From Brokenness to a Road of Grace
Growth Requires Grace
The women's fellowship is a joyful gathering.
At that time, some of us had just gotten married and moved to a new country, while others were raising young children. We always had endless things to talk about—marriage, relationships with in-laws, parenting, cooking, and even financial or everyday challenges of adapting to a new life. Sometimes we laughed together; sometimes tears filled our eyes as we prayed for one another and passed around tissues. When a hymn's lyrics spoke especially to our hearts, we would sing loudly together, or softly meditate on the words, finding comfort and strength in God's presence.
Of course, our gatherings were not just about chatting. We also read books together and occasionally invited someone to share insights from what they had read. I was a bit of a rebel by nature, and I often felt that the central message of the group was teaching women to become “submissive wives.” The sister leading the group had a gentle face and spoke with quiet conviction. Yet as I listened, I found myself arguing inwardly: If my husband is unwilling to help with household chores, leaves all the childcare to me, and certainly is not laying down his life for me, why should I submit to him?
Over the years, I have grown from a young wife into a middle-aged woman. Through the passage of time, my husband and I have journeyed through marriage together, crossing one mountain after another. Along the way, I came to understand that true change begins with myself. Only by learning to become more like Christ can I begin to grasp the true meaning of submission and sacrificial love.
Growth is a journey of grace.
Philip Yancey immediately comes to mind whenever the subject of grace is raised. Early in 2026, news emerged of his affair with a married woman. A friend expressed both shock and disappointment. She had carefully read Yancey’s books over the years, underlining passages and reflecting deeply on his insights. Now she wondered: What should she make of all that?
During that period, many people offered their opinions on Philip Yancey’s “fall from grace.” Some reflected on the implications, while others sought to encourage his loyal readers. The questions most often raised were: Can we still read his books? If even he could fall, what hope is there for ordinary believers? Should we be careful not to forgive too quickly simply because of his reputation? My friend and I also discussed the matter through messages. In the end, we felt it might be best to set his books aside for a time and focus instead on the Scriptures themselves. That seemed the more solid and dependable place to anchor our hearts.
With Philip Yancey’s affair now public, his wife of fifty-five years, Janet Yancey, shared that she made her statement “from a place of profound trauma and devastation—an experience that can only be fully understood by those who have endured betrayal themselves.” Yet she also affirmed that she would not abandon the sacred marriage covenant and promises she made so many years ago. She acknowledges and accepts that through Jesus Christ, God has already paid the price for the sins of the world and offers forgiveness—including forgiveness for Philip’s sin. May God grant her grace, healing, and restoration, and in time, the ability to forgive. Please remember her in your prayers.
I felt Janet’s pain and sense of betrayal deeply. Her statement brought to mind a sister I’ll call “T,” who years ago led the women’s fellowship my mother attended.
As Though Walking Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death
Mrs. T’s husband was a minister. He was humorous, outspoken, blessed with a booming voice and an imposing stature. His sermons were practical and down-to-earth, though sometimes delivered with a certain forcefulness. Mrs. T herself was petite and unassuming, not particularly concerned with appearance. At my mother’s women’s fellowship, she would occasionally share parenting advice that reflected a somewhat “tiger mom” approach.
Together, they were widely regarded by the sisters as deeply spiritual people. I, too, held this pastor and his wife in high esteem.
Then, for a period of time, Minister T suddenly disappeared. Mrs. T was no longer seen at my mother’s fellowship gatherings either. I assumed they had gone away for ministry or missionary work. Only much later did I learn the truth: Minister T had been unfaithful to his marriage. Mrs. T stepped down from all her ministries and quietly withdrew from public life, remaining at home and keeping in contact with only a few close sisters. When I first heard the news, I was so shocked that I literally sat there with my mouth open, unable to close it for a long time.
Minister T, of course, also stepped down from ministry. Under the guidance and counseling of several pastors, he lived quietly and out of the spotlight. From time to time, I would see the couple at Sunday worship services. They would sit quietly in a corner of the sanctuary, participate in the service without drawing attention to themselves, and leave quietly after the benediction.
Several years later, Mrs. T returned to my mother’s fellowship and shared her thoughts on what it means to submit to one’s husband. Using Abraham and Sarah as an example, she said: “Abraham is known as the ‘father of faith,’ yet during his journeys he twice lied out of fear for his own life, claiming that Sarah was his sister and allowing her to be taken into a king’s palace. If even the father of faith was not a perfect man, how much more imperfect will our husbands be?” Mrs. T went on to explain that submission to one’s husband must begin with trusting God and submitting to God. Only when our confidence is ultimately placed in Him can we learn to extend grace to the imperfect people He has placed in our lives.
She shared her reflections at the fellowship with remarkable calmness and grace. The more lightly she spoke of it, the more deeply her words touched my heart. Each sentence seemed to pluck a string within me, slowly forming a melody—simple in tune, yet filled with a pure and profound emotion. What valleys of tears had she walked through? Through what storms of grief, anger, and heartbreak had she drifted before arriving at this place of peace? Only after such a journey could one finally behold green pastures beyond the wilderness.
Christians having a downfall or public scandal is nothing new.
A friend said in deep discouragement that the encouragement they once received from sharing reflections on Philip Yancey's books in a study group was as powerful then as the anger they feel now, when they think about his affair. After this major scandal, I believe many readers have, in this moment, lost confidence in Christian authors: Can I trust the motives and judgment behind what these authors write? Can I trust their character?
