Issue 82
Project Arctos Articles

Using Emotional Intelligence to Inspire New Leaders

By Tiffany Tang

Around late February 2026, I started working full time at a school for kids with special needs. During my time there, I had to learn how to properly communicate with the students on proper behavior during class as well as how my actions can impact them in the classroom. Around a couple of weeks after working there, I attended my first workshop on how faculty in school can become more involved and encouraging to give students a good education. The workshop was led by a specialist from ADP.

One of the main takeaways from her workshop is how we can regulate our own emotions in the classroom, how we can express how we feel in a healthy manner, and how emotional intelligence builds the culture we create. I found the overall experience to be very engaging as someone who aspires to work in mental health because emotional intelligence is one of the biggest factors in that field. Regardless of where it is, whether it’s at school or at church, the foundation of teaching something to someone follows similar patterns, most of which can stem from emotional intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence
The ability to recognize, understand, and deal skillfully with one’s own emotions and the emotions of others (as by regulating one's emotions or by showing empathy and good judgment in social interactions). Source: Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Emotional intelligence can be defined in a variety of ways, but it is most commonly associated with how we express our own emotions and how we can understand others. It is during moments of stress where emotional intelligence is truly tested. One of the things that stood out to me during that workshop was when the host stated how people who have difficulty collaborating with others have trouble managing their own emotions. It doesn’t matter how complete we are if we can’t manage to show up emotionally. Healthily expressing our emotions is not the same as suppressing them. It made me think that this could potentially be a reason why there are students who can be difficult to work with, especially at first.

So how can we use emotional intelligence to inspire new leaders? From my experience, many people that I know often don’t pursue being a leader in a Christian community because they believe they are not best suited for the role and are not capable. Most notably, they often have a fear of failing as a leader and not fulfilling the role granted to them. As someone who believes herself best suited to serve Christ as a healer, I can most definitely understand that feeling. However, as human beings we are always evolving and always growing.

From the workshop, building emotional intelligence requires the following steps:

1) Build Self-Awareness

  • Before you start learning to understand others, it is important to learn how to understand yourself.
  • What happened? How did it make you feel? How did you respond? Why did you respond the way you did?
  • I remember hearing that people who are most afraid of being a bad parent are usually the ones who normally do a decent job. It’s usually those who believe themselves to not do any wrong that end up being bad parents. This is mainly because those who are afraid of doing a bad job are more self-critical and self-reflective with the impact they have on their children’s lives.

2) Practice Self-Regulation

  • Once you understand how your emotions work, you can start learning how to manage them.
  • Once you learn how to manage them, you can then learn how to communicate them to others.
  • In Scripture, we can see the importance of self-regulation.
    Paul writes: “Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)” (1 Timothy 3:1-5, NIV).

3) Develop Awareness of Others

  • While we always have our differences in opinions and values, we all feel emotions the same way.
  • Instead of trying to understand what others believe in, mainly focus on how they feel.
  • Understand why they react the way they do based on how they were feeling at the moment.
  • Respect their boundaries and their autonomy.
  • While it would be ideal for a student to become more involved in Christ, they still have the right to their beliefs.

4) Learn Intentional Relational Movement
(Moving towards others in deliberate, purposeful ways)

  • How you express your emotions may influence others on whether they should live out what you teach.
  • This is what will develop cultural impact.
  • Always commit and be sincere.
  • Provide reassurance to those still learning about what it means to be a leader in Christ.
  • And don’t be afraid! Remember what God told Joshua,
    “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9, NIV).

Most of the time, those who start something new may be insecure and possibly overwhelmed with the responsibilities they have to uphold. This was definitely me when I first started my job, and I still struggle with that to this day. What really helped me through was always asking questions and expressing my concerns to my colleagues while they in turn had the patience to explain and guide me. My colleagues themselves understood what it was like to be in my current position and their insight from their own experiences helped me manage any sort of difficulty I faced during work.

Having emotional intelligence can help build trust and psychological stability. Learning is always a collaborative effort between mentor and student, which means trust must be earned by both parties. When people feel understood, they feel safe. Therefore, they are more likely to be vulnerable about how they feel and what they are thinking. If a student does not feel safe, then they are less likely willing to be cooperative. This isn’t one person solving a problem, but rather two people working together to reach an objective.

Emotional intelligence isn’t something that is done by nature but rather is something used in daily practice. Much like how leadership isn’t something a person is born with, but is taught to them. Both require patience and grace in order to grow and develop, and can help bring more light and healing into this world. The host of this workshop stated that in order for something to become a culture, it needs to be done in the small repetitive actions rather than through grand changes. It is something that is enduring and lasts. With this wisdom in mind, we can nurture a new generation of leaders in Christ.

TIffany Tang is a recent graduate from Rutgers University, earning her Bachelors in Arts, majoring in psychology and communication. She is currently working full-time as a paraprofessional (otherwise known as a teacher’s aide) at a school for children with special needs. She aspires to do God’s work as a healer, whether it’s through her knowledge in psychology or through the Word and power of Christ. She likes food, movies, TV, music, deep conversations, and writing fictional stories, currently working on her own fantasy series.