搬進退休社區，重拾失落已久的珍寶

THE DECISION TO MOVE

In late February 2023, my wife, Linda, abruptly told me, “George, I want to move out of this house, because the upper, middle and lower floors are getting harder and harder for me to climb up and down every day!” I immediately replied, “If you want to move, let’s get started planning now!”

By early March, we had successfully sold the house we called our home for 46 years. Our two sons promptly helped us find a suitable community where we could live independently. The rental supervisor said that we could move in at the beginning of April. Although the apartment with one bedroom and two bathrooms was smaller than the previous house, it was relatively new and located in a park-like environment. Now that we had a place to move to, our next challenge was to declutter all the “stuff” and down-size our lifestyle to a manageable one for our next life phase.

LETTING GO OF THE “STUFF”

Our goal was to be ready to move out of our old house in three or four weeks. Consequently, we made a bold decision: we would take only 10% of our belongings from our old home to the new home to embark on a new chapter of our lives. With the help of our real estate agent, we gave away all the old furniture. We promptly purchased a full set of IKEA’s simple, well-designed furniture for our dining room and living room. A new sofa and IKEA bed were delivered to the new apartment before we moved in.

As we went through the process, I realized that things we had no emotional connection with, such as the furniture, TVs, lawn mowers, etc. were easy to dispose of. But it took more time to sort accumulated photos from previous years, especially the photos of my sons’ weddings and the commemorative albums specially made by professional photographers. These albums captured details of our Kuo family’s life for nearly half a century. Looking at each album, I struggled between keeping it or throwing it away. Eventually, we decided to move only the more precious albums.

Linda and I had our own study rooms, and we had to find a quick way to deal with books and documents. Books were relatively easy to handle. In the Internet era, reference books and books in general had lost their value of retention, so we gave them to nearby libraries. We kept only a few of our favorite Bibles and gave all the other Bibles to a local church.

As for the documents, we did a quick review and divided them into two categories. The first category was labeled “to be reviewed later,” and saved in a box. I did take a glance at the box and noticed that there were some old manila envelopes labeled with other files tagged “treasured files.” Desiring to finish packing to make the time for moving, we quickly sealed the box without knowing what they were. We discarded all the rest of the old files which were outdated and had no value to keep.

The wardrobe was another place that took us some time, especially Linda’s clothes. At that time, we found Linda’s health was declining, but every piece of clothing to be given away still needed her consent. Later, in order to meet the deadline for moving, I had to repeatedly send many items to the donation center, including many new clothes that had not been worn or just worn a few times.

UNEXPECTED FEELINGS OF PEACE AND DELIGHT

The walk-in closet of the new house was just the right size to accommodate the clothing we brought over. I recalled with emotion that when I came to the United States for graduate study in 1966 from Taiwan, I only brought two suitcases. Now, after nearly 60 years, we had collected so much “stuff” that I needed to let go of almost everything. Looking at the new home after the move, everything was magically in its rightful place. Now we just had all the things we truly need in this new place, no more and no less!

Another thing I noticed was letting go of many things in my house was not as hard as I anticipated. In fact, I felt a sense of relief and liberation; breathing seemed to be easier and more relaxed, as there was no more “stuff” obstructing the free flow of air!

Now that I have lived in my new home for more than two years, I deeply understand that when the residence is simple and clear and the things are just right, I feel particularly relaxed and happy.

ANOTHER TURNING POINT OF OUR LIVES

In the process of preparing to move and to sell the house, we found that Linda had a significant health issue. She began experiencing difficulties with walking and maintaining her balance. After various tests and diagnoses, our family doctor told us that Linda had both a brain tumor and lung cancer. It was a profound shock for our family, but Linda bravely and calmly told us that it was her desire not to seek any cancer therapy and was ready to go to the “Heavenly Home” naturally.

We moved into our new home smoothly on April 10th. Linda’s health became weaker day by day. After ten days of hospice care, she passed away around 10 p.m. on April 24, 2023. Originally, I was expecting to down-size our lifestyle and start a new chapter of our lives together in this senior community. But little did I know things would unfold in a way that I was not prepared for and I found myself living a single life again.

TREASURED FILES FOUND

On March 16, 2025, Linda had by now passed away for almost two years, and I suddenly thought of the box of documents we moved over and labeled “to be reviewed later.” Also, I remembered glancing over a manila file labeled as treasured letters in the box. So I decided to revisit it and was surprised to see all these “treasured letters” we saved in the summer of 1969 still intact with all the letters neatly packed.

All the loving memories flooded back instantly. Here’s the story behind these treasured letters:

Linda and I both came to America from Taiwan and met in January 1969 at the University of Missouri, Columbia, MO. We fell deeply in love and had plans to get married soon. During the summer vacation, Linda needed to work in Lexington, Kentucky to earn enough money for next semester’s study cost for her degree and I had to continue doing research work in the chemistry department.

At that time, Linda wrote me a letter every day, sometimes even two. I also sent her letters in response. For us, writing love letters to each other was the most critically important thing during that summer. After reading Linda’s letters, I would put them meticulously in the envelope. Throughout that summer, we exchanged at least 45-50 love letters. When Linda returned to school, she, like me, diligently collected the letters I gave her and handed them over to me for storage. The manila envelope was used to store these “treasured letters” back in 1969.

So I finally opened this precious file and began reading the love letters Linda and I wrote to each other 56 years ago. Each letter was still clear and legible. As I read the love letters, I was moved to tears. We were so young and so innocent (I was 29 and she was 24). The words we used (both in Chinese and in English) were so simple and even childish, but we were so sincere. Now I realized that during our younger days, we dared to love each other so deeply and so passionately!

As I looked upon these worn-out love letters, I was emotionally overwhelmed and at a loss of what to do with them. I was torn between keeping them or discarding them! With tears welling up in my eyes, a flash of inspiration came to me. I knew exactly what to do. I spread all the love letters across my bed and took a picture with my mobile phone. Then, with tearful eyes, I tore apart the love letters, one by one, and said goodbye to them. I thought at least in the photos on the mobile phone, they still bore witness that Linda and I once loved each other so deeply and profoundly. In my mind and spirit, I whispered a wish: May these become beautiful memories! I knew there was still a long journey ahead of me, and I had to keep on moving forward!

EMBRACING A NEW BEGINNING

Looking through the large floor-to-ceiling window of my apartment, I was enjoying the park-like community with serene surroundings. My room was bathed in natural daylight and was adorned with several pieces of simple and elegant furniture, including a new sofa bed, a low round table plus a desk, a computer and a printer. As soon as I entered the room, everything was clear at a glance, and I felt the air circulating freely and freshly! This has been my new world and new life for more than two years.

How lucky I am, how grateful I feel! In the spirit, I seem to hear a distant and familiar cry: It’s been a while, Hon. My response: His will be done.

This experience of moving and losing my beloved wife has taught me a lot of life lessons. I learned the wisdom of letting go, experienced the beauty of a simple life, and deeply felt the preciousness of marital love and the intimacy developed through our long marriage journey. Although Linda is no longer with me, the cherished memories and deep love we shared together will always reside in my heart! As I look forward to the life journey ahead, I choose to move forward with gratitude and hope.

George Kuo lives in southern New Jersey. He and his late wife, Linda, led marriage and relationship enrichment ministries for many years, including authoring a popular book on marital intimacy, Oneness in Marriage, based on Biblical principles and their own experiences through their many decades of marriage.

You can learn more about their ministry work and writings here:e-krc.org/article/oneness-marriage-interview.

Since Linda’s passing into eternity in April 2023, George has been sharing his faith and journey of grief within his senior living community and beyond.