Making Peace with Time, Moving Forward Together
Open the media, open books and newspapers, and look for the word "retirement". Related information is overwhelming. As a member of the last wave of the baby boomer army (1945-1964), the author has officially entered his 60s. At the age of 56, he was forced to retire early due to the epidemic of the century. Looking back on my mood and determination over the past few years, I can summarize it in a few words - make peace with the years and move forward.
Exercise the "two legs" for retirement
《神國》雜誌74期〈輕舟已過萬重山〉一文，提到良好健康與財務自由是關乎退休品質最重要的「兩條腿」。的確，大部分人一談到退休生活，最直接的話題，就是健康好不好；錢夠不夠用。
"Early retirement" is part of my husband and I's life plan. In fact, as early as when we turned 50, we had discussed and started preparing for early retirement and looking for the possibility of devoting more time to serving God. The first decision we made at that time was to enter the Chinese Evangelical Theological Seminary in North America together as a couple and begin to pave the way for cross-cultural missionary work after retirement.
Once you have your goals for life after retirement, you need to start making financial preparations. This is a long-term plan, so after discussing it with our children, we formulated three premises:
1) After raising two children after graduating from college, they must be financially independent, study for graduate school or even get married, and their parents can only provide a small amount of financial support.
2) The mortgage, student loan and car loan have all been paid off without any debt.
3) Actively accumulate liquidity and reach a certain amount that can support you to start receiving retirement benefits at the age of 63.
The sudden COVID-19 epidemic in 2020 forced our retirement plans to come forward. At that time, I came to Asia from the United States to visit relatives. I originally planned to stay only for a short period of time, but I didn't expect to stay for more than two years. On the one hand, the consumption level is low, on the other hand, they have retirement goals in mind and try to reduce expenses as much as possible. Thanks to God’s provision, not only do I feel no financial pressure, but I also enjoy a simple and simple daily life. This also prepares for the adjustment of lifestyle after "official" retirement, which confirms that early retirement is the right choice!
One factor that prevents many people from retiring early may be health insurance; if you are too young to apply for Medicare, individual insurance is quite expensive. During our time living in Asia, we became beneficiaries of medical insurance, which made our burden much lighter.
However, insurance is for when you are sick, and having a strong body is the best policy. In the past, I was busy with work and used my car to travel when I went out, so I needed to deliberately arrange my fitness time. When living in Asia, I relied more on walking or cycling. There was less pressure from the nine-to-five job, and very fresh ingredients could be bought in the market... Unknowingly, my physical strength and endurance increased.
Just like any exercise, the "two legs" of retirement life also need to have goals and progress. With time and effort, I believe you will see results.
Practicing "Two Hands" for Retirement
From planning to retire, to actually retiring, to starting a new "career" after retirement - missionary work, I would like to use my own experience to share the "two hands" of practicing retirement life: putting extra effort into managing your marriage and strengthening your faith.
When you are still in the workplace, the relationship between husband and wife needs to be carefully cultivated, not to mention that after retirement, the two may be together all the time. How to prevent life’s bumps and bruises from hurting your feelings? Perhaps you can start with the following points:
1.Respect habits; develop hobbies: My husband likes to get up early every day to exercise. If I can't get up early, I try my best to prepare breakfast for him. There is no need to rush to work after retirement. If you want to be in a good mood and enjoy a beautiful day, start with a hearty breakfast. My husband likes to climb hills, and I will accompany him to the end. I like reading and writing, and my husband allows me not to do housework and not recognize my relatives while I am writing, so that I can concentrate on writing. When I encounter good books and masterpieces, I will take the initiative to recommend them to him. It also gives us a little more to talk about and have a more in-depth conversation.
2.Create an atmosphere; communicate deliberately: After retirement, couples will spend more time together, so there won’t be less conversation and communication, right? However, there is often a lot of talk, but the quality is limited to daily necessities and trivial matters. This kind of talk is only the first level of communication. Generally speaking, men tend to be passive in their speech expressions, unless they are needed for work or exchanging information (What to eat for lunch? The price of eggs has increased recently...). Generally, husbands become more taciturn after retirement. At this time, the wife should wisely find opportunities to deliberately talk about topics that interest her spouse, or arrange activities that both of them like. In addition to reading, I will also take the initiative to plan movie nights or arrange short trips for two days and one night. Even to celebrate birthdays or wedding anniversaries, they deliberately stay in hotels to create a lively atmosphere and have deep conversations.