Scripture tells us that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Indeed, every one of us bears that reality. Wherever people are found, flaws and failures will also be found. Only the Lord Jesus is perfect and without sin. Throughout history and across cultures, countless Christians in positions of ministry have committed grievous sins that left deep wounds and lasting consequences: pastors involved in affairs, financial misconduct, clergy guilty of sexual abuse or harassment, the misuse of spiritual authority, and more. For centuries, such scandals have surfaced again and again. As King Solomon observed in Ecclesiastes, “There is nothing new under the sun.” Even the heroes of Scripture were not exempt. David, a man after God’s own heart, was overcome by lust, took another man’s wife, and arranged for her husband’s death.
Thousands of years later, Christians still love to read the Psalms written by David. Perhaps it is because the Bible honestly presents his life. We see his courage as a youth; his respect for Saul even while being pursued by him; the blessings God bestowed on him as king; and his repentance after being confronted by the prophet for his sin. Though David was God's chosen king, he was not a perfect man. In the Psalms, we can read his lifelong self-examination: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me...” (see Psalm 139:23–24).
Preparing for Finishing Well
Many Christian leaders and ministry workers labor faithfully in their faith and service for a lifetime, only to stumble near the finish line and fail to finish well. What a heartbreaking tragedy that is. Philip Yancey allowed lust to take root and eventually fell into sin as he approached the age of seventy, failing to achieve a good ending. One wonders whether these leaders and servants of God face especially intense temptations from the evil one day after day, or whether those in positions of influence and prominence are simply more vulnerable to losing their way and falling into the enemy's snare.
Writer Mo Fei, in her book The Call of the Distant Mountains: How to Start Well, Serve Well, and Finish Well in Ministry?, points out that finishing well is the result of a lifelong process. It does not mean serving until one's final breath through sheer endurance. Rather, the key question is whether one has faithfully completed the course of one's life and ministry. She observes that many servants of God do not make it to the finish line—not because they do not love God, but because:
• Physical exhaustion;
• An imbalance in the structure of life;
• A long-term failure to acknowledge the reality that human beings are finite.
I once had a pastor’s wife throw her arms around me and weep uncontrollably. She told me that her husband spent every week shut away in his study, researching theology and preparing sermons. There was little communication between them as husband and wife, and her heart had long since become a dry and barren land. In truth, I was not particularly close to her. Yet I knew she had reached a point where she had no one else to turn to and was on the verge of emotional collapse. That was why she held on to me and cried. At the time, I did not know how to comfort her. All I could do was let her hold on to me and weep.
In reality, many ministry workers experience an imbalance in the structure of their lives because they are so focused on ministry. In his memoir, Philip Yancey mentioned that during the peak years of his ministry and writing career, he went through a period of emotional disorder. When our lives become out of balance and our physical well-being is neglected, we may find ourselves unable to continue on the path of service—or worse, we may end up taking the wrong path altogether.
I once heard a pastor describe the many “non-negotiable rules” he had established for himself. For example: “Never be alone with a female coworker or church member,” and “Never stay on the phone with a female coworker or church member for more than fifteen minutes.” He explained that these boundaries were intended to give no foothold to the devil and to protect both himself and his wife. Finishing well requires intentional planning and sustained prayer. Only by maintaining a healthy and balanced condition—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—can we stay the course and endure for the long journey.
Taking the First Steps on the Path of Grace
After the affair, Minister T resigned from his ministry position and stepped away from all forms of service. For a long period of time, he received counseling and support from several pastors. To provide for his family, he found a job and performed exceptionally well in the workplace. Having entered a different field, he now preached through his daily life and conduct, demonstrating diligence and integrity on the job. With the companionship and support of several sisters in Christ, Mrs. T gradually emerged from the valley of grief and betrayal. She would occasionally attend my mother's fellowship gatherings, always bringing one of her signature dishes to share with everyone. Her lifestyle also changed. Gone was the somewhat unkempt “tiger mom” image of the past; she now came to gatherings well dressed and put together. She and her husband also began traveling together frequently. After Minister T became “Assistant Manager T” instead of “Minister T,” I often found myself deeply moved by his prayers. They touched me because they truly came from the depths of his heart.
As for the pastor’s wife who once held me and wept, she endured years of emotional dryness. Then, quite unexpectedly, her husband was assigned to pastor a church in an unfamiliar city, and the couple moved to a distant town. Far from everything familiar, they found themselves depending on one another in new ways. As they navigated life together in a strange place, they developed a deep sense of mutual support forged through shared challenges. In the end, their marriage emerged stronger and more firmly grounded than before.
As long as we are human, we will make mistakes. This is not an excuse for sin, but a humble acknowledgment of reality rather than self-righteousness. God's steadfast love endures for a lifetime, and Scripture clearly points us to the way back—confession. The faithful God forgives our sins and cleanses us from all unrighteousness. God also uses our experiences of failing, admitting our failures, and turning from them to deepen our understanding of His grace. Through them, we learn more fully our need to depend on His strength each day, and we gain a clearer understanding of His calling upon our lives.
Who in this world understands the pain of betrayal better than Jesus? Forgiveness is not an easy lesson to learn. Repentance and rebuilding one's life are also tremendous challenges, especially when one must start over after losing the trust of others. Yet it is often through such experiences that we come to truly understand the breadth and length and height and depth of God's love, mercy, and grace.
Although Philip Yancey has stated that he will no longer publish any books, I still hope that after walking through this difficult chapter, he might one day record the story of starting over—the journey of restoring his relationship with God, with himself, and with others. After all, few people are willing to bring their failures into the light, especially public figures like him who hold a respected place within the Christian community.
God's abundant love and mercies never cease; they are new every morning. Forgiveness and restoration do not minimize the destructive power of sin. Yet we trust that through sincere self-examination, genuine repentance, and true change, God can ultimately lead a person out of brokenness and onto a path of grace.
Li Yanong is a writer who enjoys exploring the intersection of faith and popular culture. She hopes to build bridges between the Christian faith and contemporary culture.