{"id":9860,"date":"2025-02-14T01:01:00","date_gmt":"2025-02-14T06:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/e-krc.org\/?post_type=article&p=9860"},"modified":"2025-04-23T21:30:50","modified_gmt":"2025-04-24T01:30:50","slug":"friends-help-through-grieving","status":"publish","type":"article","link":"https:\/\/e-krc.org\/en\/article\/friends-help-through-grieving\/","title":{"rendered":"How My Friends Helped Me During My Grieving and Suffering"},"content":{"rendered":"

When my wife, Linda, passed away in April 2023, I wasn\u2019t prepared to go through the pain that comes with such a grief journey. The first three months were the hardest for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By the grace of God, I\u2019ve now begun to change my focus from looking back to what I have lost, to what I plan to do to move forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I look back, I must thank at least six different kinds of friends who brought their caring gifts to minister to me during my time of suffering. Each friend came at just the right time using their different gifts which contributed to my timely and proper healing. I hope you can learn and follow the examples of my friends so you can also care for your friends well as they are going through their suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Friend #1 - Generous with His Time and Heart<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

After my wife\u2019s passing, I went back to Taiwan to visit my siblings and friends during the summer of 2023. One day, my friend took the whole day off and came to take me out to tour some beautiful scenic spots near the Taipei suburb areas. We stopped at a restaurant that specialized in organically raised chickens and family-farmed produce. We even had a chance to have afternoon coffee and snacks. Of course, as we enjoyed the day together, we wished Linda were there with us. We ended our day by enjoying the scenic beauty driving along the seashore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the end of the day, I thanked my friend repeatedly. He had given me a whole day to be with me and treated me to a healthy and sumptuous lunch, and also helped me with processing my grief. My friend might not know that what he had done was so soothing and healing to my suffering soul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Friend #2 - A couple whose singing soothed my broken heart!<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

On my 84th birthday in December 2024, I was a little bit down because I was living alone in this senior community. When I went out shopping that day, my friends left a message on my phone recording their soprano and bass duet harmony, singing Happy Birthday to me. The music was so touching to my heart. The music from their hearts really made my day and encouraged me to move forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Friend #3 - A friend who had the spiritual insight to give me the healing message I needed<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

One day I got a very beautiful card from a very good friend with healing words that touched my very soul. It said:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cMay God\u2019s loving presence comfort you, His perfect peace restore you, and His promise of eternal life sustain you during this time of loss.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

This was the exact light of truth that I needed during my time of gloomy grieving. I actually shouted, \u201cYes, God\u2019s three Ps (Presence, Peace, and Promise) is what I need at this time!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have shared these three Ps with many friends, encouraging them to appreciate God\u2019s grace and move forward with God\u2019s blessings. What a joy to have this wise person as a close family friend!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Friend #4 - A friend who became the hands and feet of Jesus<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

One day another friend couple called, wanting to bring their prepared lunch to visit me. As we shared and enjoyed lunch together, my spirit was lifted up. I wanted to shed tears of joy and give thanks to this couple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Here in my home, I was taught what it meant to be \u201cthe hands and feet of Jesus.\u201d In my ear, I was hearing Jesus\u2019 words, \u201c\u2026whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me\u201d (Matthew 25:40b, NIV).<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Friend #5 - My two grown sons who are two \u201cfriends\u201d I can call and write to any time. They have listening ears and unconditional love for me!<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Over the past twenty months, while suffering grief, I often put my emotions into written words as a way to process all kinds of feelings. Right after I finished my writing, I would send it to my two sons. Then they would respond, listen, and show their empathy. My two sons are two \u201cfriends with whom I am well-pleased!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Friend #6 - By the grace of God\u2019s friendship, I did not let platitudes and exhortations derail my grief journey.<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

During my grief, I did encounter a few examples from people who did not know better and would say something like these:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  1. (1) \"Oh, she is in a better place now.\"<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. (2) \"I know how you feel.\"<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. (3) \"It has been a year now, you should get over it.\"<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Whenever I hear words like this, I choose to let them pass by my ears and not let them linger in my heart. Because I know that these people have no ill intentions, they just lack empathy and cannot truly help those who are grieving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Looking forward to the future with gratitude<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

    I am grateful to all my friends who appeared at the right time to help me when I needed them. Now I can look back at what I have lost and let go of all that. At the same time, I realize that it\u2019s time to look forward to what God still has in store for me. I am sure that I still have missions to accomplish and more friendships to enjoy before God calls me Home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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