3.Reflection on marriage; recommitment: When the couple was young, they worked hard together in their careers and raised their children. As the days passed, sometimes they had no time to care about what their close lover beside their pillow was thinking. After retirement, my physical strength is not as good as before, but I am also less disturbed by the pressure of work and life. You might as well slow down the pace, put your hearts and efforts in one place, rekindle the fire of love, and truly live out the biblical teachings of husbands loving their wives and wives respecting their husbands. And remind yourself that the ultimate goal of marriage is to glorify God, not to satisfy your own needs. If a couple has a conflict, it is not because you win and I win, but because the husband and wife become one, think about their commitment, and finally admit their guilt and reconcile with each other.
"Two become one" refers to the union of body, mind and soul. Strengthen your faith before retirement, and even more so after retirement. Physical strength may decline with age, but the heart and soul can be renewed every day and remain strong. The following points are for readers’ reference:
1.Personal spiritual practice: stay away from false efforts, practice self-discipline and truly learn. After retiring, they entered cross-cultural missionary work. Among the groups they belong to, there are many retirees in their 40s and 50s. After they retire, they spend most of their time worshiping and reading religious scriptures. This reminds me that as Christians, our spiritual practice is not to accumulate merit, but to get closer to God; because we are attracted by God’s love and God’s words, we practice spirituality every day.
2.Small Group Devotionals: If you have a book club, Bible study group, or study group every week, your life after retirement will be more fulfilling and beautiful. God has placed us in the Body of Christ so that we can learn together with other members, support and encourage each other. Especially where I live now, it is difficult to find friends of the same faith. Fortunately, there are online gatherings, and I truly feel that "we are as close as we are to the end of the world."
3.Serve everyone: After retirement, I have enough time and flexibility to actively connect with Christian organization activities and seek service opportunities inside and outside the church. I once heard that a church convened retirees and elders to form an "Old God" club. In addition to getting to know each other and communicating, it also aimed to gather manpower and resources to serve the community and preach the gospel. I believe that retirees who have entered their "golden" years are not only in the golden autumn of life, but also the career and life experience they have accumulated will be as precious as gold and can be used to bless many people.
Make peace with time
In the first few years after retirement, you may enter a period of exploration: sometimes you feel disappointed, lamenting that the past titles and values are no longer there; sometimes you are excited and no longer bow down to five buckets of rice. But I hope that in the end I can rely on the Holy Spirit to adjust my mentality and daily routine, find the focus of my life, and understand that retirement is not just about exiting the industry - ending a career, but also entering the industry - starting another path of "I am born to be useful."
When Nobel Prize winner Mo Yan mentioned retirement, he once said loudly that after retirement, you can have more choices and don't have to stick to fixed projects. Don't dwell on the "old three" (square dancing, playing mahjong, and raising children and grandchildren), but turn to more spiritual life to enrich yourself. In fact, as long as you are willing, whether you go to a senior college, work as a volunteer, or switch to a part-time job, and develop the "three new things" that are beneficial to yourself and society, you can guarantee your happiness in your later years after retirement. He also reminded us to pay attention to our mentality. Comparison, calculation, and saving face... are all meaningless and torturing.
Some people describe working hard in the workplace as driving on a highway; when every car is accelerating, you are not allowed to take off the accelerator and slow down. Life after retirement is like getting off the highway and turning onto a country road. The speed of the car is slowed down. Even if the road is winding, you can enjoy the scenery along the way.
Retirement is actually not necessarily about entering a stage of "rest and peace", but about making peace with the years.. As time goes by, there is helplessness and sadness, but also full of hope. After retirement, I would like to keep moving forward and not stand still. After all, God’s creation is so beautiful, and there are so many things that I haven’t eaten, seen, done, or experienced yet, waiting for me to experience them.
No matter how much you prepare and train, you will still encounter dissatisfaction and disappointment after retirement. You envy my freedom, and I envy your constraints; you envy my house, and I envy your car; you envy my income from work, and I envy that you always have a lot of rest time. If you can learn to live a simple and profound life with tolerance and humility, and find or discover the meaning of life, I believe you can still use your remaining energy and continue to be a good steward of God.
Will life be like what Moses said: "In a blink of an eye, it will become nothing and fly away"? If you allow yourself to become a "classic car" parked in the garage, you will eventually become useless scrap metal. If you take good care of it and start it up all the time, just like the medical missionary Dr. Mackay said, "I would rather burn out than rust," maybe you can run a few more miles in the kingdom of God?
I hope that when we meet the Lord, you and I can say: The good fight has been fought, the race has been finished, and the faith has been kept.
Comrades who are preparing to retire or have already retired, let us not dwell on the past and move forward!
Xiao, has two adult children. At the age of 36, he immigrated to the United States and began to follow Jesus Christ. At the age of 50, he studied at the Chinese Evangelical Theological Seminary in North America. At the age of 56, he retired early. At the age of 58, he entered cross-cultural missionary work. I wish to enrich the rest of my life with writing, traveling, and children’s picture books.
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The Sins of White Supremacy Culture
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