if parents are willing to spend so much time personally nurturing and supervising their children, then not only will they not lose at the starting point, but they will also be able to clearly choose the path they want to take.

It’s just that I still don’t quite understand where Gao Lu got the spare money to travel like this in the past few years. This cannot be learned at school or at home!

Note:Los Alamos National Laboratory is one of 21 major laboratories of the U.S. Department of Energy and the largest research institute in New Mexico.

Author profile

Chenjun, adult educator. Born in Taiwan, came to the United States in high school and now lives in Boston.